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A One Shot based off the Song…Will continue if you enjoy this. Thank you for reading.
The World I Know ~ Collective Soul
Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Long slender masculine fingers tore up the bread pieces as they were thrown to feed the group of pigeons in front of the young man. At first glance he looked like a gentleman taking a break from filming a period piece or some commercial somewhere in the large bustling busy city of New York. If you did a double take and actually studied him, he sat at this bench everyday at the exact same time tearing apart the exact same bread for the exact same birds.
He wore a black bowler hat, a black suit with dovetails, and had a bamboo walking cane. He was dressed after his hero Charlie Chaplin. The only thing missing was the silly mustache he couldn't wear comfortably.
This young eccentric man's name was Edward Cullen, previous name Edward Masen. As a young boy he spent many days in a dank, dark, lonely basement with only a single T.V. that had one channel that was filled with Charlie Chaplin's hilarious antics. Edward's dream was to be just like him, so he spent his days as a child practicing certain walks, facial expressions, and goofy voices.
When people realized that this was a personal choice, they didn't care that his childhood was abusive and lonely with only a T.V. as a companion. And that only a silly man with his silly ways was the only one to keep him company days on end. No they only cared he wasn't like them "Normal". So people were hurtful to him. They called him "Looney", "Crazy", and "Asshole".
Edward wasn't uneducated or low in I.Q. points. He understood and felt every word. His adoptive family supported his decision with understanding. However what his family didn't understand was that he was severely depressed because he hid it behind his Charlie mask.
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on
While Edward enjoyed his routine days that helped him keep some stability in what he felt like was a very out of control life because of the depression, he was missing something. Companionship with a woman.
Women in the city ran from him once they realized that the suit, bowler hat, and cane are very much a part of him in everyday life. He could wear jeans and t-shirts; he's just not comfortable in them. This was him and this was what he grew up to cope with a very traumatic childhood.
When the bread was all disbursed into the bellies of the satisfied birds Edward's verdant bright green eyes searched around him for something to do. His schedule usually called for lunch, but recently his appetite had been failing. What he didn't realize is that was his depression spiraling further down. He's in trouble and doesn't realize it, because he was alone in this.
His family had already done so much for him; he couldn't disrupt their lives with his "problems".
When his eyes landed on a petite brunette taking pictures of two dogs basking in the warm sun like seals on sand he smiled a real smile.
He stood, securing his cane under his arm and walked towards the smiling brunette. Her large SLR digital camera was clicking at an out of control rate. He chuckled quietly at the brunette whose face was almost completely obscured by the black contraption.
The brunette pulled her camera away from her face and thanked the dog's owner who was sitting on a nearby bench reading a novel thick enough to be a heavy wooden door's door stop.
Bella Swan the picture crazed brunette's eyes landed on the handsome devil of a man dressed in a very interesting outfit. She smiled at him, and he returned his own crooked grin.
She thought he was breathtaking, and she wasn't bothered by the fact he looked like he belonged in another era.
He walked and slightly bowed removing the bowler's hat. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said cordially.
Such a gentleman Bella's face flushed, her ears tipped pink, and her smile was wide. "As you Mr.…?"
Edward smiled. "My name's Edward. Edward Cullen."
She reached her hand out. They shook and dropped their hands. "It's wonderful to meet you Mr. Cullen I am Bella Swan, amateur photographer and journalist at large." She said as she did jazz hands.
I drink myself in newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why
Edward smiled because she was adorable.
She nervously chuckled and looked at him with hopeful brown eyes. "Do you mind if I take your picture?" she asked with flamed cheeks.
Edward's brow furrowed. He had been asked this before but as a joke. His heart clenched.
Bella saw his face fall and she panicked, she didn't mean to upset him.
"Oh gosh, I am so sorry…I really didn't mean to upset you. I just am in this photography class and its currently a course about the most beautiful things in the city and well…GAH…well you just so happen to be the most beautiful thing I have seen in this city," she said truthfully, no bullshit. He was truly beautiful. Bowler hat and all.
Edward's eyebrows were now to his hairline as he stared at her in shock and amusement. He had never ever been called beautiful before. This made him bashful; his entire face was now coated like a red apple.
His chuckles nervously erupted from his chest. "Sure," he said shyly looking down towards the ground, he completely trusted her for some reason.
Bella beamed at him. "Really?" she asked in disbelief. Wow she couldn't believe this beautiful gentleman was allowing her to photograph him.
Edward beamed back at her enjoying this interaction immensely. It was poetic in his heart, as music that he stopped composing a few years back started to flow freely through him. She brought him hope. It was breathtaking.
"Can we go over somewhere that isn't crawling with people, I want just you," she said but she meant it in a different context praying to God silently that he didn't pick up on her perving.
He did and smiled internally rejoicing. Hope.
Are we listening?
To hymns of offering?
They walked side by side as equals; he wasn't any lesser of a man because of his choices to not meet the "Norm".
When they reached a gathering of trees and flowers he stopped and stood smiling. After a few shots he started with his Charlie Chaplin antics. In the middle of him twirling his cane and waddling, Bella fell in love.
When they decided that enough pictures were taken-well he decided after he was sure she was taking pictures of just his hands. They sat down in the green blades and pulled them with nervous fingers as they talked about personal things.
They spent hours with each other enjoying each others laughter more than they thought possible. She learned his favorite ice cream was mint chocolate chip, he preferred comedies to drama and that he owned an iPod with every type of music possible on it.
He learned she preferred cheeseburgers to salad, wants to start a travel magazine, and wants to see the world with the love of her life by her side. In between her fidgety fingers and quirky sounds, Edward fell in love.
When the red glow of the afternoon from the sun falling they decided to call it day. Bella wanted him to have his number so instead of face to face rejection and asking if he wanted it she shoved it inconspicuously in his front jacket pocket where handkerchief's usually go.
They shared an awkward hug and parted ways with promises of trying to find the other if they happened to be in the park.
Edward walked home that evening for the first time ever, whistling a tune and twirling his cane.
A week later Bella was frantic trying to locate Edward as he was the most beautiful object in New York according to her Professor who gushed about the man with a twinkle in his eye. Bella cried as she developed his pictures, she now noticed how sad he actually was.
Such a heartbreaking beauty she mused to herself as she stared at his pictures.
She walked to the bench that she saw him sitting on previously and she mentally cursed herself.
You scared him you stupid piece of jackass crap Bella. She grumbled to herself, stupid, stupid for her to slip that number in his pocket.
That night she walked home with silent tears falling from her beautiful brown eyes as she cried for the heartbreaking beauty that belonged with the classic Hollywood legends.
Across town Edward was sitting on his terrace as he drank straight from a bottle of tequila. On his way home whistling and twirling of his cane a group of people couldn't accept his difference.
They followed him until he came up to a quiet street and cornered him.
"Why are you so stupid?" One taunted.
"Look at this asshole's watch," another called as he ripped the pocket watch away from Edward.
Another took his cane and broke it upon his knee with a very ugly cackle.
"Crazy fucking loon," one spit out right before he curled his fist and punched Edward in the stomach, because he didn't like the way Edward dressed.
Edward's breath left him and he stared in horror as the five men descended upon him with clenched fists, bent knees, and callous remarks with fury, because they didn't like the unusual man's security blanket.
His beautiful face was broken. His hope for acceptance completely shattered.
Are we listening?
To hymns of offering?
Edwards red puffy eyes looked upon the city trying to understand why people had to be so terrible to each other. Weren't we all the same? We breathed the same air. We drank the same water. We all felt it when we got hit physically. We all felt the sting when tongues pour out the hurtful hate.
How could clothing or movie star preferences define you as a person for people to hate?
He flinched when he remembered being ridiculed as a child for liking Charlie Chaplin, the only man who didn't make fun him. His only friend.
Small tears leaked from anguished green eyes as he took a deep shaky breath trying to think of something…hopeful. His was as thin as a rainbow colored bubble one careless breath could make his whole world disappear.
Another deep gulp of the burning fire that took his mind further and further away into a sea of desperation, one without a crazed photographer who admitted she picks up her dirty laundry with her monkey toes.
Edward chuckled remembering Bella and her carefree nature; she didn't care about what other people thought. He used to be like that, but after so many 'you're crazy' or 'you don't belong here' it wore your resolve.
Have we eyes to see?
That love is gathering?
Sunrise spread throughout the city of dreams while two people woke silently crying for the same sadness. A lost man who was trying to find hope in something…for life.
Bella was standing at her bedroom window overlooking a busy street and other building's, but right through her neighbors building's across the way she saw white dove unfurling it's wings on a ledge to begin its day anew. She stared at the beautiful white bird that stood for so many offerings, such as hope and peace. It flew off and she smiled thinking of Edward, he brought her hope.
She could see him next to her as she revealed his picture in Times Square smiling because this wasn't a joke this was a marvel, a wonder, him. He signed a disclaimer allowing if necessary she could use it. And her professor had tears in his eyes as he looked upon the man's sparkling eyes, bowler hat in hand as he bowed with a smile for the photographer who made his heart sputter…hope. Edward's picture spoke volumes to everyone who has laid eyes on it; some have let their tears fall for the man who they had personally made fun of for not seeing him. Just his difference.
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one
Edward dressed in his best. He was numb. His lifeless eyes swam with agony and desperation for a hand to reach for him, to let him know it was okay to be the way he was. He lost his pocket watch that he spent so much time and effort looking for. He lifted his hand to his bruised face and searched for his tender ribs. He felt nothing.
He walked towards his door, cane in hand; bowler hat perched atop his untamable hair. No looking back he opened his door and walked out. It was so very early in the morning so when he reached the top of his classic renovated building the sun was just peeking over the city skyline.
Sure steps led him to the edge where he stood and looked upon the city that had been so very neglectful of him. Just like his birth parents. Not a care in the world for the sensitive man who just wanted to belong. He didn't belong with his parents, or his city. He would belong nowhere.
His entire throat was so tight as he tried to hold back the tears of a broken man when he swallowed it was raw. He heaved a breath and looked down towards the street watching as pedestrians crossed streets in business suits or jeans. Cab's slid past silently with a few blares from their impatient horns. His eyes lifted to see the sun was higher giving more light to this city that helped ruin him.
Silently tears rolled down his beautiful cheeks as he let out a strangled cry for forgiveness. He wanted to be accepted, but he just couldn't change who he was and for that he was sorry.
He spread his arms like wings and let his head fall back as the new sun washed over him in what felt like acceptance. He smiled as he felt the warmth curl around him like the arms of a lover something he had never had the chance to experience.
So I walk on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below
Bella was watching an elderly man smile at his grandchild who was covered in syrup from their morning breakfast. She giggled as the grandfather tried to get the syrup off the boys rounded cheeks with a napkin but failing as the paper just stuck to him like snow.
Her stop came up as she exited the train she turned back quickly to the pair and smiled while she saw the boy crawl into his grandfather's lap and started to babble incoherently. She took that image with her as she walked through the station and climbed the stairs.
When she reached the top and heard the unmistakable noise of this city she smiled knowing that wherever Edward was he was found to be devastating in his Charlie attire. People wanted to meet him and they had already accepted him.
And I laugh to myself
As the tears roll down
'Cause it's the world I know
It's the world I know
Quickly Edward drew his arms around himself like a personal hug. He would fall like this, a crinkling alerted him and he furrowed his brow. As he reached his long slender pale fingers into the jacket pocket a white dove landed at his feet. His eyes widened as his fingers uncurled the note.
Edward,
I am so ridiculous I know, but I have this thing with rejection. I can't even place an order over the phone to get some food without getting all nervous because I am terrified that they will tell me they are out of the chicken I wanted. So I am taking a leap of faith and hoping you will accept my wish to get to know you as my friend. I am all by myself in this strange new city and you are the first person who has given me hope that I will be okay here. You are an amazing man in every way. Please contact me either way. You can tell me to shoo or you can accept this wish and meet me under the stars or by a lamp post or the booth in the corner. Just call so I know where or not.
With my hands clasped together,
Bella 555-7543
He smiled with a laugh and his entire face broke out into an ear to ear grin as more tears fell.
HOPE.