Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, or Yuna, thank Yevon.
Author's Note: This was written when I had five hours of Saturday detention and was contemplating suicide. As I held the pen to my throat, I thought, why not kill Yuna instead?
1/23/06 - I updated all the chapters. Edited them, as in, looked for errors. Haven't actually POSTED all of them yet, though. I'm not too bad at finding grammatical mistakes, but no one's perfect. If you see any, and I mean any, please tell me. I've got an OCD for fixing shit.
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The Prologue
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Yuna was walking down along side the Moonflow, smiling and breathing in the wonderful air.
"Oh, aren't these flowers just ever so lovely?" she sighed, picking up one.
Unfortunately, as Yuna touched the once beautiful violet flower, it withered and died.
"Oh, poopie," she sighed, unable to come up with any better insult since her vocabulary only consisted of 'Tidus, my love!' and 'Pretty!'.
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Jecht, Braska, and Auron were in the middle of a burping contest when Tidus floated back down to the farplane.
Noticing his son and having gotten over the whole 'I love you son, sorry I died and was a horrible father, I'll get better I swear it' cliche shit, Jecht was back to his old self.
"Hey cry baby," Jecht sneered, "We just sent you back up to Spira, man. What the hell are you doin' back here?"
Jecht opted to leave out the fact that Tidus had whined and acted like a complete moron for two whole years until everyone in the farplanes was in an uproar. Seriously... better to let Spira deal with that hippy.
"It's Yuna," Tidus shivered. "She used to be all sweet and shit like that, but now, man - she's scary."
Braska's eye twitched. He was a little peeved - not at the fact that Tidus was dissing his daughter, but because it had taken the poor boy that long to figure it out.
"You'd rather be eternally dead than stay in Spira with her?" Braska took a wild guess.
Tidus nodded. "You should hear her giggle, man. It's so disgustingly cute and innocent, you just want to wring her little neck-" His hands went up as he imagined his hands circling and caressing the tender skin of her neck - and not in a romantic way, either.
"Perhaps I should have killed her at birth," Braska sighed wearily. "I didn't know. By the time I realized how horribly sweet and demonically angelic my wife's daughter was-"
"You mean your daughter," Auron rose an eyebrow.
"I swear she's not mine!"
"I'm bored," Tidus yawned. "Let's see how many ways we can come up with to kill her."
"YEAH!" The trio of old, lazy men clanked their beer mugs together and guzzled down some more Coors Light.
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Let The Games Begin - End Prologue
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A/N: Just so you know, the prologue isn't directly connected with any of the chapters. It's not like Yuna would magically come back to life every time I thought up a way to end her life... Hehehe...