Midnight Solace

1. Desolation

Bella's POV

The sound of Charlie's car turning onto the long serpentine drive caused us all to freeze. We had been expecting Charlie and Sue but we were not ready. How could you prepare yourself to tell someone that their only daughter is dying and that there is no way you can help her? It is impossible but that is the task that we now have to face.

We all listened to the engine idle and then cut off. I fidgeted anxiously as I listened to Charlie and Sue cross the porch. Their footsteps were loud and hard indicating an urgency in their walk.

Edward wrapped his arm around me as Carlisle opened the door. Sue stormed into the room looking angry, upset and confused. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was surprised by her anger. Sue had always been quiet and cautious around us just like Leah.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" Sue demanded turning towards Carlisle.

Carlisle closed the door before turning to reply. "I am doing everything I can."

It was awful to see the desolation on Carlisle's face, he would want nothing more than to be able to help Leah but he couldn't and it was killing him.

"How can you say that when you are here and she is at home fighting for her life? You should be with her; you should be doing something… anything… anything to make her better."

The tears were streaming down her face as she spoke. Charlie wrapped his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her and I could see the pain it was causing him to watch Sue suffer.

"Please Sue, I know you're angry, scared and frustrated but this isn't going to help. We can all point fingers but it will not help Leah. I promise we are all trying to do our best to help her but we are at a loss as to how to do that." Carlisle's voice sounded strained and was barely more than a whisper.

Edward released me and moved towards Carlisle, Charlie and Sue.

"Carlisle is right we are doing everything we can. We are more use to Leah here than we are there. She is not alone, she is never alone. Jacob and Nessie are with her now…"

"So that makes it okay?" Sue interrupted. "They are not doctors, what can they possibly do to help?"

"More than you know," Edward relied calmly. "Like I said we need to be here, we need to find a way to help her."

Sue's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "How is sitting around here helping her?"

Edward sighed exasperated. How could Sue believe that we were just sitting around?

"Research. Leah is not a normal human; we have to take that into consideration. If we treat her like a human we could cause more harm than good," Edward explained.

Sue's anger began to subside but she was still frustrated and confused.

"I don't understand," Sue admitted. "What does this mean?"

Sue leaned into Charlie for support; she looked like she could collapse at any moment.

"Take a seat," Carlisle said. "I will explain the best I can."

She looked up to Charlie and he nodded slightly encouraging her to listen to Carlisle. Charlie lead Sue to the small white sofa and they both sat down looking apprehensive.

I hesitated where I stood - near the back wall - wondering whether to approach them. Edward came to my side and took my hand in his. I looked up into his golden eyes and saw all his pain. I wish I could make this better, I wish I could take everyone's pain away from them.

"Let's leave them to it. I want to check on Leah," Edward whispered.

"Okay," I replied.

Edward and I walked through the kitchen and out the back door. We ran to La Push hand in hand preying that Leah had not deteriorated and that we would find a way to save her.

Brooke's POV

Why is he so interested in Tanya? Sure, she is pretty but no more than the rest of us. There is nothing special about her; not having a gift gives proof to that.

I watched Joshua playing in the snow from the house. I wanted to join him but I couldn't bear to be any closer to Gino and Tanya, their inapt flirting was too much.

Joshua grabbed a handful of snow and squeezed it into a ball. He threw the snowball with precision and I watched as it ricocheted off the back of Gino's head. I expected Gino to retaliate by throwing a snowball back but he just ignored Joshua.

I couldn't believe it, how could he be so rude? Joshua only wanted to play. I could taste the venom in my mouth as the anger burned inside of me.

I watched as Joshua continued to throw snowballs towards Gino demanding his attention. Gino continued to ignore him as he looked into Tanya's eyes.

I threw the door open and stormed outside.

"Brooke," Carmen called from the porch.

I hadn't realised she had been standing there. I ignored her as I continued to storm through the snow towards Joshua. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards the house. Joshua came willingly noticing the outrage on my face.

"Brooke what's wrong?" Carmen asked concerned.

"We're going home," I spat as I walked into the house looking over my shoulder.

I knew Gino could hear me but he didn't move an inch, he continued to stare at Tanya as if she was the only person on the planet. I felt my still heart breaking as I released Joshua's hand and ran to my room. I slammed my bedroom door and fell to the floor sobbing tearless sobs. I wanted to be able to cry, I wanted some sort of a release but there was nothing but pain.

The pain cut so deep, I had never felt anything like it in my life. I had never loved until now and I never wanted to love again, it was too painful. Love broke you in too many ways when you lost it, even if you never really had it in the first place.

I knew Gino was never really mine but I had always hoped that one day he would be. That hope had now been lost along with the future I had been preying for. Gino would not be the father I craved for Joshua and he would never be mine.

"Brooke can I come in?" Carmen called from behind the door.

I was on my feet before consciously deciding to stand; I opened the door but kept my eyes to the floor. I didn't want Carmen to see how much pain I was in, I was ashamed to admit that I had been stupid enough to believe the lie.

"Are you really leaving?" Carmen asked as she closed the door behind herself.

"I have to," I replied. "I can't stay here."

"Of course you can. What has brought this on?"

I couldn't bring myself to say the words aloud knowing that everyone else would be able to hear me so I concentrated on projecting my thoughts to Carmen only.

'I can't bare it… I can't bear to see Gino with Tanya, it's killing me.'

I looked up to see Carmen approaching me with sympathy in her eyes. I knew then that she had heard my thoughts. Carmen wrapped her arms around me and whispered into my ear.

"I'm sorry you're hurting Brooke. Do whatever you must but don't forget to visit soon. We will all miss you and Joshua very much."

I pulled away from her and looked into her butterscotch eyes. I could see myself reflected in them and I didn't like what I saw. My eyes were no longer bright red but they looked weary and scared. I took a deep breath and tried to compose my features, I could not let Joshua see me like this.

"Thank you Carmen, thank you for everything."

"You are more than welcome. Would you like some help to pack?" Carmen asked.

"No thank you, I can manage. I think I need some time alone," I admitted.

"Okay just call if you need anything," Carmen replied with a smile.

"I will thank you."

Carmen turned away from me and opened the door. I watched her close the door behind herself before I grabbed my bag from under the bed.

Carmen was such an amazing person; she really cared about how people felt. I was really going to miss her and I'm sure Joshua would too. Carmen had spent many hours playing with Joshua and they had become good friends. She treated Joshua like one of her own and I began to feel pity for her as I realised she would never have a child of her own. How does anyone deal with something like that?

Jacob's POV

The sight of Leah's frail body reminded me of Bella when she was pregnant with Nessie. I felt sick to look at her yet I was scared to look away in case she became worse. Leah has always looked so healthy; she had flawless dark skin and a great body.

She was almost unrecognisable as I looked at her now. Her face was pale and drawn with a sheen of sweat across her forehead. She was much too thin and looked extremely breakable. I tried to stay positive by reminding myself that Bella had looked exactly the same and was able to overcome it.

Leah opened her eyes and looked around the room anxiously.

"Where's Nahuel?" she asked in a panicked whisper.

"He has gone hunting with Nessie," I informed her.

Leah began to relax as I spoke and slowly closed her eyes once again.

Nahuel had looked worse than I had imagined when I first came here. I expected to see his pain but I never dreamed that he too would look pale and breakable. He had lost all hope and couldn't even pretend for Leah's sake. This angered me more than anything else he had done, how could he be so selfish? Leah needs him to be strong, to have hope. If she saw his desolation, she would stop fighting and there was no way I was going to allow that to happen.

I took Leah's hand in mine, her skin was cool and dry, again a reminder of Bella. Leah opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked.

Leah smiled before replying, "A new body?"

I couldn't believe that she could still joke; it was reassuring but also upsetting, as I would love to be able to give her exactly that.

"Sorry but I don't think the store has your size," I joked.

Leah laughed but not in the way I was used to, it was strained and breathless and seemed to cause her pain.

"How long have they been gone?" Leah sighed.

"Not long they should be back soon," I replied keeping my voice even.

In truth, they had been gone for two hours and I started to worry that something was wrong. I knew Nahuel needed some time to escape the calm façade I had forced him to have around Leah but he was starting to take longer each time he left. I was grateful that Leah slept every time he disappeared, as it was easier to lie to her about the amount of time he had been gone.

"How are things with Nessie?" Leah asked suddenly.

"Great," I lied.

Leah wasn't convinced, "I'm sorry Jake; please don't let me stand in the way of your happiness."

"You're not," I lied again. "Nessie and I are fine."

Leah didn't seem convinced but she let it go. She carefully rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.

I sat back in the chair beside her and tried to think of ways to make things better with Nessie. I have spent many hours sitting here next to Leah since we found out she was ill, Nessie and I barely had any time alone. Nessie understands my need to help Leah but I cannot help thinking that she too feels that Leah is a lost course. I thought Nessie would be more optimistic considering the suffering Bella injured to have her. Maybe I'm just reading her wrong; it does seem out of character for her.

I jumped at the sound of a knock on the front door. I had been so occupied with my thoughts that I never heard an approach. I stumbled to my feet feeling the tiredness setting in and went to answer the door. I was surprised to see Bella and Edward standing there, I thought they would be at their cottage by now.

"Hey Jake," Bella said. "How's Leah?"

"No change," I replied as I led the way back into the house.

Leah's condition had remained the same for two weeks, which gave me hope that we would find some way of helping her before it was too late.

I slumped back into the chair - afraid to blink in case my eyes remained closed - as Edward examined Leah.

"Where is Nessie?" Bella asked.

"She is on her way in," Edward replied before I could open my mouth.

I turned to see Nahuel and Nessie enter the room. Nahuel was in the process of rearranging his features from the desolate man to the hopeful boyfriend. Nessie smiled when she saw Bella and Edward, which was something I had not seen for a while.

"Hi mom… dad, what are you doing here?"

"Hi sweetheart, we came to check on Leah," Bella replied.

"How is she doing?" Nessie asked as she stood beside me.

"Much the same," Edward replied in his mechanical voice.

Nessie's face dropped slightly at his words and I realised I had just been imagining things earlier.

"Why don't you two go home," Edward said. "Bella and I will watch Leah tonight."

I would like nothing more I thought. Nessie and I need some time alone.

"Shouldn't you be with the others trying to find a way to save her," Nahuel cried at Edward. I was on my feet in a flash, how dare he?

"Calm down Jake," Edward cautioned.

I could feel the fire inside me; I had to work to keep it there to stop myself from phasing.

"Jake and Nessie need their sleep," Edward told Nahuel calmly. "You cannot expect them to stay here every night."

Nahuel did not reply, he fell to his knees beside Leah and took her hand in his. Nessie reached for my hand and I took it gladly.

"Let's go home," she said.

I looked into her gorgeous brown eyes and saw the longing in them. I immediately felt guilty for neglecting her and promised myself that I would not do it again.