I was bored. No more to say.
Aizen-sama is an amazing person, I really have to say. I mean, what other great guy would
a) Give you fashion tips on how to style your hair, not that mine ever wants to be styled
b) Can actually shut Tousen up about the whole justice gig before thirty minutes has elapsed or
c) Let me name all of our "children." Well, foster children. Because there is no way I'm getting pregnant. Or Aizen-sama getting pregnant. Because that just don't make no sense. Well, alright, that makes just as much sense as strawberry pudding. Seriously. What freak would come up with strawberry pudding?
So, anyway, our children were the Arrancar, which I bet you all know about, and if ya don't...ummm...well, I can't help you.
But of course Kubo Tite doesn't bother to put the names that I gave our children into the manga because he finds them "childish." So let me tell you, Mr. Tite, YOU are childish for making me a childish character and you cannot stop me from posting this military case sensitive file on the Internet concerning the Arrancars' true names!!! Because I, Ichimaru Gin, shall NOT be repressed!
Okay. Here are the REAL names of our beloved children:
Barragan - OldyCar - Because, he is, actually, old.
Halibel - ScaryCar - She's scary.
Stark - LazyCar - Lazier than a bowl of mice. I have never seen such laziness in all my days, excluding the days when I was Captain and that's because Izuru neglected his paperwork for too long.
Ulquiorra - EmoCar - I can just see Ulquiorra being Amy Lee from Evanescence in a previous life. Assuming, of course, that he would be a girl. Not that he's not a girl, it's just...well, nobody's actually bothered to check this fact. Except maybe Szayel, and I don't trust Szayel's opinion after he told me that I had cancer. Which I can't get.
Nnoitra - MichaelJacksonCar or, on the rare occasion, SpoonyCar - He DOES look like Michael Jackson! Don't deny it! And a spoon...
Grimmjow - KittyCar or, more often, STD-Car - Kitty because he is a kitty, and STD because...well, you'd have to read mah beloved Shiro's Guide to High School. Ya know, I actually found his diary, and whoowhee...there were some graphic items in there...
Zommari - SilentCar - This guy is freaky, but not as freaky as Halibel.
Szayel - FreakyCar - He IS freaky!
Aaroniero or however you spell his name - MonsterCar - Because anything with two heads automatically qualifies as a monster.
Yammy - ChubbyCar - He's FAT.
Ha, take THAT, Mr. Tite! I have escaped this unfair government called a democracy that you have forced unto me!
Now, that business is taken care of, I must say:
Dear Mr. Tite: We are damn evil. But we want to live too.
Signed truly, Aizen, Gin, Tousen, and the rest of the Arrancars in Hueco Mundo.
Oh, and P.S., if you kill Il Forte, which you seem prone to do, please note that Szayel shall undergo a mental disease and proceed to cut off Halibel's hair, which might result in us having one less Espada. And we all want to escape Halibel's fury. Please consider (no, please FOLLOW THROUGH) with our requests!
Ta-ta for now!
Yours sincerely,
Ichimaru Gin
LOL. References to Hitsugaya's Guide to High School, also by yours truly. Credit goes to Aruguealot for ChubbyCar.
Later!
Skyskater