Firstly, hello. ;D This is a story shared between Nikkitasaurus and EmzEmz. This story was written between us ages ago for fun. But we thought hey, let's get some FF brownie points and upload it! It's in first person, has many mistakes and will annoy you if you're a story line nazi. We screw with everything. Everything. We can asure you that we'll probably offend you, but will make you laugh aswell. n-n Well, have fun?
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not ours.
Warning: Swearing, lots of swearing.
Nikki, Mellie and Hogwarts. OhSnap!
Chapter 1 - Breaking News: HOGWARTS IS REAL!
The first bang against the window meant nothing, we didn't even hear it. Well, it wasn't a big thump, it sounded like a little tap above the music, but we thought nothing of it. Breath by Breaking Benjamin started on my iTunes, and I reached for the speakers to turn it up a little more. A little more couldn't hurt; it was loud enough as it was. Every word blasted into our ears, and we sung along. Terribly, but it was terrific in a Nicola and Emelia sense.
The second time when the knocking-like sound happened, we thought that somebody was probably flicking things against the house, complaining, because we were making so much noise. I didn't even know if my Mum was calling me from downstairs because we were enjoying ourselves so much, head banging and laughing.
But the third time... No, that was just pushing it.
I jumped from the bed and roughly pulled my curtains open, shouting. "YOU WATCH! I'M GONNA SHANK EVERY GIT WHO'S DOING THA-"
"Nikki! Calm down!" Mellie screeched as she stepped towards my window from the computer chair. She pushed me back down to the bed and looked at me seriously, and for a split second I thought she was going to make a move on me, but then she started laughing her head off.
"You bloody lesbian!" I groaned, as she opened my window and took a look outside. I pushed myself up from my bed, and stood behind her. But as soon as I had done so, she squealed and before I knew it, I was back on the bed again. Her on top of me.
I pushed her off me and she fell to the floor. "JEEBUS CHRIST, YOU TART! WHA-"
I was cut off, again, by Mellie.
"No, Nikki!" She screeched, picking herself up off my wooden flooring. She started to jump up and down, like she was a five year old, and started pointing to my shelves. I gave her my usual look, as I do when she goes mental, and turned to what she was pointing at.
There, on my shelves. Right in front of me. What Mellie was still doing her little pee-dance and pointing at, were two animals.
"Jesus, Mary and dear Joseph." I mumbled out with much difficulty.
Owls. Two of them.
"Nikki?" I think she was having a bit of trouble believing it. So, to check I waved my hand in front of her eyes. Nup, she was completely out of it. I shrugged and knelt on her bed looking at the owls... And the letters... on their legs. Oh my god. This was too good! Someone was definitely playing a cruel, cruel joke.
I looked at what was on their legs – small, neat envelopes closed with an official red wax seal. With the crest... No, surely... My fingers trembled a little in excitement, by this time Nikki had joined me and was inspecting the owl holding her addressed envelope. I was the
first to untie the letter. I actually fell over backward in shock went the owl thrust its leg into the air in a swift can-can motion. They really did that! Awesome!
"Wah dah fu..." Nikki murmured, having now untied the letter and turning it over skeptically.
"It's got to be a joke." I said, nodding smartly as I held the letter. I hate the feeling of paper. I was touching it gently, scared it would go poof. Suddenly there was a screech, a flap of wings and both owls upped and left. They flew straight over my head; I screeched and fell back again.
Nikki, unfazed by the owl that had just nearly killed her had the nerve to laugh at me. The nerve! I glared at her before we sat, for the longest time just staring at the addresses on our letters.
My letter had a little extra on the front, saying:
'(Just for the night.)'
Nikki and I stared at the infamous neat, script slanted handwriting. I took a deep breath, having trouble with ruining the perfection of the letter, and broke the seal opening it. I heard Nikki gulp and withdraw a breath as well.
Two pieces of folded parchment fell out. I picked them up and scanned both quickly. One was a letter, the other was a list. I picked the letter first, reading it. Nikki hurriedly flicked hers open and started to read her letter, too.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Miss. Emelia Smith
I hope this letter finds you well. I send this letter on a formal and informal note. I shall start with the formalities.
You have been accepted into Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins immediately due to circumstances. As soon as we get a reply you will be escorted to school by a member of our staff through the transportation we call the floo network.
Due to the belated invite, you will have a choice of either entering in 1st year or straight into 3rd. You will be provided with a tutor if you choose the second option. On that note; we apologize sincerely for you not being rightly enrolled on 1st September two years, 4 months and 18 days ago.
Our delay in invitation is unknown and a current investigation is being held.
Now; on the less formal note, Miss. Smith. As you read this I am visiting your current permanent residence for permission of your enrollment.
We hope to hear and see you soon, we are sure both you and Miss. Larkham we be excellent students. My good friend, Julie Tomkins informs me you are both intellectual and 'fun'.
Yours sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
"Holy shit!" I screamed, dropping the letter before diving for Nikki's phone. Without asking I punched in my Mutti's mobile number and waited anxiously for her to pick up. She did, her voice shaken, determined and unbelieving. "SAY YES!" I screeched down the phone and screamed again for extra emphasis and slammed it down. I looked up at Nikki and saw her face pale. I expect I was paler than usual too.
I picked up the second letter. A list, but not like any others, the books and everything else looked so awesome...
All necessary books and equipment for first year students:
UNIFORM
Students will require:
Three sets of plain work robes (black)
One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags
COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1, 2 and 3) by Miranda Goshank
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble
In the special circumstances your second year and third year books will be provided.
OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size)
1 set of glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set of brass scales
Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad
Any questions please do not hesitate to send an owl.
I repeat.
Holy shit.