The Kissing Game Chapter 1: The Return of the Kissing Bandit, a ranma fanfic

This story is intended to be a compliment to Azusa Shiratori's Ranma 1/2 "Outta Control" episode (Hey, if Azusa gets her own episode, her partner should get one too!) Oh, and the title of this story is inspired by the song "The Crying Game", sung by Boy George.

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Ranma 1/2 Fanfic:

"The Kissing Game"

by Avi

Part One: "The Return of the Kissing Bandit"

Somewhere in downtown Nerima, a young man impeccably dressed in a pale green suit walked down the street. He was well aware of the admiring gazes given to him by the young ladies, not to mention a couple from the not so young.

Just up ahead in his path, a girl wearing a high school uniform dropped her books. As she fumbled to pick them up, a faint smile appeared across the young man's face. He strolled up to the student and knelt beside her.

"Need a hand?" he asked casually, reaching for a book.

"Uh, yeah..." She turned to face the speaker, and her voice trailed off. The few books she had managed to pick up fell out of her hands. The boy's smile grew a little wider.

Gotcha. In one fluid motion, he swept up the girl's books in one hand, and helped her to her feet with the other. Then he presented the books to her. "Yours, I believe."

She accepted them shyly. "Um, yes. Thank you."

"No trouble at all. Miss...?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yuka."

"Yuka. And my name is Mikado. Mikado Sanzenin." The girl's eyes widened.

"The famous skater?" He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

"Ah, you've heard of me, then?" Excellent. Mikado continued his polite conversation, patiently awaiting an opening so he could move in for the kill...

xXx

"Say Ranma, isn't that Yuka over there?" asked Akane. Ranma peered at the girl Akane was pointing at, noting that she was wearing the same Furinkan uniform as his fiancee.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I've been trying to get her attention, but she hasn't noticed." Ranma snorted.

"Well, of course not, Akane. She's got that guy hanging all over her." He stared at the two for a moment, then frowned.

"Oh, no. Not him..." muttered Ranma. He began to stride up to the couple.

"Wait! Ranma, what's wrong?" asked Akane. She ran after her fiance. Trying to keep up with him, she only paused a moment to gaze at the boy her schoolmate was with. Her eyes widened.

"Mi... Mikado Sanzenin! What's he doing here?"

"I don't know," Ranma said gritting his teeth, "But I'm sure as hell gonna find out."

xXx

The plan was proceeding perfectly. Mikado reeled in the girl as only he knew how, and was now going in for the coup de grace: the kiss.

"Yo, Maniacal Sex-Fiend!"

Mikado froze in mid-kiss. There was only one person who would address him in such an atrocious manner. He turned around, confirming his suspicion. There was Ranma Saotome, obnoxiously waving at him. He made it painfully clear that he was addressing Mikado and nobody else. As Ranma walked up to him, Mikado managed to rein in his temper.

"So we meet again, Mr. Saotome." he replied cooly. "And the name is Mikado Sanzenin." His expression bore no indication of his annoyance, except for the vein throbbing in his head.

"Sorry, didn't quite hear you there, Mental Sufferer," replied Ranma pleasantly. Mikado fumed. While the latter was distracted, Akane approached her friend.

"Is that guy bothering you?" she asked. Yuka blushed.

"Oh no," she replied. "He was just... Helping me out..."

"Really...? Well, I wouldn't trust him, if I were you." Yuka stared at Mikado wistfully.

"But he's such a hunk!" Akane nearly facefaulted.

"Yeah, well..." Akane took a quick glance behind her. Certain she was out of earshot of both Ranma and Mikado, she leaned in close to her friend. "That guy kissed Ranma, you know." Yuka looked horrified.

"No!" Akane nodded solemnly.

"Ew, gross!" Yuka ran off, leaving clouds of dust in her wake. Meanwhile, Mikado was glaring at Ranma.

"How dare you interrupt me!"

"Oh, don't let me stop you," said Ranma with a smirk. "Go right ahead." Mikado smiled in satisfaction.

"So, Saotome. It seems you have learned some manners, after all." He turned around. "Forgive the interruption, my dear. Let us continue where we left off..." His voice trailed off, as he suddenly discovered that his intended victim had disappeared. A large sweat droplet appeared on his head.

"Lose somethin', Sanzenin?" Ranma grinned. Mikado was about to give Ranma a piece of his mind when he realized his ticket to salvaging the situation was also standing before him. He approached Akane, who watched him warily.

"You are Akane Tendo, are you not? Such a pleasure to see you again." He took her hand. Akane tried not to recoil, and Ranma tried to resist shoving Sanzenin's face through a wall. Mikado continued, a glint entering his eye.

"It is a shame I was never able to kiss you, though... Allow me to rectify this now."

Unfortunately, Mikado's seduction was cut short by an uppercut.

"In your dreams, pal!" snarled Akane. Mikado sailed into the stratosphere. Ranma watched him 'leave'.

"Welp. That takes care of that. Let's go home, Akane."

xXx

Ranma and Akane walked together in silence, until the latter had managed to calm down. Finally, Akane said, "He hasn't changed."

"Yeah. That Sanzenin's still a skirt-chasin' creep," snorted Ranma in disgust. Akane cast him a sideways glance.

"You're one to talk."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means, womanizer?"

"At least I'm not an uncute, boy-hating, tomboy!"

"Hey! Would you rather he kissed me, then?" she retorted. Ranma trailed off.

"Uh... Well..." Much to Akane's surprise, he stopped taunting her. Then Ranma asked, "Say, how did you get Yuka to leave so fast, anyways?" Akane blushed.

"Um..."

"C'mon, you can tell me."

"It's none of your business!" she said rather sharply.

"Oh, I get it. It's one of those feminine things, isn't it?" Akane breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the subject was dropped. Too bad Ranma chose to mutter "Stupid girl" under his breath.

"What did you say!"

Meanwhile, Mikado observed the bickering couple from a distance, looking surprisingly unharmed. So, Saotome thinks he can make a fool of me, does he? Well, I shall just have to teach him a lesson. The thought of Akane also crossed his mind, and he smiled. And if the lovely Miss Tendo is there to see it, all the better. Perhaps I shall even steal her kiss...

Just then, a pretty girl passed in front of Mikado. His eyes followed her. But first... He began to walk after the girl, the faint smile hovering on his lips.

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A bell rang at the front door of the Tendo residence.

"I'll get it." Nabiki strolled to the foyer, casually munching a bag of shrimp chips. She opened the door. On the other side stood Mikado, carrying a bouquet of roses. There was a barely perceptible sizing up from both parties: Nabiki probably deciding if he was loaded or not, and Mikado trying to figure whether or not she was kissing material.

"Yes?" asked Nabiki. She looked the new visitor up and down, evaluating the cut and value of his clothing. "How may I... Help you?" Mikado took in his hostess's chin-length hair and tight-fitting shorts, and came to his own decision. A slow smile appeared on his face.

"Ah, yes. My name is Mikado Sanzenin. I'm looking a Mr. Ranma Saotome, who I believe resides here. Do you know where he might be?" Nabiki smirked.

"I suppose..." Her smile turned mischievous, and she pointed at the bouquet of flowers. "Those for him?"

"Certainly not!" Mikado looked affronted. He cleared his throat, surprised that he let this girl get to him. "No, I'm afraid these are for Akane Tendo. I was under the impression that she also lived here." Nabiki raised her eyebrows.

"Another suitor for my little sister, I see." She turned to the stairs behind her, allowing time for the words 'another suitor' sink in. "Akane!" she called out. "Somebody here to see you!" This promises to be fun... Behind her, Mikado arced an eyebrow.

"'Little sister'...?" As Nabiki turned back to face him, his mental gears went to work. "Ah, if I had only known that the charming Ms. Tendo had an equally gorgeous sister... I should have brought more flowers. Please, allow me to make up for this slight..." He leaned in for a kiss.

Something brushed against his lips. Mikado opened his eyes in surprise. There something between his lips, all right... It was a shrimp chip.

"Sorry, maybe some other time, San-chan." Nabiki was still smiling, but there was a touch less amusement in her expression.

While Mikado tried to figure out why on earth Nabiki called him by a nickname only his skating partner used, a curtain behind her flipped aside. Kasumi stepped out, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Who is at the door, Nabiki?" she asked. She took in Mikado with his flowers, and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my! We have a visitor. I'd better make some tea for our guest." She went back into the kitchen. The shrimp chip fell from Sanzenin's lips.

What's this? Another lovely sister? thought Mikado. At that very moment, Akane came down the stairs.

"Did you call me, Nabiki?" She stared at the visitor. "Mikado Sanzenin...?" What's he doing here? Upon seeing Akane, Mikado immediately directed all his charm towards her.

"My dear Akane... You are more enchanting than ever today." He walked up to her, handing her the roses. "These are for you." She looked at them skeptically.

"Gee, thanks. I guess..."

xXx

A moment later, Mikado was seated at a table in the living room, surrounded by members of the Tendo family. At the table sat the three sisters, as well as their father, Soun. Kasumi was pouring tea, and offered a cup to Mikado. He accepted it, and bowed his head to her in gratitude.

"So, what brings you here, Mr. Sanzenin?" Soun asked, a touch suspiciously.

Mikado tore his gaze away from the three sisters, with whom he had been trying to divide his attentions equally. It's a shame Akane's father entered when he did, he thought regretfully. Even Mikado had sense enough not to kiss a girl when her father was around; worst case scenario: the father would force him to marry her. And he certainly wasn't ready for that yet; too many lips yet unconquered. He smiled to himself quietly. Although... There was that one girl... Realizing that Soun was still awaiting an answer, Mikado came to himself.

"Forgive me, sir," he said smoothly. "I'm afraid I was distracted by your three, breathtakingly beautiful daughters." Kasumi went, "Oh, my!"; Nabiki looked amused; Akane, disgusted. "I merely came over today looking for Ranma Saotome. Do you know where I might find him?" Akane's eyes widened.

Ranma? What could he want with... Suddenly, there was a splash outside. All eyes turned as the screen door to the backyard was opened. Mikado raised an eyebrow at the sopping wet panda, but it was the second person who arrested his gaze.

"My pig-tailed princess!" he said breathlessly, rising to his feet. Everybody stared at him. Ranma-chan stopped wringing out her hair and looked up.

"S... Sanzenin!" she gasped out in surprise. What the heck is he doing here? Before she could react, Mikado was at her side, clasping her hands to his chest.

"To think, I never thought I'd see you again..."

"Yeah? Well, the feeling is mutual, pal," Ranma-chan snapped.

"Ah, I can still remember the sweet taste of your lips-" His sentence was punctuated with a klonk to the head.

"I've been trying to forget!" Ranma-chan removed her elbow, scowling. Nabiki got a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"Oh, so this is the guy that gave you your first kiss..." she murmured in amusement. Nabiki chuckled softly. Akane gave her sister a sharp look.

"Sis!" she hissed, elbowing her. Unfortunately, Mikado had already heard.

"Your... First kiss?" He turned questioningly back to Ranma-chan, who had began to sweat. "Ah, no wonder you wept at my kiss. I still remember that day clearly..." The living room faded away and turned into a skating rink, which, for some reason, was surrounded by fields of flowers. On centre ice was Ranma-chan in Mikado's arms, sharing an intimate kiss. Finally, Ranma-chan pulled away, her eyes wide and bright.

"Oh!" she said, in a sweet, child-like voice. "To think my first kiss was with the Emperor Sanzenin!" She began to skip away. Mikado held up a hand to stop her.

"Wait, please!" Unheeding, Ranma-chan continued to skip blissfully along.

"Eeeeeeeee! I'm so happy!" From her exaggeratedly huge eyes, tears flowed freely. Flower petals flew past her.

"Yes, it's understandable you reacted so," continued Mikado, as reality faded back in. "Why, it is only natural that-" He never got to finish the sentence, as Ranma-chan decided to give Mikado a little reality check.

"That's not the way it happened!" she snarled, booting him out the backyard and into the sky. Beyond all expectation, Mikado somersaulted gracefully in the air, landing lightly on the brick wall marking the end of the yard.

"You seem to be rather shy today," he called to her, unperturbed. "Perhaps I shall see you some other time, then." He leapt off the wall, and out of sight, as Ranma-chan seethed. There was an uneasy pause of silence in the room. Finally, Soun chose to speak.

"So, son..." he started off calmly. Suddenly, his head was ten times its original size, clouds of smoke trailing behind it. The demon-head of Soun loomed over an intimidated Ranma-chan. "What's this about you kissing a man!"

"No! Wait! You don't understand! He kissed me!" She blinked as she realized what she just admitted, and began to sweat. "Er, what I mean is... He didn't really kiss me, uh..." Behind her, Genma sobbed, still steaming from a kettle of water he had just poured over himself.

"Boy, you break your poor father's heart..." Ranma-chan bonked him over the head with her fist.

"Who asked you?" Predictably, Soun joined in on the sobbing.

"Isn't it bad enough that you have girls chasing you around town, son? Now you're leading around boys, too!"

"Who's leading around anybody!" cried Ranma-chan. Akane put an hand to her head in exasperation, resigning herself to the argument she and her sisters had to watch.

xXx

Later, Akane found Ranma in the dojo, sulking. His back was turned to her.

"Thought I'd find you here," she said. No response. Then he said:

"Did anyone follow you?" Akane looked surprised.

"Er... I don't think so..." she replied. Ranma nodded.

"Just wanted to make sure nobody was listening in on us." Akane's eyes lit up in understanding. Trying to even talk to Ranma alone incited curiosity in their respective, matchmaking families. "So what did you come in here for, anyways?" he asked. Akane took a deep breath, and decided to continue.

"Ranma, I've been thinking... Why don't you just tell Mikado you're really a guy?" Ranma's head snapped around.

"No way! I'd sooner kiss him again!"

"Look Ranma, I know you're still sore at Mikado, but you've got to get over your pride! So he kissed you! Big deal!" Ranma bristled at that.

"Aw, like you'd know anything about it..."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That you've never been kissed by another man befor-" He trailed off. They looked away from each other. There was an uneasy pause of silence. Finally, Akane swallowed her nervousness and spoke.

"Look, my point is, that you don't want another guy chasing after you, do you?" Ranma grimaced.

"Yeah, I suppose," he conceded. He turned away for a moment. Though I'm not about to admit that another man kissed me... he thought to himself defiantly. Especially to the guy who did the deed.

"You will think about my suggestion, then?" she asked. There was a pause, then Ranma nodded slowly, if reluctantly. Akane looked relieved, as her fiance put his hands behind his head.

"Wonder why that creep was hangin' around here, anyways." Akane look of relief changed to that of worry.

"He was looking for you, you know." Ranma shrugged, causing his fiancee to sigh.

You may not be worried, Ranma, she thought, but I don't think that's the last we'll see of Mikado.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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