A/N: This is just a (hopefully) humorous, little oneshot I came up with somewhere in my twisted mind. It takes place after Breaking Dawn. And, no, I don't own Twilight or the illustriously sexy Aro, but if I did, oh, the fun I would have…
Bella's POV
I had absolutely no idea why on earth Aro requested a meeting with me in Volterra, but he said it was urgent, so I dropped Renesme off at Jake's, said goodbye to Edward, and hopped on a plane to Italy. On the way, I could only contemplate what the insidious leader of the Volturi could possibly want from me. It was probably something involving me joining his creepy team, or letting him perform some kind of scientific experiment on my daughter. Whatever it was, I was fairly sure it was an idea would utterly disgust me.
***
As I was led into Aro's study, I couldn't help but notice the almost stereotypical décor. The dark walls were covered in seemingly ancient paintings. All seating and curtains were made from a blood red fabric. The room simply screamed sinister vampire lord, if you asked me. Gee, if Aro was trying to blend in with the human community, he wasn't doing a great job.
I sat down on a Victorian couch, which was most likely worth more than my car. As I sat, Aro slowly turned in his high-backed office chair. An extremely off-putting smile spread across his face. His hands were clasped together in front of his chin. Dear God, what had I gotten myself into?
Aro's POV
I had been very bored recently. After Bella was changed into a vampire and the whole issue with her vampire hybrid daughter was worked out, I found myself with an unusually empty schedule. I tried picking up hip hop dance, but the teasing from Caius and Marcus had become too much to handle, so I gave up that dream. Shortly after, I took to sitting on the couch and watching The Hills for hours…and hours. I found the lives of these girls, Heidi, LC, and the ever lovely Audrina, to be a sort of escape, a means of forgetting the world and its travesties. Why, I even attempted to grow a beard to match Spencer's. However, I remembered that I am a vampire…and we can't grow hair. Those stupid humans get to have all the fun.
So lost was I in this mystical new world, that I hardly had time for anything else. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. No, wait, I never did those things before either. Curse you, LC! So, well, Jane decided to throw out the TV. Now I was, yet again, horribly bored. So I decided to seduce Bella! Why? Because I am Aro: The Ladies Man.
Bella's POV
"Why hello there, dear Bella. It is a pleasure to see you again so soon." The sickening smile on Aro's face stretched even farther across his face as he greeted me.
"H-Hello Aro. Of course, it's always a pleasure. I was surprised when I received your letter. I couldn't imagine why you would want to see me." I tried to get past the small talk and force the reason for this meeting out of him as soon as possible.
"Why, Bella, I'm shocked that you would think I need a reason to desire to visit with a dear friend," he laughed. Oh great. It was going to be one of those conversations.
"Well, Aro, I'm…flattered. I wasn't under the impression that you thought of me as a friend." I tried to smile as I mentally cursed him for wasting my time.
"Oh, of course. Of course. Why, in fact, you are in my Top 8 on my MySpace profile." He turned his laptop around to show me. Man, I needed to change my profile picture.
"Oh, would you look at that. That's…uh…well, that's nice." This just got weirder and weirder.
"Oh, yes I know. Well, do you desire anything, my dear? Perhaps a nice cup of tea?" Things were starting to come together. Aro had gone insane.
"Well, actually, I-I'm a vampire now, so I don't…drink tea." A blank look came across his face.
"Curse you, LC."
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing. Oh, I know! Why don't I light us a nice romant—I mean, relaxing fire?"
He stood and walked over to the large fireplace on the far side of the room. As he lit the fire I felt overwhelmingly nervous. Before turning to come back, he put on a record, something by Tchaikovsky. Then, he returned and sat on the couch, next to me.
Aro's POV
Everything was going perfectly. The romantic fire was lit. The atmospheric music was playing. Now, all I had to do was make a move. As I sat down next to Bella, I could see by the look in her eyes that she was terrified. I found it difficult to not burst into laughter. The poor girl's face was priceless!
"So, Bella," I rested my arm around her shoulder. "How is that husband of yours?"
"Well," She was noticeably uncomfortable. "H-he's fine, thank you."
"You know, I always had an odd feeling about him. And I've often thought that he was a tad, oh how do I put this? Well, I guess what I am saying is, you can do much better."
"Uh, Aro, I hardly think this is-"
"Bella, darling, have you ever been with an older man?"
"WHAT?" she shrieked. The amusement grew with each second.
"Oh, yes, yes, I can see you are uncomfortable. Why don't we take this conversation somewhere more relaxing? I know a nice hotel down the street."
Before I could hear Bella's presumably hilarious response, her melodramatic husband came bursting through the door. You could practically see the steam rising from his ears. My scheme was turning out to be even more entertaining than I had planned!
"Why hello, Edward," I said with a smile. "Bella and I were just discussing some…entertainment possibilities. Would you like to join us?"
If vampires could blush, the poor boy's face would be beet red. He looked at his wife, then at me. He seemed at a total loss for words, but finally he spoke:
"You mentioned a hotel?"
Bella's POV
Before I realized I had started running, I was halfway to the airport. I quickly boarded the first plane back to the US, which happened to be landing in New York. Without a thought, I ran the remaining distance to Forks. By the time I got home, I had summed up everything that had happened to a strange hallucination…
But Edward didn't come home that night.
~*~
I'm terribly sorry, but it had to be done. The idea wouldn't come out of my head. This was my first fanfic, so hopefully it wasn't too dreadful. Let me know, flames and all!