She wasn't just angry. No Nymphadora Tonks was beyond angry; she was livid.

He was just a self-degrading, funny, ridiculously kind, sweet man. The type that would rather stay away from a woman he loved - and who loved him - if it meant she would have a better life. It was ridiculous really. She was a woman, she knew what she wanted and she wanted Remus John Lupin. The awful thing was he wanted her as well but denied himself any sort of happiness because of his ailment.

Though ailment was a rather odd word to describe lycanthropy. It was a lot like the Muggle disease cancer her father had described to her, something incurable but something you live with aside from side effects. Though side effects of lycanthropy were were something all together different.

Tonks sighed quietly and continued on her rounds, not showing the slightest hint of emotion on her pale, drawn face. Sometimes she really was thankful her father was a Muggleborn and had shown her videos of the Muggle Aurors. That was gave her the idea to learn how to control the emotions on her face. Good job, she was stuck patrolling with Remus most days.

She reckoned that was because Molly was trying to subtly hint to Remus that they should get together, though the man really was like Harry, he was completely oblivious to anything remotely of that fashion. It was Tonks though, the battle-hardened Auror so she simply gritted her teeth and hoped that the fool would quit trying to be the bigger man and do something for himself for once.

"Nymphadora, I think it's time to call it a night." Remus said from her left. Oh how she hated the way he insisted on being a gentleman and not calling her Tonks.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, you idiot!" she hissed back. It may have been a slight overreaction, but she had enough finally. Sometimes men need some sense knocked into their heads and Tonks was just the type to do it.

"I'm sorry, Miss Tonks. Maybe it's time we head back."

"Expelliarmus," she said, sticking out a hand to catch his wand as it flew towards her. "Tonks?" he stuttered, facing her with widened eyes.

Her hair had turned a vivid shade of red, so bright it seemed to be on fire. "That's better. Now stop this foolish behaviour. I am a woman Remus, not a girl. I know exactly what I want. Seemingly I want you, what are you going to do about it?" Her dark eyes burned with anger, staring into his amber ones.

"Tonks-"

"Listen to me Remus! I've had it with your selflessness. I don't care that you're thirteen years older than me, I don't care that you have no money and I don't give a damn that you're a werewolf. I love you Remus, you stupid fool! Love conquers all, isn't that what they say? I just don't understand why you have to constantly deny yourself any happiness. It's depressing me, Remus. I can't put up with it forever." Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them away furiously.

Remus dipped his head, "I can't Tonks-"

Smack!

"Go on, say that again," Tonks taunted, her hand raised ready to hit him again if he did. Remus' eyes watered, he didn't want to hurt her but it was necessary. "I told you I can't, Tonks."

Smack!

"Tonks!"

Smack!

"Merlin's beard, Tonks!" Remus growled and burst her with a kiss. It was a bruising kiss - hot, wet and passionate. Remus kissed her as if his life depended on it and Tonks kissed him back as if she was drowning and he was her air. Remus groaned into her mouth, all his self-control was shredded. He gripped her hips and pushed her against the wall she had pushed him against.

Breaking contact, he whispered through panting breaths, "Oh Godric Tonks, I love you so much. Don't you understand? You deserve a rich, handsome, whole man! Not a poor, ugl-"

Tonks clamped her hand over his mouth, eyes narrowing dangerously. Her hair turned dark blue, the colour it turned to when she was agitated. "I want you. Only you, forever and always."

Remus moaned. His eyes took on that maddening gleam that came when he was fending her off.

"I don't want you."

His lips were slightly swollen from their kiss, eyes glazed from the intensity of it and his cheeks still flushed a slight red. But his voice was neutral, like he broke people's hearts on a regular basis.

Tonks felt everything crack. Her heart, her iron self-control and the barrier to her tears. She pushed herself back from him, tears seeping out of her shocked eyes and down her cheeks. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest but her emotions were frozen. She knew she probably felt angry and heartbroken but the shock gave her a welcome numbness that saved her from breaking down entirely in front of him.

She should have known: Once a Marauder, always a Marauder and Marauders didn't fall in love. James was an exception - he always had been. But Sirius hadn't ever married, or dated seriously. Peter hadn't either though nobody knew about at this moment in time, the bastard traitor. James had had Lily but Lily was a different story. Everyone knew Lily was special. Brave, daring and sweet. Tonks was clumsy, weird and - well she was just Tonks.

Her heart broke completely as she looked into his dead eyes. Dead, unfeeling and uncaring. Why in the name of Merlin was she treated like this? What had she ever done to deserve it? She did the only thing she could do, the only thing that occurred to her to do, flee.

She ran, not looking back even as she heard Remus shouting after her. She ran and ran until she reached the lake and threw herself on the shore, weeping uncontrollably, sobs hurting her chest. Her eyes stung, her stomach was queasy and her chest was constricted so breathing was an almost impossible task every time she needed to inhale.

Remus didn't want her. He didn't want her and he hadn't wanted her all along. She was just someone for him to get lucky with. It hurt more than she could put in words.

The sobs turned to silent tears, so heart wrenching that it was somehow worse than the loud crying she had done moments before.

She felt herself spiral into a depression. Looking into the lake at her reflection, she saw her hair was a mousy brown colour, her normally dark twinkling eyes were dull lifeless and red-rimmed. She grimaced and tried for her cheerful bubblegum pink hair.

It didn't work.

She couldn't change her appearance. No matter how much she concentrated it wouldn't come. What had seemed so natural now was unreachable. Suddenly she was furious. She cursed Remus Lupin and the thestral he rode in on for taking the last shred of her being from her. She had read that under extreme mental anguish metamorphamagi can lose their abilities to change and it seemed like Remus had caused that to her.

It was the last straw. Tonks pulled out her wand and summoned a calming draught for herself, without it she might do something that she would regret - or not live to regret.

Nothing was right in the world.

She was alone.

A/N: This will probably be the last story I post for awhile. I've been roped into going on a tour during my midterm (which started today!) to be a minder type thing. Four days of holidays wasted!

It's a tragedy and I don't usually write sad stories, not very good at it.

Let me know what you guys think, should I continue it and make it a happy ending?

~ShazzaBlack...x