A Lonely Road
Rated Teen + for mature themes and angst. And God, it's so bloody sad.
Attn: I do NOT own Invader Zim, or any of it's characters. They are the creation of Jhonen Vasquez, nor do I own "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", which is by Green Day.
Synapsis: Everyone sees Dib as the crazy, overzealous paranormal enthusiast, the geeky X-Files kid, but what is life really like for Dib? This is about the worst day in Dib's life, and, given my education in psychology, I think I've pieced together previously untold elements about Dib's motivation and his past. Purely speculative thought and theory, but I think it sheds some light on Dib's psyche, and his hopeless state in a world that doesn't accept him. Enjoy.
CHAPTER 1:
Dib double-checked the contents of the manilla file folder: Photograph of Zim's spacecraft, check; photos of Zim without his disguise, check; page of decoded irken glyphs, check. He then scanned through the pages of documentation and paperwork he had spent month upon month compiling. He finally had it: proof! Proof that Zim was really an alien. Proof of extraterrestrial intelligence. The black-haired boy chuckled to himself at his hard-earned accomplishment as he threw in a few extra photographs of UFO's, evidence that wouldn't hold up on it's own, but combined with the rest, only concreted his results further.
The fourteen year old prodigy removed his large, black framed round eyeglasses and cleaned them with his shirt. Placing them back on, he looked at his watch. 7:00pm. Correct to the nanosecond. It had to be. It was set by the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado, and reset itself every ten minutes. One of just a few perks to being the famous Professor Membrane's son.
"Two hours," Dib said to himself. "Two hours and I present this evidence to the Swollen Eyeball Network. Finally, proof for all the world to see. Proof that we're not alone in the universe."
"Hey, nutcase," A female voice from the hall called. Gaz, Dib's younger sister walked by the door. "You're talking to yourself again, and it's really annoying." Dib looked down to the floor and sighed. He had suffered this kind of ridicule for years. At times, the mistreatment from classmates and even his own family had been not only cruel, but even physical. He thought back on all of the bullying at school, the insults and embarassments, the alienation from his own family. He knew it was all because he sought the truth in a world that didn't want to believe it. Truth. This is all that had kept him going. Now was his chance to prove himself. Once he was vindicated, he could breathe a sigh of relief.
Dib walked down the stairs of his home to his dad's basement laboratory. Professor Membrane, the world famous inventor/scientist was working busily on one of his many projects. Dib nervously cleared his throat.
"Hey, uh, Dad," He asked "Do you think you can give me a ride to my meeting in a little while?" The professor poured some powder into a test tube half full of a blue chemical.
"Not now, son." Membrane replied. "as you can see, I'm quite busy."
"But it's important." Dib argued. Membrane sighed.
"Son, your para-science is nowhere near as important as real science." He reprimanded "You should try studying something that will benifit mankind." Dib felt hurt. He scoffed lightly.
"Don't worry, I'll walk." He said, and turned to leave.
"Have fun at your friends.'" His dad called. Dib sighed, and as he climed the stairs, he heard Professor Membrane mutter "My poor insane son."
CHAPTER 2:
Reaching his room, Dib closed his door, and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. He gently leaned his head against that of his reflection. It was such a burden to know a truth that others didn't want to believe. Dib remembered the grat astronomer Galaleio, and how he was almost burned at the stake just for saying that the Earth was not the center of the universe. So what if the Earth rovolved around the sun, and not the other way round, but humanity was ready to kill to defend their beliefs, wrong or right. Dib sighed. Galaleio? Sometimes, Dib felt as though he were burning.
"It's just another paradigm shift," Dib muttered. "A global change in thought that people aren't ready to accept." He picked up his favorite black trenchcoat from his bed, and slid it over his dark blue teeshirt depicting a large, grey emotionless face. "I wonder how people will remember the name Dib Membrane in five hundred years." He muttered to himself. "Or even if they will." Adjusting his trenchcoat, he smiled. He liked his coat. He thought it kind of made him look like Agent Mulder or a vampire slayer. In a way, he fancied, he was a little of both. He picked up the file and headed out.
Dib walked down the sidewalk, holding the file protectively close. He passed by an electronics store, with a stereo playing loudly in the window. Dib paused as he recognized the song, whose lyrics ran:
I walk a lonely road
the only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me and I walk alone.
"Man," Dib sighed. "I can rally relate to that." He walked on two more blocks, thinking about how great it would be to finally prove his theories to the world, to not just become normal, but maybe even looked up to as a great visionary. Looking up, he recognized Zita, the purple-haired girl who sat across the room from him in Mrs. Bitters' class. Dib had always thought she was kind of cute, and feeling in decent spirits, he walked up to her.
"Hey Zita." Dib said cheerfully.
"Dib?" Zita asked. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out looking for bigfoot or something?" Dib's smile dropped at the facitiousness of Zita's comment. "You may wanna check in that porta-potty over there, I thought I saw a ghost go in it!" She began laughing, and Dib turned away, trying not to let Zita see the pain she had caused him. He began to walk away. "Don't get beamed up into the mothership!" Zita called. Dib just walked on.
Finally, the building came into view. It wasn't the sprawling convention complez used by the Swollen Eyeball Network for meetings, but a smaller, drab grey building used by the network's head members and researchers. Dib approached the compound-like structure, and knocked on the steel door. Immediately, a sliding observation window opened.
"Yes?" A gruff voice asked impatiently.
"Agent Mothman." Dib stated his Network name. "With sights for the eye to spy." With the correct words given, the window glanged shut. Shortly, there was a sound of a latch unfastening, and the door opened. Dib stepped in. He tried to act calm and professional, but inside himself, he was bursting with excitement to finally be at the Swollen Eyeball Network's H.Q. He felt privilaged, honored, vindicated. He looked around. The room he was standing in looked like a dim waiting room in a creepy doctor's office. Surrealistic paintings hung on the plain white walls.
"Have a seat." The large doorman stated, closing the heavy door. Dib obeyed, sitting in a nearby plastic chair, one of many in the room. He placed the folder in his lap and looked around curiously. The doorman grunted, then left the room through an unmarked wooden door. A few minutes later, he returned with a tall, skinny woman. The doorman returned to his post, and the woman stepped forward.
"Agent Mothman?" She asked.
"Yes."
"I am Agent Tuna Ghost." She said. "Come with me." Dib stood and followed the tall, short-haired female Eyeball Agent through the door, and down a long corridor. They stopped outside of another non-descript door. "In here." She simply said. Dib slowly opened the door and stepped inside.
In the room, three people sat on one side of a large table, facing the door. Dib recognized them as the old, lean Agent Darkbooty, the shadowy Agent Nessie, and Agent Disembodied head, a large man who had a parrot on his shoulder.
"Ahh, Agent Mothman," Agent Darkbooty stated. "Come in, sit, you have some important information for us, we understand?" Dib nodded in affirmation, and took a seat across from Agent Darkbooty, who sat in the center of the three chief members of the organization. Dib slid the file across the table. Darkbooty opened it, and removed a photograph, narrowing his eyes. The other two members sifted through the papers as Darkbooty carefully scrutinized the pictures. Finally, the old man spoke.
"Exactly what is this?" He asked. Dib's eyes moved from one Agent to the other, confused.
"Proof." Dib said. "Proof that we're not alone. Proof that not only is there intelligent life out there, but they live among us."
"Proof?" Agent Nessie said. "proof of something we already know to be a fact?" Darkbooty raised a hand, signaling silence.
"Yes, we in the network have known for years that alien being live among us. The question is, Agent Mothman, what do you want to accomplish?"
"You know, to prove to the world that extraterrestrials are here. That..."
"That what?" Agent Disembodied Head interrupted. "That everything society is built upon is a lie? That millenia of certainty, religious belief, and rational thought can just go out the window? No. The public can never know the truth. There would be panic, upheval, anarchy, chaos!" Dib felt as if he had just been punched in the stomach. He had devoted years to the Swollen Eyeball Network, all for nothing. He leaned over the table, calmly collecting all of his papers and photographs, and stuffed them back into the folder, which he took back.
"I've dedicated years to proving this stuff." Dib said loudly. "Years of persecution and pain! and all I wanted was to make a difference." Hwe fought the tears that were welling up in his eyes. "And all of it was just to promote some...big...alien conspiracy?! All because people are too stupid and short-sighted to accept something so simple, and so great?" Dib sniffled. "You know what? I quit!" He stormed out of the room, down the hall, and out of the building. Outside, Dib let the tears flow freely. He looked back at the building and gave a small whimper. He inhaled deeply to stop the crying, and began to walk down the dark, empty street.
CHAPTER 3
Dib wandered down the dark streets aimlessly. Somewhere in the distance, a police siren sang until it faded into oblivion. A cat meowled in an alley, and a T.V. sounded noisily from an apartment. But this all seemed like another world to Dib. A world he had never been a part of. A world that had long ago cast him aside to live in it's comfortable lies. Alone and broken, Dib found himself wandering into the old city cemetary.
The sprawling cemetary stetched out underneath the pale moonlight. Dib walked among the old headstones, running the fingers of his right hand gently over the cold granite. He thought back on all of the years of hunting the paranormal, the feckless fight that had reduced him to this.
He thought of Zim, his enemy, his obsession, his answer, and how for months he'd been trying to prove he was really an alien. No one believed him, of course, and now there was no longer any point in trying.
Dib looked up into the sky, the black emptiness filled with the crystaline sparkle of millions of stars. For some reason, his thoughts drifted to Tak. She was the only girl who had ever shown an interest in him. The only one who had listened to him. He had thought once that he was falling in love with her, until she turned out to be an alien bent on world conquest. But still.. Dib sighed. She was probably still floating around out there somewhere. Probably dead. Dead. Dib sniffed.
He thought back on his earlier meeting with Zita, and his dad's rebuke of his paranormal studies. Dib looked down at the headstone in front of him. The folder slipped from his left hand, spilling its contents onto the the dew-laden grass. Dib fell to his knees. He placed his right hand on the tombstone, burying his head in the crook of his left arm.
"Mom." He squeaked, and sobbed into his sleeve. He let it all out now, crying uncontrollably into his sleeve for what seemed like hours. He looked up at the marker and sniffed. "Why is it so hard?" He asked. Dib ran his hand down the front of the marker, then lay upon the grave, curling up on his side. "Why does it all have to hurt so much?" He whispered. "I don't want any of this. Not anymore." He sobbed once, then took a deep breath and said sadly. "I have nobody, mom, and knowing the truth is...so lonely." Dib's eyes were weary from the crying, and his eyelids felt like lead. So weak, and so cold, he closed his eyes and fell asleep as he remembered the chorus to the song he heard earlier:
My shadow's the only one who walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I walk alone