Imposters

Dire Luck

"Eh! Where the hell is she?!" the girl cosplaying as Gaara yelled, pacing back and forth. L, her current companion watched her from his seat where he was enjoying a slice of strawberry cheesecake. He wasn't a friend of hers; he just happened to find her fuming and now she forced him to stay as she vented. "This is what happens when you let Sarah go to the bathroom by herself without a map! I knew I should've gone with her!" the girl face-palmed herself.

"Eh, Gaara, why don't you go look for her?" L suggested in hopes of escaping her. He's been stuck with her for forty minutes and still hasn't figured out her real name.

The Gaara-girl blinked. "Good idea!" L smiled, thinking he could finally go find his friends. "Can you watch our bags?" Gaara asked sweetly.

His face fell immediately. "Um… Sure."

"Okay! Thank you!" Gaara skipped off to the hallway.

L looked around. He pushed the bags under the table with his foot and stalked off.

"Sarah-chan! Oh, Sarah-chan!" Gaara yelled. "Oh, I know! Marco!"

"…"

"DAMN IT, SARAH! SAY POLO!" Gaara ordered. A tall and very pretty girl dressed up in Lolita walked passed Gaara. "Excuse me, but have you seen a very short Naruto with dark brown eyes?" Gaara questioned.

The Lolita girl turned around and smiled sweetly. "Yeah," a deep masculine voice replied.

Gaara's eyebrow twitched. "Oh really? Where'd she go?"

"She went that way." He pointed further down the hall. "Just take a right."

"Thanks." Gaara gave him a fake smile.

"You're welcome." He smiled sweetly and did a curtsy before walking off.

Once he was out of sight, Gaara shuddered and screamed, "That just isn't right!" She sighed and walked down the hall, taking a right like he told her to. "Hmm… How to track down a Sarah. Oh, duh!" Gaara laughed. She inhaled a deep breath before screaming, "DR PEPPER!"

"Dr Pepper?!" she heard a voice scream from behind one of the doors. Gaara blinked and walked over to the door. It looked like it was a janitor's closet. She grabbed the doorknob and opened it. The next thing she knew she was tackled to the ground in a glomp. "OH, TIA-CHAN! I THOUGHT I'D NEVER BE FREE! I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN HERE FOR HOURS AND I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM!" the Naruto cosplayers known as Sarah cried.

"It's only been forty minutes and the bathroom is on the other side of the hall," Tia grumbled.

"Huh?" Sarah looked at her confused.

"Eh, Sarah-chan…" Tia spoke.

"Yeees?" Sarah smiled innocently.

"Would you be so kind to GET OFF OF ME?!" Tia ordered more than requesting. Sarah rubbed the back of her head childishly before getting off. "I thought it would be a bad idea for you, the dark and timid girl, to be Naruto, but no. You're just as dense."

"Awww!" Sarah sulked, lowering her head.

Tia pointed at the door across the hall. "Just go to the bathroom." Sarah saluted her. "At ease, soldier." Sarah smiled and walked to the door. Before entering she looked back at Tia to be sure. "Yeees, Sarah. That's the bathroom." Sarah smiled and walked in without looking at the sign. "Teehee! I didn't say which bathroom that was! Well, at least she's dressed like a boy!" She snickered.

A high-pitched squeal loud enough to shatter glass and make Tia's ears bleed erupted from the bathroom as a red-faced Naruto came running out, covering her eyes. She wasn't looking where she was going and ran straight into the wall before falling backward with her legs flying up in the air.

Tia knew the right thing to do was to apologize and make sure she was okay, but it was just too funny. She clutched her sides laughing as tears fell from her eyes. "There was a Sasuke in there!" Sarah cried. Tia only laughed louder and even started pointing at her. This drew attention and a couple other people figured out what happened and laughed as well.

The Sasuke cosplayers came out and just stared at her. "Freaks." He shook his head and walked away.

"Ah-h! It really is Sasuke! Run, Tia, before his emo presence consumes us!" Sarah jumped up, grabbed Tia's hand, and ran down several hallways.

"Sarah! You're the emo!" Tia wheezed, her asthma catching up with her.

Sarah was breathing heavily, too. "I," she gasped for breath, "am not emo!"

"Liar! You are so emo! You emotionally unstable Skelanimal fanatic, black-knee-high converse wearing, dark and gloomy, girl with the memory of a goldfish, psychopath!" she yelled all in one breath. Tia started coughing and wheezing for air.

"Well!" Sarah sounded offended.

"Sarah, look! It's your man-candy!" Tia pointed behind her.

Sarah turned her head to see a Shippuden Sasuke walking with Orochimaru. "EEEEK!" Sarah screamed and ran in their opposite direction. "Quick, Tia! In here!" Sarah pulled her into a random room. Sarah sighed in relief and tried to lean against the 'wall.' Sarah immediately regretted this, for this 'wall' was not there. Instead, was a flight of stairs that led downwards.

Sarah, being the type to take you down with her, grabbed Tia by the arm and dragged her down the stairs. They both screamed as they stumbled from stair to stair until they stumbled into a… bush?

"What the hell, man?! What the hell?!" Tia screamed. "You!" Tia grabbed Sarah by the shoulders. "What have you done to us?!" She shook her back and forth. Sarah wasn't able to get a word in before someone coughed to get their attention. "Eh?" Tia released Sarah, causing the poor Naruto cosplayer to fall down with swirls in her eyes. "O… M… F… G…"

It seems they stumbled into a campsite, but not just any campsite. Sitting by the fire was Kisame Hoshigaki.

It was then that Tia realized the deep shit they were in, being dressed as two of the Jinjuriki. 'Think, Tia! Think!' Tia pointed off in the distance. "LOOK! A DISTRACTION!" As if that excuse wasn't bad enough, he looked where she was pointing. Tia grabbed Sarah by her feet and dragged her out of the campsite as quickly as possible. Luck wasn't with these girls today. Tia soon discovered that they were at the peak of a very high cliff. Only, it was a moment too late. "EEEK!" Tia fell backwards, dragging Sarah with her. Sarah managed to grab the edge, but having no upper body strength let go in a matter of seconds.

"Shit!" Sarah screamed, shutting her eyes. Only, she wasn't falling. She could feel Tia's hands clinging onto her ankles for her dear life, but she also felt two strong hands holding hers and lifting her up. "Eh?" Sarah opened her eyes to see none other than Kisame pulling her up. He backed up, making Tia have her turn to be dragged across the ground.

The Gaara cosplayer released Naruto from her grip and hugged the ground. "Sweet, sweet ground! How I love thee!" she kissed the ground. "Blah! It's disgusting! Screw you, ground!" She jumped up and started kicking dust up.

Sarah stared at the Kisame for a moment. He hasn't let go of her yet and was about to say something when she wrapped her arms around him and screamed, "MY HERO! I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, MY SAVIOR!" Sarah grabbed his shoulders and jumped upwards, kissing him on the cheek.

"What the hell?!" Kisame pushed her to the ground and rubbed his face furiously. "Ew! Sick!"

Sarah pouted. "My savior regrets rescuing me. Woe is me!" She hid her face behind her hands.

"I told you, you were an emo!" Tia pointed triumphantly. "Huh? Fishstick saved us?!" She clung to his leg tightly.

"Damn it! Why me?!" He kicked his leg back and forth to get her off. In return Tia bit his leg. "Ah!"

Sarah still sulked on the ground, hiding her face behind her hands.

"Having problems, Kisame?" a familiar voice asked from not too far away.

"Itachi! Ha, you're just in time." Kisame smirked. "I caught two in one day, and by myself!"

Itachi sighed, obviously annoyed. "Kisame, I expected better out of you. Neither of them are a Jinjuriki."

"Yes they are! Just look! We've been hunting the Kyuubi brat forever now!" Kisame lifted Naruto up by her shirt and pulling her closer. Her eyes glistened as she glomped him again.

"SAVIOR!" she squeed.

Kisame pushed her to the ground again, with one hand this time.

"Why does thou reject me?!" Naruto curled up in a ball and rocked back and forth, sulking.

"You made Naruto emo! You bastard!" Gaara threw her gourd at him. It didn't make it far as a breeze caught it and drug it off in another direction. "I knew I shouldn't have made it out of Styrofoam!" She chased after it.

Naruto was still hiding her face against her knees, rocking back and forth and mumbling something about how her life is nothing but an annoyance to others.

Kisame looked at Itachi with an irritated look. "I leave you alone to find food for five minutes and all hell breaks loose," Itachi spoke calmly as if nothing was wrong.

"So these aren't the Jinjuriki? Then who are they?!" Kisame turned to glare at the Gaara skipping towards Naruto with her gourd in her arms.

"I caught it!" she cheered happily. "Huh?" She looked down at the depressed and gloomy Naruto. A smirk made its way to her lips as she bent down and poked her in the side. Naruto squealed, jumping several feet in the air. The moment her feet touched the ground she sent a death glare to Gaara and chased her. "Ah, shit," Gaara mumbled before running behind Itachi. "Make yourself useful and hide me!"

"Permission to kill them?" Kisame asked.

Gaara flinched from behind Itachi at the word kill. "If you kill me, I'll haunt you and your children and your children's children for an eternity!" she screamed dramatically. "I'll even be your personal escort to hell!" she said with flames in her eyes and a demonic smile. A hand smacked her upside the head. "Owie! What was that for?!" She glared at Naruto.

"Don't speak of hell so lightly!" Naruto screamed, being the Christian girl.

Gaara giggled and started singing Mama by My Chemical Romance. "Mama, we all go to hell!" she sang.

Naruto pulled back her arm and then punched Gaara hard in the face, sending her backward. "Don't speak that way!"

Gaara landed spread-eagle on the ground, not moving. "Hm?" Naruto poked her forehead, trying to get a response. "Gaara?" Naruto's eyes began to water. "No, don't do this to me! Don't leave me! I'm sorry!" Naruto cried dramatically.

Gaara groaned. "You…"

"Gaara?" Naruto stared down at her.

"You PUNCHED ME?!" Gaara shot up and tackled Naruto to the ground. While Gaara was busy screaming and shaking Naruto back and forth, Itachi and Kisame were discussing what to do with them.

"Who do you think put them up to this? Whoever did it knows what we're after. That's not a good sign," Kisame sighed.

Itachi walked up to Gaara, facing her back. He pulled her away from Naruto before she killed her. He sat her on the ground by Kisame. Gaara crossed her arms to pout. Kisame walked over to the Naruto and looked down at her. She seemed to be unconscious. He bent down and grabbed her by the front of her jacket, lifting her up.

"You, pervert! Trying to feel her up while she's unconscious?! How dare you!" Gaara yelled.

"She?" Kisame sent Gaara a questioning glance.

"Well, duh! Guys don't squee and kiss their saviors!" Gaara screamed with her hands on her hips. Kisame didn't realize he was still holding Naruto by the front of her shirt. It took a kick to his shin from Gaara to let go of her, causing her to fall to the ground like a rag doll.

Gaara grabbed a stick and started poking Naruto in the cheek with it. She started giggling and poking her faster until Naruto grabbed the stick and threw it at her.

"My face! My beautiful face!" Gaara rubbed her face without realizing she was smearing her eyeliner all over.

Naruto broke out laughing to the point tears came out. "Now you really look like a raccoon!"

Gaara blinked and looked at her hands. They were covered in black eyeliner. Her eye twitched with annoyance. "It took me three hours to perfect my makeup!" she yelled pulling out five liquid eyeliner pencils as proof.

"Wow… I just used a sharpie to draw my whiskers," Naruto mumbled.

"You realize that'll take more than a week to come off, right?" Gaara questioned, her face still black from the smeared eyeliner.

"Who are you really?" Itachi questioned.

"Oh, I forgot you were there." Naruto smiled sheepishly. Gaara face-palmed herself. Naruto pulled her spiky, blonde wig off, revealing her auburn hair. She removed the clip, allowing her hair to fall down to its normal mid-back length. Her dark brown eyes, which were not very noticeable with her bangs, looked down at her jacket as she removed it. "I'm sick of sticking out like a sore thumb. Orange just screams shoot me."

"Well, don't start stripping! They don't even have singles!" Gaara snickered. Sarah blushed and sent a glare in her direction. "Hey! You got that one! Good job! Your innocence is being corrupted!"

Kisame looked at the Gaara cosplayer strangely.

"It's quite simple really. She's extremely innocent from being sheltered all her life while I am a major pervert. So she doesn't get half- or should I say any of the jokes I make." She laughed at Sarah. "Well, I guess I can't say she's completely innocent being a fan of bloody and gory movies." Gaara went into deep thought.

"You know you can remove your wig now?" Sarah said, still sitting on the ground.

"Oh yeah." Tia removed her Gaara wig and pulled her brown hair out of her bun, allowing it to fall to her lower back. She smirked evilly. "Hey, Sarah…" She put her finger up to her eye to remove the Gaara contacts.

Sarah screamed, covering her face. She was terrified of seeing people touch their eyes or pull down their eyelids. She even had to be held down when she was forced to go to the eye doctor just so they could get the drops in her eyes.

Tia laughed and put the contacts in her contact case. Her now brown eyes shown at the torture she caused her friend.

Itachi narrowed his eyes impatiently. "You never answered me."

"Hm?" Tia turned to face him.

"Who are you really?" Itachi repeated.