It had all started with that trip to Vegas. It had all been swell up to that point. He was intelligent, had a beautiful girlfriend with parents that had great connections in the medical world, was number one in his graduating class at high school; was top in many of his class at Dartmouth University, and he had a promising future as a doctor ahead of him.
One weekend in March, his friends wanted to take him with them on their annual trip to Vegas. Every year they went to party it up, get girls to do things for them that their girlfriends wouldn't, and overall, just to have a good time. And every year that they asked our little prodigy Toshiro, they received a swift NO and a boot out of his apartment. Who even knew why they still asked the party-pooper. Something about this year was different though.
When they hesitantly went up to ask him, they did not receive the normal treatment they had gotten each year previous. This time, there was a devious glint in his jade green eyes and a smirk on his face. The answer: "Sure guys, why not?" And those were the words that sentenced him to his fate, forever as a bag boy.
"Toshy-hunny!" the voice whined obnoxiously. "The kids are being all annoying again today!" Long arms wrapped themselves around his neck as he walked through the front door of their single-wide mobile home, large breasts engulfing the back of his head.
"It's like they expect me to feed them everyday, or something!" the voice continued to whine, the thin arms tightening around his neck.
"Rangiku," he growled, having to go through this everyday with her. "They are growing, living, breathing children that need to be fed every single day. Of course they would be pestering you if you didn't feed them."
He was trying really hard not to turn around and walk back to his dead-end job, where, at least there, he could get some peace and quiet. He sighed heavily as the lithe arms unwound themselves from around his neck.
"Humph, fine then. I'll go walk to KFC and pick up food for these little monsters." Rangiku was about to turn and leave before suddenly a little boy was attached to her leg.
"Mommy! No! Don't leave me!" he sobbed, burying his face into the back of her knee and wrapping his legs around her ankle. It was a sight to behold, most finding it unbelievably adorable and heartwarming that the little boy was so attached to his mother. Unless, that is, you had to deal with this at least three times a day every time you tried to leave the small trailer, even if it was just to go and sit out on one of the plastic lawn chairs that littered the Happy Trails Mobile Home Park.
Like this morning, when Toshiro was trying to leave for work. He was just about out the door, no sign of the little dark-skinned boy anywhere.
That was when he felt an extra 38 pounds added to his right leg and a string of, "No! Daddy! Don't leave me!"
He looked down and scowled. 'Great. This is not going to be easy.'
"Please daddy! I wuv you! Don't goooo!" the little five year old sobbed, clinging onto Toshiro's leg for dear life.
He glared down at the crying boy. "How many times do I have to tell you? I am not your fa-"
Cue angry glare from the busty woman that was leaning against the doorway of their bedroom. He took a deep breath.
"I mean," he glanced back down to the boy staring up at him with tear-rimmed eyes, "I love you too, Tousen. Daddy is just going to work for a few hours and will be back later tonight. Okay?" He patted the boy's corn rowed head.
Tousen seemed to mull this over for a second before hopping up and skipping away with an, "Okay! C'ya later daddy!"
It was an everyday ordeal that they had eventually come to terms with. He would grow out of it eventually, right? And at least the other five children didn't do it.
________________
Rangiku leaned over to pat the boy's head lovingly, her breasts almost spilling out of the tight midriff top that she was wearing. "It's okay, baby. If you want, you could even come with me! Why don't you go and get your brother to come along with us," she cooed, helping the boy up from his place around her lower leg.
"Which one?" he asked innocently.
"The emo one," Toshiro said while flipping through the mail they had gotten today. "He could use some sunshine…and a girlfriend, but the sunshine will do for now."
Rangiku glared at him menacingly, but he didn't seem to notice because he would have needed to crane his neck to see her face anyways. With the good two foot height difference and all. Tousen had a puzzled look on his face as he tried to decipher what 'emo' meant. Toshiro glanced over at him as he noticed the boy had yet to move.
He sighed, "The extremely white one that looks like he is a girl."
The light bulb went off in Tousen's head as he finally understood who it was that they were talking about. He ran off into the second and final bedroom only to come out dragging a frustrated Ichigo by the wrist. His long orange hair was pulled back into an intricate bun and he had on one of his twin sister's black miniskirts.
Toshiro did a face-to-palm movement, not at all surprised by the mix-up.
"No, Tousen. Not that one, but the other one."
Ichigo scowled at his father, huffing and spinning around to stomp back into the small bedroom he had been dragged out of. Tousen ran back in the room before his older brother, this time coming out dragging the right brother along with him.
"What the hell do you guys want this time?" he asked emotionlessly.
"Ulqui, momma wants us to go and get food with her!" Tousen exclaimed energetically.
"Yeah vampire boy, go out and face the demon that is the sun," Toshiro added as he opened up one of the many bills that were stacking up on the table beside the door.
Ulquiorra crossed his arms over his chest, but his expression didn't change from that of sheer boredom. "Whatever you wish, oh mighty short one."
Toshiro looked up at him with a murderous glint in his eyes. No one ever called him short and got away with it. Rangiku saw what was coming and immediately grabbed her two sons by the shoulders, pushing them out the door.
"Well, we'll be back shortly- I mean real soon!" she exclaimed shutting the door behind her and racing down the front steps of their mobile home, chest rising and falling with each step.
Toshiro opened the door quickly and yelled before they were out of earshot, "Let's see how cocky you are after I read the tale of woe and misery that is your diary! Maybe I'll even get it published!"
Ulquiorra's eyes visibly widened, thinking, 'Oh shit, this guy's not messing around. He might even read the part about-' He then composed his face again and flipped Toshiro the bird yelling back, "Fuck you too, dad!"
Toshiro was seething. He laughed a little though when Rangiku smacked Ulquiorra upside the head for being such an ass.
'Ah, that kid is gonna get the shit beat out of him some day…and it is probably going to be courtesy of moi.'
He watched as they made their way out of the mobile home park, snickering a little as his wife got her ass smacked by the pervy old guy at the end of the street, Yamamoto; and when Ulquiorra and Tousen both got cheeks pinched by Yoruichi, who had Soi Fon's carefully trained eye watching over her every move.
He was a little surprised, as he watched them round the corner out of the trailer park, that Ukitake didn't come out and offer candy to his sons like he did everyday to him on his way to work.
'Eh, the people around here are so weird,' he thought absently to himself.
He leaned against the railing on what the constituted as a porch, ignoring the loud groaning of the cheap old wood as he people watched.
He looked over to where his neighbor Gin Ichimaru lived. He noticed that the silver haired man was out on his "lawn" with Toshiro's son Izuru. Gin leaned in close to Izuru and kissed him chastely on the lips.
Toshiro turned over to look at his other neighbor, Ken- "Whoa! Wait! What?!" he exclaimed turning back just as he heard the wood of the railing crack and give way to his slight weight, Toshiro tumbling a total of three feet to the weed ridden ground below.
He lay there dazed for a moment before remembering that he had just seen his twelve-year old son getting kissed by a 27 year old man. He shot up and looked around, not spotting either his son or his pedophile-ish neighbor. Maybe it was just his overactive imagination.
"I have to lay off of the late night Monster binges…" he muttered to himself as he walked in the front door, not really wanting to know what his neighbors were doing anymore.
A/N: So, umm yeah. I know that this chapter wasn't that amazing, but I didn't know where to start without introducing all the characters and having a big random jumbled mess on my hands XD
If you caught it, yes Rangiku and Toshiro have 6 children XD I only introduced 4 of them though. Errr a lot more of characters to come and I'm not quite sure how to organize it yet, but thoroughly looking forward to writing it. Oh, and yes, Ichigo is a cross dresser. Feel free to try and guess who his twin is X3
I dedicate the biggest virtual chocolate chip cookie in the universe to my friend, xXxyaoixluverxXx, who gave me a lot of inspiration/ideas for this fic. You deserve it, just don't eat it all at once.
REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS! Gotta love 'em, so please leave them and you can get a virtual cookie too!