Chapter One – Ready or Not

People say make lemonade out of lemons, but I figure, why do that when you can squirt them in people's eyes and make them cry. My life has been one long ride of lemons…squeezed in people's eyes.

I can't say it's been boring but I figured all that squeezing acid (weak acid) into people's eyes has finally come to bite me on the arse. The day was just like any other day.

Reneesme, my little twerp of a sister (only four years younger then me) decided I needed a lovely guy to bright up my oh soo gloomy dark existence. Yo ho, and behold, she set me up with Jacob, our oh so jailbait, family friend.

Don't get me wrong, great kid, not so great if I enjoy my freedom. And believe me orange jumpsuits just aren't good with my skin tone.

I'd like to say this was like any normal date but alas, it cannot be so.

Jake was forty minutes late and wearing a Nickleback shirt, jeans and converse to a high end restaurant, I think Ren forgot to mention that Bella Italia, isn't McaDonalds and who the hell likes Nickleback still?!

I wish I could stop there and say it all went swell, but no…it gets worse…

You see Jake is an ungainly teenager who has got about the same co-ordination as me. None.

I got up, he leaned down to kiss my cheek and need less to say, he got a lovely look down my shirt and was introduced to the twins.

Oh, but it can only get better from here, right? WRONG.

We ordered our food, made polite conversation, before Jake excused himself and ran straight into another server carrying a tray of food, it all happened in slow motion.

My nude coloured dress was clean and my plate was empty and in matter of seconds my dress had meatballs and spaghetti strewn all over it and my empty plate had, what I can only assume, was half a salad and chicken.

I picked a meat ball out of my hair and ate it…

"The spaghetti is a little dry."

The only solace I had, whilst taking a cab back to my apartment complex, was that the guys were coming over to watch a football match today.

"… So I'd like one supreme pizza, two cheese pizzas and one pepperoni and cheese," I had mates coming over for a football match. The lady on the phone told me what my total was plus the delivery fee and hung up.

I brought out the beer and placed it on the coffee table, along with chips.

BUUUZZZZ

"Damn that was fast," I buzzed the pizza boy up without asking who it was. My mistake, I've become far too trusting these days. There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Two seconds!" I called out putting the last of the snacks on to the coffee table.

I finally got to the door only to hear a baby wail, I thought nothing of it until I opened the door. No pizza man was there; I checked left and right of the corridor, but there was that high pitched wail again so I looked down. Behold, to my surprised was a baby…

"Oh they sooo fucked up my order, if I don't get free pizza, someone is going to fucking die," I growled but took the kid inside anyway.
I wasn't too keen on figuring out the gender of the baby who was insistently wailing. However, it had a nice set of moss green eyes and a shock of copper hair.

"Look kid, I don't do well with crying… Like at all," but it continued.

So much for being diplomatic.

"I'll buy you a car if you stop crying," I smiled, but no luck, the baby stared at me and cried louder making my ears bleed.

I wasn't the fondest person of kids, I picked it up at arms length, this reminded me of the first time I picked up my little, harebrained, annoying, twat of a sister…. She spat up all over me. This day just wasn't my fucking day.

And this went no better, I stared down at my soiled clothes, "this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship," I commented dryly, the kid beamed at me.

Hey guys! Let me know if I should continue or just give up!

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Love B