Matters of the Broken Heart
By Luke Skywalker
Being a bitch is not cool. Seriously, you don't just leave someone and not tell them why and if you'll be back. Even more so when you're dating, hello. Anyways, for this reason and for many others, I have decided to find Callista...and kill her.
Now I'm pretty sure that Mara will be most displeased and Leia will most likely die of confusion, but some of those chances you have to take. After all, these are matters of a broken heart. And things as such should not be taken lightly.
I left that day, it was cold and rainy...or was it sunny and warm? In any case, I forget the exact weather conditions but hey, no body says I have to member that! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! I departed in my X Wing, because I'm moronic like that. You'd think a guy like me could do better. But no! Anywho!
So Yeah, I took off in that stupid X-Wing of mine and got this gay message from Mara. I checked it because I love her so, and this has nothing to do with the story, but it was interesting.
"Luke, pick up some milk on your way home, because the milk you put in the pantry is spoiled." She told me.
I didn't mean too, I was still half asleep. But this isn't part of the story. I made a mental note that after I murdered Callista, I'd pick up some milk. My first logical place to stop was Chad III, cuz duh, that's her home planet.
So I set on a course for Chad III. When I arrived, guess who I found. Bet you'll never guess. It was a pimp! Apparently, this pimp used to be Callista's boss after she was fired from Hooters because she was flat. This was the only job she could get, a cheap street whore. Guess former Jedi don't have many job opportunities! Anyway, the pimp told me where I could find her.
I found her all right. Standing there on the corner with a big ball in her cheek. I found out later that the ball was a gumball. This is what she spends her .50 cents she gets on whoring. She liked to pretend they were my balls. So, I strode up all natural like and I said:
"Hey!"
"Luke?!" she said.
"That's my name, anyway, I'm going to kill you now, so if you have an objections, state them now." I said.
"Well, umm," Callista started.
But I thought we'd said all that needed to be said and sliced her head clean off. The next part was pretty gross, her head laid there blinking for awhile, than it stopped. That was creepy. Then, I took the body and put it in a dumpster, stole the $3.00 worth of quarters in her pocket and took off for Coruscant.
I picked up the milk, gave Mara a kiss on the mouth, we had sex and that's the end of that chapter.
~Luke Skywalker
Ps: That was a nice dream...sorry to all you Callie fans. Anyway, she isn't really dead, and I probably won't really kill her. But it was a lovely dream for a dream.
By Luke Skywalker
Being a bitch is not cool. Seriously, you don't just leave someone and not tell them why and if you'll be back. Even more so when you're dating, hello. Anyways, for this reason and for many others, I have decided to find Callista...and kill her.
Now I'm pretty sure that Mara will be most displeased and Leia will most likely die of confusion, but some of those chances you have to take. After all, these are matters of a broken heart. And things as such should not be taken lightly.
I left that day, it was cold and rainy...or was it sunny and warm? In any case, I forget the exact weather conditions but hey, no body says I have to member that! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! I departed in my X Wing, because I'm moronic like that. You'd think a guy like me could do better. But no! Anywho!
So Yeah, I took off in that stupid X-Wing of mine and got this gay message from Mara. I checked it because I love her so, and this has nothing to do with the story, but it was interesting.
"Luke, pick up some milk on your way home, because the milk you put in the pantry is spoiled." She told me.
I didn't mean too, I was still half asleep. But this isn't part of the story. I made a mental note that after I murdered Callista, I'd pick up some milk. My first logical place to stop was Chad III, cuz duh, that's her home planet.
So I set on a course for Chad III. When I arrived, guess who I found. Bet you'll never guess. It was a pimp! Apparently, this pimp used to be Callista's boss after she was fired from Hooters because she was flat. This was the only job she could get, a cheap street whore. Guess former Jedi don't have many job opportunities! Anyway, the pimp told me where I could find her.
I found her all right. Standing there on the corner with a big ball in her cheek. I found out later that the ball was a gumball. This is what she spends her .50 cents she gets on whoring. She liked to pretend they were my balls. So, I strode up all natural like and I said:
"Hey!"
"Luke?!" she said.
"That's my name, anyway, I'm going to kill you now, so if you have an objections, state them now." I said.
"Well, umm," Callista started.
But I thought we'd said all that needed to be said and sliced her head clean off. The next part was pretty gross, her head laid there blinking for awhile, than it stopped. That was creepy. Then, I took the body and put it in a dumpster, stole the $3.00 worth of quarters in her pocket and took off for Coruscant.
I picked up the milk, gave Mara a kiss on the mouth, we had sex and that's the end of that chapter.
~Luke Skywalker
Ps: That was a nice dream...sorry to all you Callie fans. Anyway, she isn't really dead, and I probably won't really kill her. But it was a lovely dream for a dream.