Hi there, everyone! I am so sorry for my lack of writing! It's been a rough year, and the motivation just hasn't been there. Life happens, I guess. I know I need to update my other stories, and I will, but this demanded to be written. This is based on something I'm going through right now, and putting it on paper helped me get through it. As usual, this won't be all sunshine and roses. Please review, and let me know if I should continue this or leave it as a oneshot. Love to you all! ^mwah^
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot – the characters and song belong to their respective owners!
Tears filled Bella's eyes as she took in the words on her computer screen: "Do I know you?" She felt as though she'd been kicked in the chest. It serves her right, though, for trying to go backwards…and that's precisely what she was doing.
She'd been feeling lonely of late, since all her college friends had graduated and moved away; her co-workers treated her politely and professionally, but she really missed having friends that she didn't make online.
So, while logged into Facebook, she typed in the name of one of the two only friends she'd made in grade school: Jessica Stanley. She'd done this several times before over the past year; it had been a particularly difficult year for her, and she found herself wanting to reach out to people she no longer kept in contact with.
But this time was different…for three very different reasons. First, it was January 1st, a day meant for new beginnings and taking chances. Second, she'd promised herself to try and not be afraid to open herself to both new people and those she already knew. Third, unlike the last few times she'd looked up Jessica's page, the option to 'add' Jessica as a friend was on her page.
So, instead of looking at the pictures Jessica let non-friends see, she decided to take a chance and send her a friend request. The second she clicked the button, though, her stomach began to twist and she began to feel anxious and panicked.
What if she rejects it? What if she doesn't remember me? She's not like me…I know she's had more than 2 school friends in her life. Why did I do that?! God, I feel so stupid now. She messaged her best friend, Angela Chaney, and told her everything.
Bella: So, what do you think? Am I an idiot for sending it? Should I have messaged her first? I mean, it's been over 10 years since I've seen her.
Angela: First off, you need to stop and take a breath, girl. I can just picture you hyperventilating while you typed that last message. Now that I know you're not going to pass out, here's some advice: Chill. Out.
Bella: Hey! I was not hyperventilating! Well…maybe I was breathing faster…but that's not the same thing! And you'd be freaking if you were me too, missy. ^narrows eyes^
Angela: ^scoffs^ Yeah…whatever you say. Just listen, okay? I get that this is important for you, but don't put so much attention into this girl. Like you said, you guys haven't talked to this chick in like a decade, so if she says no, it's not the end of the world. But, if she does say no, I don't think I want you hanging out with a stupid girl like that.
Bella: ^smiles^ How did I get so lucky as to get such an awesome friend as you? I always thought there was something wrong with me, 'cause I can count on one hand the number of 'real friends' I've had in my whole life.
Angela: Our man brought us together, you know that. So you can thank your fabulous taste in hot, bad boy vampires. ^smirks^
Bella: ^giggles^ You did our beloved Damon proud with that smirk, Ang. ^gasps^ She messaged me! I'm going to see what she said!
Angela: ^waits patiently^
Bella: Ha! You? Patient? ^snickers^
Angela: Just read it already!
The tears that had gathered in Bella's eyes slid down her cheeks as she took in the words of one of her only childhood friends, who had apparently forgotten her. I guess I wasn't important enough to remember. She dropped her head, letting her long, mahogany hair cover her face.
She heard the ping of a new message and closed her eyes, knowing it was Angela. She looked up, and sure enough, there was her friend.
Angela: So? How'd it go? What'd she say? Do I need to mark my territory as the BFF? LOL
Bella couldn't even find it in herself to smile, let alone laugh, at her friend's joke. She felt so hurt, and tired, and stupid. Jessica had always been pretty, and popular, and fashionable, whereas Bella had been plain, her only friends were her book heroines, and she got her clothes from the local thrift store. Of course she wouldn't remember me.
Jessica had always been kind to her, not like the 'mean girls' you hear about in movies. Maybe what I thought was friendship, she just thought of as charity work.
Bella: Can we talk tomorrow? I'm tired.
Angela: Oh no. What happened? ^hugs^ I love you honey, and you're such a beautiful, kind person and wonderful friend. Never forget that!
Bella scoffed. Me? Beautiful? Yeah, right. Maybe we've never met, but she's seen my pictures. Beautiful is not a word I'd use to describe myself at any age. But she thanked God for Angela's friendship – without it, she didn't know where she'd be.
Bella: Tomorrow. Please. I don't want to talk anymore.
Angela: Okay, B. Just remember that I'm here if you change your mind. I don't know what you're feeling right now, but just think of all we've accomplished, and overcome. One stupid girl isn't worth your tears, and she damn sure shouldn't make you feel bad.
Bella: ^smiles sadly and nods^ Night.
Bella sighs and flinches and laughs as a furry head peeks over the top of her laptop, which is resting on her thighs. "Meow."
"Hey there, Blake. Have you come to cheer Mommy up?" she asks as she shuts the lid of her laptop. "Meow." "Aw, aren't you just my sweet little baby boy." Bella places her laptop on the nightstand beside her bed, and picks Blake up and snuggles him into her chest as he nuzzles her neck, purring.
She was enjoying this unexpected show of affection, until he started squirming and meowing. With a sigh, she released him, and stood up to pull back the covers, climb into the bed, and turn on her side, before reaching upwards to turn off the lamp on her nightstand.
As she got comfortable, she felt Blake walk around her and lay down beside her. She brought her arm down to pet his head as she reached for her iPhone and plugged it into the iHome on her nightstand.
She'd learned long ago that having a cord charge her phone at night and having her cat sleep with her weren't things that went together – Blake liked to chew on cords. "Good night, Blake. I love you more the life, my sweet boy. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama and for making my life so wonderful. I'd be lost without you."
She clicked the 'play' button on the iHome, and continued petting Blake, and enjoying the occasional lick on her hand, while the sounds of Natasha Bedingfield lulled her to sleep.
I feel these four walls closing in Wild horses I wanna be like you I see the girl I wanna be
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
So, what do you guys think? Yay or nay? Leave me your thoughts! Psst…reviews help me update faster. ^shrugs^ Just sayin'. See you all next time!