"When the Smiles Stopped"
Magic, it is the ability to control and wield the elements. The ability to perform show-stopping miracles and bedazzle the little children within the compound. To some, it was the flow of magic that kept them alive for as long as they did. A gift from the heavens they would say
It was more like a curse.
Trees decorated the garden in which she sat, knees on the cold stone walkway, porcelain silk dress in a harried mess catching petals from trees planted in her name among many others his clan, their clan would soon come to admire.
Silently bowing, incense slowly filling her nostrils. It was a ritual she was all too familiar in the past decade. Only a full ten years since that day. The day she could overhear whispering from the elders calling it 'The day the sun cease to rise every morning".
The day the smiles stopped.
It had been a beautiful day, it started off as a beautiful day. She had awaken just like any other day to find herself in his arms wrapped about her possessively but yet, still caringly. She had awoken before him and that on its own was unusual but she thought nothing of it. He just seemed so, tired these past few weeks. "It's Nothing" he would say.
But it was far from nothing
She could remember that day because it would be forever engraved on her soul until the very end of time itself. She crept out of bed slowly feeling cold and empty and so she traversed the hallways to find the clan's servants waiting on them, as always tea and a bite were her morning errands. She remembered draining her cup and objecting when the servants offered to wash the dishes. She gracefully ascended the stairs with his meal in hand. She quite carefully opened the door slowly and her eyes were filled with the beauty of flowering plants outside their window, but yet something was still empty, something was still out of place. She strolled over with the tray in hand over the mound still buried in green cloths. Taking one hand from the tray she placed it on his cheek adoringly.
The tray shook violently against the floor and the elegant teacup smashed before she even knew she let it go.
Cold, no feeling, no sensation but the numbing blood that was flowing in rivers to her eyes. She felt such a river beginning to flow from her irises and was paralyzed without words. To any outsider it would seem she was without thoughts and that was what they thought exactly when they entered the room to see what the commotion was. She was however, far from being thoughtless.
A drop destined on the stone floor landed itself on a dried pink petal and its withered fibers burst with life. If only that were true, because the days, the weeks, the years later she would have shed enough tears to revive an ocean of green cloths and brown eyes that she would never see again.
The incense pyres burnt out and she lit a freshly new handful and set it down in the urn, bowing three times then gazing on the words engraved on the stone face, words he wanted set in stone for her to remember.
"Nothing is lost until it is forgotten" And she would read it everyday. Amazed by the pain brought by no words engraved in stone, no words left on any yellowing paper that tucked underneath a pillow every night, but the words she wanted to say.
It is amazing that in all the words in the history of mankind, it's the words left unsaid that hurt the most.
Nobody to be comforted by, her brother wasn't here to ruffle her hair like he did when her father left. No camera-happy best friend to cry in her lap when even the hair ruffling stopped. Not even a mess of brown locks to confide in when the libraries of tapes was finally concluded.
The only mother she ever knew had left right them both, just after her marriage and acceptance into the clan. A lovebird left behind by a mate, loses its will to continue and move on until they are re-united again. She had only existed on this plane of human understanding long enough to see her son would be alright. Living amongst stories that even she, the stoic and stone-faced embodiment of nobility once smiled and laughed.
She knew how she felt. She knew there was a day when her smiles stopped.
A pink petal once bursting with moist life, shriveled on her long dress from the salty drop of temporary happiness.
She stood with as much grace as she could under the concerned eyes she felt behind her. Blinking away the tears and gathering all the petals from her attire and blowing them into the wind. She couldn't bear to see him saddened; she couldn't bear to live without him.
He was slightly shorter than her, much younger but with the same strong complexion that reminded her of her first and only trueReminding herself that it was the past, he would want her to be happy and so she did her best to care for him although he would never fill the permanent space by her side.
She turned around and stared at him, because that's why she loved him, because he looked so much like him. Graceful in the way he bowed to her, his leader and matriarch of the clan even though she insisted it wasn't necessary. Arm reached out to escort her but never to fill the gap.
"Li-sama, we have clan matters to discuss and it is needed that you be there to lead the council."
She nodded with acknowledgement but with feet still planted to the floor. She could see him circling around her now, eyeing her with concern.
" Okaa-San? Daijoubu?"
That's why she lived. That look and that determination to acquire strength. That's why she loved him, so much like his father. And that's why he would be leaving to Japan. His fierce determination to bring honor to his family, to her. But that's why she agreed to send him, not to acquire strength, but to learn true strength and bring back something far more valuable then he would ever imagine.
"Mm, hai"
She opted to hold his hand, ten years old and ready to learn the most valuable experience he will ever know.
She looked down towards him…
…and smiled.