I do NOT own Kim Possible
Situated soon after Ron and Kim became a couple. In the story it's close to the end of October.
The Angst of a Drama King
"Why him?" the blonde-haired teenager ranted, tossing his game controller to the floor as he rose to stalk around his dimly-lit bedroom with a furious scowl on his face. "Why him?" Ron Stoppable demanded again. The angst-driven boy, who was better known to some as the Buffoon, and to others as Kim Possible's sidekick, tore at his hair. "Arrgghh," he screamed.
"I win," came the excited reply of a certain naked mole rat by the name of Rufus. The tiny rodent hit the reset button, and waited for his tormented master to start another game.
Having stomped around the room a few times, and for lack of anything better to do, the blonde dropped to the floor beside his friend, and picked up the game controller for the umpteenth time of the night. Teeth clenched, he pounded on the buttons for several seconds before he threw the device to one side again, and rose to stalk around the unmade bed. "Why him?" he fumed again.
"Looks?" suggested the naked mole rat, as he won another victory against his distracted foe. "I win," he squeaked in rather fluent English for a rodent.
"Aarrghh," was the only reply.
"Money," Rufus suggested, hitting the reset button. Clearly this night he was going to set a new record for beating his master at Zombie Mayhem, Return of the Zombie Queen III.
"Aarrgghh." Obviously Ron Stoppable didn't like the naked mole rat's answer.
"Car?" Rufus suggested, still trying to be helpful.
"Aarrgghh," was the only response from the frustrated teen.
"Manners?" Rufus, hoping for another quick victory, wasn't paying any heed to his master at all.
"Whose side are you on?" Ron demanded, glaring down at the pink rodent who was still focused on the game display, with the controller somehow miraculously held in its tiny pink paws.
"Popular?" Rufus pondered, glancing at the other controller that was still lying on the floor. "Game?" he squeaked.
"What are you? A Mankey fan?" the less than pleased boy asked, picking the rodent up by the tail to stare him in the eye.
"Hot?" pondered the little guy aloud.
"Aarrgghh," Ron growled again, clenching his teeth. "I'll give you hot," he added, sitting beside an ancient computer. Slowly it booted, and eventually connected to the internet, assuming one could call 2kb/sec connected. While waiting, the unhappy boy wondered how many times he'd heard Kim Possible call Josh Mankey just that, hot.
"Huh." Rufus pondered his master's actions.
"Let's see," Ron mumbled to himself when the screen finally lit up, showing he was now online. "I wonder. What are some recipes for naked mole rats?" There was the sound of clunky key being slowly tapped on the keyboard.
"Uh oh," the tiny rodent exclaimed. "Ron. No!" he added, eyes staring at his master in dread.
"Not much that doesn't involve an open fire and herbs from East Africa," murmured the boy, focusing on the bleary type being displayed on a monitor that crackled and popped dangerously.
"Whew." Rufus wiped some imaginary sweat from his brow.
"But I can improvise," Ron told him. "Hrm. I like Crispy Chicken Leg Confit with Couscous and Olives, so how about we try Naked Mole Rat Confit with Couscous and Olives?" he asked, looking down at the trembling bundle of pink. "You're about same size as a chicken leg."
"Ron. No." The frantic little guy looked around, swallowing nervously as he sought an escape route that led anywhere but the kitchen.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
"What now?" sighed the weary boy, his bout of rage having drained him. "Sorry little guy," he added, letting the relieved rodent drop to the floor, and patting him on the head. "How about we not say good things about Josh Mankey? Okay?" he asked.
"Okay," squeaked Rufus, who raced under the bed to seek the Kimmunicator that'd been tossed there in a frenzy by a heart-broken Ron several days before.
"Let's not answer it," Ron told him as he dragged the device free of the clutter that always lurked under every teenage-boy's bed.
"Important," came the squeaked reply.
"Yeah. Right." Ron took the battery from the Kimmunicator and tossed both back under the bed again. "Good riddance," he added.
Rufus stared, looking puzzled. "Important?" he squeaked again.
Both of them froze as a gleeping sound came from under the bed, and the Kimmunicator strolled out from under it, having sprouted what looked like spider legs. Two of the creepy looking limbs held the battery, which it carefully inserted. The display then lit up with the image of a boy who was just a ... tad bit ... overweight. He was drinking a soda through a straw when his eyes focused on Ron. "Hey Ron," he said, putting the diet coke down. "There's an emergency."
"How did the Kimmunicator work without a battery?" The frowning teenager asked. Across the room Rufus was scratching his head, looking puzzled as well.
"Oh. I had an unremovable emergency battery installed the last time I checked them over," the dark-skinned super-genius replied. "It's small, and can't hold much of a charge, but I figured it would have its use."
"Like invading someone's privacy," Ron interrupted. "Battery out means off," he spoke slowly, with a clear hint of anger in voice. "Comprendrer?"
Wade gulped. "But it's an emergency," he insisted. "Kim's in serious trouble."
"So go tell Monkey boy," Ron retorted. "I'm sure he'll rush off to help her with whatever."
"Monkey boy?" Wade pondered the words, looking puzzled. "Monkey Fist? Why would he help her?"
Gritting his teeth, the enraged teen reached down to pluck the battery from the accursed device that bore the name of the girl he loved, or rather used to love.
"Monkey Fist has her," Wade hurried to say, nearly yelping the statement. "And Drakken and Professor Dementor, and Duff Killigan ..."
With a deep sigh, Ron closed the lid to the battery compartment, leaving the super-powerful energy source inside, and looked at the screen. "She went on a mission without me?" he stated, feeling like crying. That if nothing else told him their relationship was over. "Did she take Monkey boy with her? Does he need rescuing too?" There would be nothing more embarrassing and degrading than that, if that's the case, he mused unhappily.
"Monkey boy?" Wade looked confused again. "Why do you refer to Monkey Fist as Monkey boy, and why would he help her?"
"Never mind. What's the sitch?" He cringed as he said the familiar word that reminded him of her.
"Well ..." The super-genius looked a little embarrassed.
"Well what?" Ron prompted.
"She got an email telling her that an old billionaire by the name of Senhorita Trampa Posible was leaving to retire in Florida, and that she was selling off all her Cuddle Buddies at super-low prices," Wade explained with a sigh. "Her mansion where she was holding a Flea Market was in the middle of nowhere, and I suggested to Kim she wait for me to check the area out. It sounded suspicious..." He shrugged helplessly. Clearly his embarrassment wasn't for himself, but for the Cuddle Buddy obsessed girl.
"I see," Ron sighed, shaking his head in disbelief that someone as intelligent as Kim Possible could, at times, be so insanely naive. But it wasn't a mission, he silently thought with a deep sense of relief. She isn't breaking up Team Possible; at least not yet. "And of course the fact that the name of the billionaire was Trap Miss Possible didn't alarm anyone?" he asked a moment later, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
Wade blink. "How did you know that?"
"There are a few Gaelic dishes I like to prepare," the teenage sidekick replied. "Over the years I've picked up a word or two."
"Oh." Wade blinked again, looking baffled.
Any time I know something, or does something without tripping over my own two feet, that's the look he gets on his face, Ron noted. "So what's the sitch?" he asked again.
"It was a trap, obviously." The boy took a quick sip from his soda, and hit a few keys on one the several keyboards that were lying around him. "It seems a number of villains decided to group up and handle her for good." He gulped, with a hint of panic showing in his eyes.
"I can't imagine Drakken and Professor Dementor would work together without some sort of trouble," Ron mused.
"They got a Room of Truth," Wade said, as if it explained everything.
"Room of Truth?"
The genius nodded. "if anyone tries to tell a lie inside it, it gives a warning; there's no way they can try to backstab each other. Seems they each installed a truth machine, so even if they rigged their own in their favor, there would still be three others. From the intelligence I've managed to gather, it was Shego's idea."
"Man. I'm glad she's happy being the sidekick," Ron thought aloud. "If she were to be the head villain ..." He shuddered.
"Agreed," Wade informed him. "But with the truth machines all four of them can work together, and together they're quite a formidable force." The dark-skinned boy sighed. "I wish Global Justice wasn't so overworked." He glanced up at Ron.
Meaning he would trust Will Du with this over me, the slighted boy noted, suppressing a sigh of his own. Together we've never failed a mission, yet ... But I can't blame him. Sure I can fight at times, but it comes and goes; he and Kim have never seen me when I'm at my best, just when I'm tripping over my own two feet. His lips turned down in a frown. Of course, the fact I can run into fifteen or twenty henchmen, and emerge on the other side unharmed should tell them something. Heck, I've even had Shego chase me a few times, and given her a run for her money. "Ride?" he simply asked.
"Be there within the hour," Wade replied.
"Okay." Ron clicked the Kimmunicator off. "You with me in this, little buddy?" he asked Rufus. "Extra cheese tonight if we make it back alive."
"Ummm... Cheese..." The naked mole rat drooled, and went into a daze.
"I'll take that as a yes," Ron told him. "No idea how we're going to pull it off though," he mused with a loud sigh as he paused to think. His brown eyes lit up, and he reached under his bed and, with some effort, pulled out a large box. "Glad it's so close to the Fourth of July," he said, mostly to himself.
Yet, even as he prepared for the coming mission, all the blonde-haired sidekick could see was Kim, in Bueno Nacho, with Josh Mankey's arm around her. She was smiling as she leaned towards Monkey Boy, preparing for a kiss. The imagine tore at his soul, just it had for the last two days. Shaking his head as he sought to force the heart-rending image from his mind, he pulled out another rather shabby looking box, which he'd had since pre-K, and opened it. And they say being a packrat is bad, he mused ruefully to himself.
The Cuddle Buddy Torture
Kim Possible sat in the middle of a large cage, with her fiery eyes focused angrily on a mocking, green-skinned demon.
"Isn't this one cute, Kimmie? Shego asked with a sneer, holding up a plush toy that was a cross between a crocodile and an elephant. In reality, no sane person could've called it cute, yet there were millions of fans of the hideous creations, called Cuddle Buddies, who would've given anything to hold it even for just a few seconds. The super-villainess lit a finger with green plasma, and scorched the silly looking nose of the doll. With a grin she looked to see what affect it would have on the redheaded heroine.
Kim gulped, watching the poor doll being tortured with a fierce anger. In her heart she knew only a monster without a soul could've mutilated the cute CrocoPhant, as that particular marvel of wonder was called. Still, despite her obsession with the toys, her attention was elsewhere.
I really messed up this time, she though ruefully, looking at the bars of the cage. They were surrounded with a faint glow that was tinted a light blue, and caused the air around her to stink of ozone. If she had to guess, she would say they emitted some sort of electro-magnetic field that negated her battlesuit. The enhanced strength it usually gave her was gone, and the material was less flexible. If anything, it would now hinder her in combat.
"Drats,", the girl silently muttered to herself. That the whole setup was a trap had been obvious from the start. The name of the non-existent billionaire had given it away, even to her with her normally blind obsession with Cuddle Buddies. Senhorita Trampa Posible, the irate teenager mused with a grimace. Of course until Wade told me Trampa meant trap, I though it meant tramp, which is something Shego would call me. She would get a kick out of the play on words.
With another tiny sigh the girl considered her actions, regretting her rashness. Over the last several days things between her and her boyfriend hadn't been going well. Ron had wanted to go trick-or-treating, and she'd went ballistic, calling it childish. She still thought it was, but now thought her own outburst had been just as childish. Her best friend since pre-K was anything if reasonable, and they could've talked it out. But she'd had to go on an ego trip, and now they weren't talking. She'd worked up the nerve to apologize to him yesterday, or at least had planned to. Before they'd just been not speaking to each other, but ... She shuddered, recalling the look of hate and misery on her friend's face in class the day before. Something had clearly happened to make the situation worse, and she, the girl who could do anything, had wimped out, deciding to delay the talk until she could think it over. It would've been best to have talked to him, she noted. I have no idea what was bothering him yesterday, just that it had something to do with me. He was hurting, and I fled. Jumping out an airplane with no parachute, no big; talking to my boyfriend who I love more than anything in the world like an adult, so the drama.
When she'd received the email advertising the Flea Market where Cuddle Buddies would be on sale, she'd jumped at the chance. If it really was a sale, then the Cuddle Buddies would've cheered her up; if it was a trap then she'd been in the mood for a good fight. She'd even wore her battlesuit, which wasn't something one normally wore when shopping, in expectation of that fight. That she might be facing four villains, each with their own variety of techno-gizmos, along with Shego and Monkey Fist, hadn't occurred to her. Briefly she glanced at the older woman who was still trying to torment her by destroying one Cuddle Buddy after the other. The villainess sported a bruise around one eye, and had a split lip; despite the odds, Kim had got in a few good blows, but in the end she'd been overwhelmed. One of twenty synthodrones, which her partner in Team Possible would normally have kept occupied, had focused on her, and got in a lucky strike with a stun baton.
The heroine glanced at the entrance, and cringed. While she knew Ron was more skilled on those missions than was apparent, the situation he would be walking into was overwhelming. Since they'd been dating, she'd started to pay more attention to him, and had realized just how much easier he made the missions. Why his tripping over his own two feet, or losing his pants, made the sitch better she didn't know; she just knew it did. A brief smile tugged at her lips, and then just as quickly disappeared. Whatever his skills, he would be walking into a trap set with two skilled martial artists, twenty synthodrone, wall mounted lasers, and a ton of other surprises.
Gnawing at her lower lip, the girl dreaded what she knew was to come. Her boyfriend would walk in the door, and be quickly overpowered. Stay angry at me, and stay at hone, Ron, she silently pleaded. Yet she knew it was only a matter of time before he arrived; it was the type of person he was: loyal and courageous.
"Hey Princes, watch this," Shego smirked at the worried girl.
"Oh shut up, Kermit," Kim Possible retorted, still gnawing her low lip in worry. Nervously she glanced at the door, and prayed her boyfriend had the sense to stay away. One villain, no big deal, but four ... That was overkill. There was no way, she, or him, or the two of them together, could fight their way out of this.
"Pffft," Shego muttered, and sent another Cuddle Buddy to plush toy heaven.