A/N: This is my first fic in three years. It's based on the song, if you didn't already pick up on that, "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars. I hope the flow of this fic doesn't seem strange, as I originally had lyrics in this but later decided against it and took them out. So if that happens to be the case, I apologize. I was considering adding an epilogue to this fic but decided against it. Should readers desire an epilogue then an epilogue they shall receive. I'd love opinions on that! Also, if you don't know the song mentioned within the fic, "The Only Exception" by Paramore, it is amazing and I highly recommend it. Criticism is very much welcome! Enjoy!

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I miss her so much; her laugh, her smile, her voice, her eyes, her everything. She was my everything and I fucked up and lost her.

Pulling the covers up over my head I roll over in our…my enormous bed and let out a low moan. It seems much larger without her in it beside me. Her sweet touch no longer comforts me throughout the night and the privilege of waking up to her beautiful face was lost. There is no silky voice to wake me and there are no chocolate eyes to greet me. I am completely and utterly alone in my too-big bed, filled to the brim with sorrow.

I lay there for hours, refusing to get up and face the reality that is my pathetic life. Some days, I lay there and try to dream. I often dream of her and what our life was like before she left. I dream of her smile, one of my favorite things about her. In my dreams, she smiles that sweet addictive smile and whispers that she loves me. But eventually I have to wake up. Dreaming can only take me from the real world for so long before I am forced to face the hard truth. She isn't mine anymore.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and slowly lift myself up. It is going to be an extremely difficult day. I trudge over to the bathroom for a much need shower, picking up a crumpled piece of paper along the way. The tear stained, torn, wrinkled little paper was enough to tear my world apart when it arrived in my mailbox. A save-the-date to a wedding. Her wedding.

It was the day I would be forced to watch the love of my life be married off to another man.

The radio blares over the sound of the highway rushing by in my convertible. The old Chad Dylan Cooper would have never driven with the top down for fear it would ruin his perfect hair. The new Chad Dylan Cooper, however, doesn't care enough to even bother putting the top up. What do I have left to lose? I've already lost her, why not my perfect hair too?

I am pulling into the parking lot of the venue when the song changes to a soft acoustic guitar strumming an all too familiar tune. It's the song-our song. After a verse or two I am in tears. A hundred thousand memories come flooding back to me. All the times she had begged me to dance with her to our song and all the times I had denied her.

"It's just spinning in slow circles, Chad. It's not complicated." She would say, crossing her arms and sticking out her bottom lip in an adorable pout.

And the few times I obliged and humored her, spinning in those slow circles she loved so much. Every time she would sing along with the beautiful song we shared, her voice a sweet seductive sound. I would hold her tight, close my eyes, and just enjoy her scent, the feel of her hair, the warmth of her body, and the rich tone of her voice. Looking back, I don't know why I ever turned down the opportunity to dance with her. The stupidity of a young proud man.

I sit, slumped over in a miserable heap, in my car, hood up for fear that people may catch sight of me, Chad Dylan Cooper, bawling for no apparent reason. They would think I had gone completely mad. More so than the media claims I am. I sing along, finishing the song, my voice cracking as I go, "You are the only exception/And I'm on my way to believing."

It sounds too different without her voice to join mine. It is a broken and melancholy song now, much different from the love and meaning it once held for me.

Shutting off the ignition and the mocking radio, I attempt to pull myself together. Head held high, sunglasses on to hide my puffy, post-crying eyes, I exit my vehicle and march inside to face the worst day of my life.

Inside the venue a dance floor is set up as well as many tables and chairs, the tables decorated with purple flowers in the center, and the chairs adorned with purple bows. Through several open archways along the back wall there is an outside area where rows of chairs are set up for the ceremony. I weave in and out of the tables-some of which are filled with people socializing-and make my way to the outside area. Once outside, I begin to search for a familiar face. I find said familiar face in the third row.

"Well if it isn't Chad Dylan Pooper?" comes the voice of Nico as I take a seat next to both he and Grady.

"What's up, Randoms?" I ask jokingly, using the old nickname I have for them.

"I'm surprised you made it today, Chad. We thought you wouldn't show because, well, you know…" Nico trails off awkwardly, not wanting to voice the end of his sentence.

"We thought you wouldn't come because you and Sonny broke up two years ago." Grady chimes in obnoxiously, not realizing the inappropriateness of his statement.

Grady's outburst earns him a smack to the arm from Nico. "Dude!" he shouts at him. "Not the time or the place, man."

"It's okay guys. I'm happy for Sonny." I lie to them. "I wouldn't have come if I didn't think I could handle this."

They eye me skeptically and share a look that alerts me to the fact they can easily see through my lie. Nico gives me a sympathetic look and places a hand on my shoulder. "You know, Chad, it's okay if you don't want to be here. You don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. I'm here because I was invited. I really am happy that she found someone who treats her right. I just hope he treats her better than I did." I end sadly. I begin to question whether or not showing up to the love of my life's wedding was a mistake.

A familiar blonde materializes seemingly out of thin air and occupies a chair next to Nico, shooing Grady to the left of her for the seat. He instantly beams at her and plants a quick kiss on her lips.

"Oh, Chad, you're here?" is Tawni's greeting to me.

I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses. "Well, hello to you too, Tawni."

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just, I knew she invited you and all, but I didn't think you would actually come. You're a brave man to be willing to sit through this wedding." She offers me a sincere smile, then leans over Nico and awkwardly pats me on the back of my hand in some strange form of comfort. I pick up on the fact that she still isn't used to comforting others.

"Well, boys," she says, standing up and straightening out her floor length purple bridesmaid's dress, "I must be going now. I have to go help her finish getting ready and I need to reapply my coco-moco-coco."

I watch her kiss Nico once more, this time on the cheek, and feel a pang of jealously at what they have together, knowing I can never that with anyone else. Before disappearing through the doors, Tawni turns to look at me, sincerity and seriousness masking her features. "You know, Chad, I'm pretty sure she is still very much in love with you."

And again, I find myself alone with the two boys, waiting for the dreadful ceremony to start. As the two odd men start up a conversation about the latest videogame, I am only left to ponder the information I was just given. Tawni's words replay over and over in my head. "She is still very much in love with you." It can't possibly be true if she is going through with this wedding. And yet, I feel a tiny spark of hope ignite within me. One logic attempts to douse with water.

As the time passes, the seating area for the ceremony begins to fill with more people. Everyone outside is overflowing with excitement. And everywhere I turn there is someone talking about her. Some discuss how beautiful she is, of which I have no doubt, while others talk about how much talent she has as an actress. The worst people only discuss how wonderful Sonny and What's-His-Face look together. It is becoming unbearable.

"Allison is going to make such a beautiful bride. The groom is one lucky man," an annoying lady in an ugly hate chirps.

Another comments, "They make such a cute couple. They'll be so happy together."

"Sonny is such a sweet girl. She will make such a wonderful life for my boy." I assume this person to be the groom's mother and her words hurt all the same.

It is beginning to be too much for me. Just the very sound of her name is enough to break me anymore. I can't help but feel that if I had been better to her, then it would be me standing at the end of the aisle waiting for her.

I grew up a lot in the past two years since she had left me. It took Sonny leaving for me to realize that I was still the same spoiled, stupid, proud brat that I was when I was a teenager. If I wouldn't have cared more about myself than her, she might've been walking down the aisle to recite her vows to me, not some wannabe loser actor guy.

"I love getting surprised with flowers. It's so thoughtful and romantic." She had murmured to me one evening when we were watching some chick flick.

"Well, maybe I'll surprise you with some." I responded, pulling her closer to me. She giggled with excitement and smiled that ridiculously cute smile.

But I never did buy her those surprise flowers. I was too busy with my career and being wrapped up in all things me that I completely forgot to buy her flowers. Some boyfriend I was.

I recall an instance on a different occasion where we were out walking the streets of L.A. We had just finished lunch and were walking back to our-now my very lonely-apartment when she reached over and grasped my hand. Immediately, the selfish, egotistical, jerkthrob that I was retracted my hand from hers.

She frowned and gazed at me questioningly, hurt evident in her eyes. "What? I can't hold your hand in public?"

"Sorry, baby, but my manager says that a public display of affection between us is bad publicity for me because it upsets my fans."

Her sadness instantly turned to anger. She hitched her purse higher up on her shoulders, crossed her arms and stomped a few feet away from me.

"Walk home yourself, then, you," I could see her searching for a word to call me, "anti-hand-holder!" She snapped at me. Before pulling out her cell phone to dial Tawni for a ride, she turned to me and stated, "And by the way, it's not you your fans are upset with. It's me."

That one stung. A lot. It brought up unpleasant memories of the Amber incident. It was a stupid thing of me to do, but at the time it was what I "had" to do for my fans and my career. I was a complete idiot to choose my career over her.

I should have been around for her more. I should have spent every moment possible with her and treated each as if it was my last. But the fame-hungry workaholic that I was when we were together was too busy filming, or being interviewed, or making appearances somewhere. In my little bubble this wasn't ever a problem. Sonny was always at home waiting for me but that lead role in a new movie or that photoshoot for front page on "Tween Weekly" wasn't. At least, that was the way I viewed it.

One night in particular I had come home very early in the morning after partying all night at some popular young director's house, in hopes he'd cast me in his next movie. When I arrived at our apartment Sonny was up waiting for me.

"Hi, Chad." She greeted me coldly upon my entrance, scaring the absolute crap out of me.

I jumped, hand flying to my chest to calm my racing heart. "Crap, Sonny. You scared the hell out of me."

"Mind telling me what time it is?" she asked, voice still laced with ice.

I glanced at my phone knowing full well that I was in deep trouble. "Uh, three-thirty."

She nodded and stood up from her place on the couch. "And can you explain what you were doing that was so important that you couldn't return home or even call until after three in the morning?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Look, I don't know why you're so upset about this. I was just at this party trying to get a role in a movie. It's not a big-"

Sonny cut me off before I could even finish my sentence. "Of course it's not a big deal, Chad. Of course it's not a big deal to you that I'm here by myself almost every night while you're out there partying or working or doing God knows what. Forgive me for thinking that maybe I was more important than your stupid career."

She turned and stomped out of the room towards the bedroom. She slammed the door as hard as she could, her way of saying, "You're on the couch tonight."

I simply sighed and grabbed some blankets from the hall closet. I knew then that she was right, yet I did very little to fix the problems I caused.

I was busy rehearsing my lines for an episode one evening when Sonny approached me in a short, tight, sexy strapless silver dress. Her hair spilled over her shoulders in dark luscious waves, daring me to run my fingers through it. The script slipped from my hands as my mouth slackened. She was absolutely stunning.

"Hey baby." She smiled her full red lips at me, eyes twinkly as she did so.

"Whoa," was my genius response.

Her smile simply broadened. I admired her as she turned and posed for me, pretending to be nonchalant. "You like? I found this just lying around in the closet."

I nodded enthusiastically. "CDC like."

She wrapped her arms around me from behind and whispered seductively, her lips brushing my ear as she did, "Well, CDC, just imagine how much fun you'll have getting me out of this dress after the party tonight."

Seductive Sonny. Chad Dylan Cooper could never resist the ways of Seductive Sonny. She was so sexy and beautiful and I was so excited for the party to be over so I could slip that dress off of her. And then it hit me that she had said we were going to a party. A party which I didn't remember agreeing to attend.

I drew back slightly to look at her face over my shoulder. "Did you say we were going to a party?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah. Remember when I told you Tawni was throwing a huge party and we were invited?"

I shook my head in response. "No, you never told me that."

"Yes I did, Chad. Last week when you came home from shooting I told you about it and you said you would go with me. Don't tell me you're not going?" she crossed her arms and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.

I scratched the back of my neck, trying to look anywhere but at her. "Well, I don't know, babe. I have a ton of filming to do tomorrow and then I have to go straight to that talk show when I get off."

She began beating me with her matching clutch, ignoring my cries of pain completely.

"You go to parties all the time without me and the one time I ask you to go with me, Chad-the one time-you pull this shit. I'm so fucking sick of your shit, Chad. Keep this up and you won't have to worry about me bugging you to take me out anymore." She turned abruptly and marched out of the apartment, slamming the door as she went, leaving me to feel like a complete and utter asshole.

I am brought abruptly back to the present as the ceremony begins. I watch as Sonny's friends and family walk arm in arm down the aisle. The asshole-the groom-is waiting patiently at the alter to be joined by his bride. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of her being his bride. I'm also overwhelmed with the sudden urge to knock him clean off the alter with a right hook. Yet, I remind myself it isn't his fault I'm lost. If I wouldn't have fucked up she would be my bride.

To distract myself, I lean over to Nico and ask, "Hey, why aren't you two in the wedding?"

Nico responds, "Well, What's-His-Face didn't think Grady was mature enough to be in a wedding. So I told Sonny that I'd sit with him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid like put his face in the cake."

"Well," I tell him, "You guys would've been in our wedding."

Not allowing Nico and Grady to take part in the wedding only gives me more reason to hate the fucker marrying the only woman I'd ever loved.

Nico places a comforting hand on my shoulder, the small smile he wears not quite reaching his eyes. "Thanks, Chad."

And then comes the moment I have been dreading since the she walked out my door. A bridal march begins to play and everyone stands and turns to admire the beautiful bride as she waltzes down the aisle on the arm of her father. I feel my mouth slacken. She is even more beautiful than I had anticipated. A gorgeous white, strapless dress hugs her shape, playing up her every curve and cascades down into a lengthy lovely train. Her hair is in lovely waves around her face, falling just past her shoulders. The makeup she wears is subtle, allowing for her natural beauty to shine through her veil.

Her eyes catch sight of me as she saunters by. I take note of the slight widening of them in surprise as she was probably not expecting me to show up. I offer a slight smile, which she half-heartedly returned. As she passes, I notice a perfect waterfall braid adorned her hair.

We are seated as she joins her husband-to-be at the altar. A wave of nausea passes over me as I see her beam at him with her amazing smile. A smile that was once reserved for me. The preacher begins, starting with the typical, "We are gathered here today," bull crap. And so begins the most unbearable moment in my entire life to date.

Forever seared in my memory is the day she left me. I will never forget the pain and anguish just those few words uttered from her perfect lips brought me.

"I'm leaving you, Chad," she said to me. Her suitcase was packed and her belongings were boxed up and sitting miserably in the back of her car.

I stood, speechless, jaw slackened. My world collapsed around those four little words. Four words were all it took to send me spiraling into a deep depression.

"You're what?" I sputtered out, as if I hadn't heard her perfectly clear, damning words.

She sighed, tilting her suitcase up to stand on its own. Taking a deep breath she explained, "I'm leaving you. I can't be in a relationship with someone who is only in a relationship with himself. You only have time for you, Chad. There is no us-there never was an us. There was only you and your career. And I want more than that. I want love-I want someone to spend time with me and to show me affection in public and to go out on dates with me. You're just too busy with yourself to give me any of that and I'm done settling for less when I deserve more. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Goodbye, Chad."

My heart was shattered. Ripped to shreds by the harsh reality of her words. She was right. In that moment, I was the most broken, pathetic human being history had seen. Or, at least, I certainly felt that way.

"We aren't even going to talk about this? You're just leaving?" I asked her, my voice cracking.

She ran her hand through her gorgeous locks, her expression a combination of pain and frustration. I could see the tears running down her face. "The time for talking is over. You had plenty of opportunities to improve or even ask me what was wrong, but you didn't. Did you even notice I've been unhappy?" When I didn't answer she threw her hands up and raised her voice ever so slightly, "Exactly, because you didn't have time to notice, you were so busy with yourself and your career. It's over, Chad."

And with that final statement, she dropped her key to the apartment on the table in the hall and walked out the door and out of my life, leaving me to fall in a miserable heap of self-loathing and depression.

After the painful ceremony ends, the guests pour back inside to partake in dinner and then the following reception. At dinner, I am seated next to Grady and Nico once more. They are mostly silent throughout our meal, picking up on the fact that I have no interest in conversing. I watch as a couple people give a few speeches, and cringe when they comment on how happy they know the couple will be together.

Tawni's speech on how she's never seen Sonny so happy with someone comes across as a bit fake to me. I send a questioning look to Nico who merely shrugs in response.

Once dinner is finished, the dancing begins. Nico breaks off to dance with Tawni while Grady lingers, waiting for a song he knows to play. He is filled with excitement when Y.M.C.A. plays.

I search the crowd for Sonny. She isn't hard to spot; she's the most beautiful person in the room. Her gown is fitting, strapless with a bit of a poof to it, almost as if she were a princess. I repress the urge to kiss her.

When another upbeat song plays, I figure that guests will be distracted enough not to notice the ex-boyfriend speaking to the bride and that now would be as good a time as any to tell her everything I've been meaning to tell her since the day she left me.

I approach her slowly and check to make sure the groom is occupied so I can speak to her uninterrupted. He's stuck in a conversation with Grady who keeps making large hand gestures every so often. When he turns to leave, Grady strikes up another conversation with What's-His-Face entirely. I make a mental note to thank him later.

She's beautiful. It nearly takes my breath away how amazing she looks. Her hair dancing in waves around her face gives me the sudden urge to brush my fingers through it. I mentally kick myself. I can't be thinking such thoughts when I have something of this importance to convey to her.

I lightly tap her arm. "Sonny?"

She visibly stiffens, apologizes to whoever she was speaking to and says she'll be just a minute. When she turns to face me, her face is unreadable.

"Chad," she says through a forced smile, "it's so nice to see you. What do you need?"

Very straight to the point. She doesn't want to talk to me as much as I don't want to get off my chest what needs to be said. I think to myself about how awkward of a conversation this is going to be and cringe. But she needs to hear what I have to say to her. If not for her sake, for my own.

"Well, Chad," she sighs, clearly annoyed and uncomfortable, "what is it you want to say to me?"

I have managed to pull her from the dance floor and over by the tables near the arched doorways so as to have a more audible conversation.

I release a heavy sigh and inhale a deep breath. "Sonny, I'm sorry."

"'I'm sorry?'" She shakes her head at me and goes to return to greeting guests.

I grab her arm to halt her retreat. "That wasn't all I had to say."

She shrugs off my arm, crossing her own in the process and gives me the stare down to indicate I better say what I've come to say. "I am sorry. When you left me it forced me to realize what a horrible person I was in our relationship. I was wrong to treat you the way I did. You deserved more." I run a hand through my hair and turn my face away, not wanting her to see the tears brimming at the edges of my eyes. "Shit, Sonny, you deserved so much more."

"Chad, please," she whispers. "People are beginning to stare. I don't think-"

I violently shake my head. "No, no, I need to tell you this."

She stays in the same position, arms crossed as if to keep herself from harm, waiting for me to finish.

I square my shoulders and look her in her chocolate eyes. "Sonny, you were the best thing that ever happened to me."

She smiles a bit smugly at this, causing me to smile a bit too; a smile which quickly fades as I remember what I have left to say.

"I should have never let you go. When you were with me, life was great. With you, I could walk on water." My gaze falters and drops to my shoes as I say the next part. "But I was still a child-an immature brat who thought of no one but himself. And I know now that it was that immature selfish kid who caused me the greatest heartache of my life."

I glance up to her face to try to gage her expression, which is still unreadable.

Unable to decipher what she was currently feeling, I continue, "You deserved the world and I was too busy with myself and my career to give it to you. When you left, it forced me to realize I needed to grow up. I needed to grow up and be the man that you deserved, not just for you, but for me as well."

I catch sight of her now husband staring at us from across the dance floor over her shoulder. He can fucking wait, I think venomously to myself.

"I'm sorry I was such a terrible boyfriend to you, Sonny. I should have been around more and I should have showed you the world. Hell, I should have bought you roses and every damn flower in California everyday because you deserved it. You deserved so much more than me. And I've come here today because you needed to know. You needed to know that you are an amazing woman who deserved so much better than the asshole I was. And I'm sorry for that."

I pause and see tears in her eyes. She attempts to blink them away, but to no avail.

"Sonny," I say when I see the ugly jerk that married my girl approaching, "I just-I just want you to know that I hope he's better than me. I hope he does all of the things with you that I never did. He should buy you flowers every day and always hold your hand whenever he gets the chance. And the bastard should take you dancing and show you off. And he better be the best damn husband he can because you're worth it, Sonny."

Tears flow freely from my eyes now and I don't even bother to wipe them away. What's-His-Face has found his way next to Sonny who, I am surprised to see is freely crying as well.

"What the hell is going on?" He asks, the question directed at me.

We both ignore him and she fires at me, "Why did you have to do that, Chad? Why did you have to come and say all those things on my wedding day? Why do you always have to make me feel so…so-"

She doesn't bother finishing. Instead, she races off in the other direction. I watch through blurry eyes as Ugly and Tawni chase after her, all guests suddenly aware of the scene we've just caused.

I burst through the doors of the venue and climb into my convertible, ignoring the calls I hear from Nico and Grady. Jamming the key into the ignition, I take off and try to escape all the pain which this awful miserable day has caused.

Several months later, I am on the set of my latest movie. It is the first day of shooting and I'm sitting in my cozy trailer. I've been busy island hopping in the Bahamas, drowning my sorrows in tequila so the return to work was something I much looked forward to. A new distraction.

Since the wedding I have been avoiding tabloids, television, any phone calls from the Randoms, and basically any form of social media in fear of catching glimpses of the latest married Hollywood couple. I have succeeded somewhat. The Bahamas and tequila helped.

I am going over the script once more when I receive my Mackenzie Falls ringtone sounds from my iPhone. My hand hovers over it when I seen the name plastered across the screen, hesitant to pick it up. It would be the first time we've spoken since the scene at her wedding.

Clearing my throat and squaring my shoulders in an attempt to boost my confidence I answer in the calmest voice I can muster.

"This is Chad Dylan Cooper," I say coolly.

I hear her release a breath she'd been holding. "Hi, Chad."

"Hi, Sonny," is my brilliant response, all coolness lost from my voice completely. I am putty in her hands.

"Chad, I want to talk to you."

"Oh, well, what about?"

"If you open your trailer door, I'll tell you."

Shit, Sonny is here? My mind is racing. I haven't seen her since the fiasco at her wedding which was close to eight months ago.

I shoot out of my lounge chair and check my appearance in the mirror, brushing through my hair with my fingers and checking for anything in my teeth, before I ripping open the door. There she stands, in all her beauty, the phone still pressed to her ear. I motion for her to enter.

Before I can even get a word out, she bursts, "I couldn't do it."

"What? Sonny calm down, what are you talking about?"

She runs her hand through her dark locks. "I couldn't do it, Chad. I just couldn't. After all those things you said to me that night, I knew it would never work." I open my mouth to speak but she continues to ramble as she paces. "I just-the wedding was too rushed anyway. And I knew deep down I still loved you but I tried, I really did try to love him but it just wasn't right."

I place both hands on her shoulders and halt her pacing.

"Sonny, calm down and talk to me. You're rambling and not making sense."

She stares me dead in the eyes. "I filed for divorce."

"You what?" I ask, desperately needing her to say it again.

"I couldn't be with him, Chad. And he knew it too. We're getting a divorce because-"

Against all my better judgment, my mouth crashes against hers and I'm suddenly kissing her with all the passion that's been bubbling within me since the moment she left. I feel her wrap her arms around my neck and return my kiss. We stay that way for several long moments before finally breaking apart.

Before she has time to say anything, I drop to one knee and take her hands in mine.

"I love you, Sonny Munroe, and if you'll have me, I want you back so bad. I'll bring you flowers every day and take you dancing to every club and party in all of California-Hell, the country for that matter. I promise to love you and remind you of that every chance I get. Just please, please say yes."

She's in tears but she smiles.

"I don't know how or why, but I still love you, you egotistical jerkthrob."

I pick her up by the waist and spin her, the joy within me too overwhelming to contain. When I place her on her feet once more, she punches me.

"You better actually buy me flowers, jerk."

"Anything for you my Sonshine."

I smile my first real smile in what seems like years. I finally have my reason to and this time I don't intend to let it go.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to give me feedback as it is much appreciated. Also, if you feel as though an epilogue is needed, let me know and I may write one. Thanks once more for reading!