A/N: Written as a Yuletide 2015 exchange gift for dabblingDilettante.
Nico was the first to notice the absence of Nozomi's teasing ways that morning.
Earlier in the clubroom she had laughed and talked like ordinary with the other girls. But a lack of something had shown itself in her expression that was not the warm-hearted Nozomi they all knew.
A spark of sadness.
Something was radically different with Nozomi. Nico could not put her finger on the cause, but she could identify with that look. It was the look to escape—it was the look that said she did not want to burden anyone. At practice, then, Nico found herself unusually focused on Nozomi in search of odd behavior.
Nothing Immediately fueled those stray suspicions. Nozomi lifted her arms high towards the sparkling blue sky, her eyes shut and relaxed, allowing herself to mediate. Nothing in the world would trample over her concentration.
But that distance on her face... a quirk of her lips showed a stream of thoughts too unreachable like a comet zipping through the purple clouds on a late evening day.
Nico nearly bumped into Kotori's wide-open arms with her train of thought elsewhere. She stepped off to the side to avoid her, but she could hardly put her all into her own warm-up exercises.
Why am I bothered? Nico threw her head back and kicked out her feet to practice one of her stand-out poses. It's not like she's asking for help. I don't have time to think about things like that.
Nozomi adored u's. There should have been no problem. Just sometimes Nico wondered if Nozomi work ethic was higher than almost all of the group combined. Without a doubt she would lose an arm falling from exhaustion if it meant making the audience applaud with her dancing. She would delight in claps and cheers and togetherness.
Nico could respect that minset.
Nozomi was that kind of person, and Nico knew this as someone who took care of needy (but utterly adorable) little siblings. Like her, Nozomi would do anything to make another person happy even if it hurt her in the process.
But she was still caught off-guard when, from the corner of Nico's eye, Nozomi stopped her stretching exercises and backed towards the rooftop door. Inching further and further away from the group. Her hair hid her face, and Nico was unable to disicpher her expression.
What was she. . . .?
To Nico's bewilderment, surprise hit her in full-force when Nozomi reached for the knob. Hesitation rooted her to spot, and her palm hovered over the metal knob as if seeking reassurance this was right. From this angle, Nozomi seemed ashamed that she had to stoop this low.
What is she doing? Nico did a twirl not to give away she noticed. From her place, Nico glanced at the rest of u's. None of the other girls had noticed yet. Annoyance burned in her chest. I'll give her a piece of my mind if she wants to abandon us all without even a word. This is a difficult routine today—
Too late.
A few paces from her, Eli realized what was going on. Nico was relieved when Eli put two and two together.
"What's wrong, Nozomi?" Eli called over. She flopped in her place on the ground, right in the middle of a push-up.
Nozomi's eyes widened a little to be caught red-handed. Still, she seemed like she had expected this outcome.
"I—" Nozomi began, smiling weakly. She obviously did not want to lie to her best friend. "I have something I need to do."
Eli blinked. She frowned in concern. "You're skipping practice?"
Hearing this, each of the other u's members made it a point to follow Eli's line of sight. All of them had the exact same question; what's wrong?
Good question. Nico could finally not handle this any longer. Usually she was brash, but... this somehow seemed like it called for her attention specifically.
If there's something you want done, you have to do it yourself. Exasperated, Nico rounded on Nozomi and pointed at her.
"If you have something to say, you should just spit it out already!" Nico chided. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at Nozomi.
Unaffected, Nozomi shook her head. The dazed look on her face disappeared. To Nico, it was strange that she paid more attention to her lecture than Eli's soft-spoken inquiry of worry.
"Like I said, I have somewhere I need to go!" Smile straining, she shouldered her bag on her shoulder. Nozomi bowed her head in apology. "I'm sorry, everyone! I want to stay but this can't wait. It's fate! Please practice hard for my share, too!"
With that, Nozomi grabbed the door knob. Tthe steel hinges of the door clicked open, and Nozomi hurtled through, purple ponytails flying after her as she raced away down the stairs.
u's watched her leave in silence.
Nozomi... left. Left with a quick goodbye, which was completely unlike her.
What was that about? Nico spawned a similar frown to Eli's taken aback one.
Since nobody else followed, neither did Nico. Despite that, somehow, she wondered if she was supposed to.
As the days passed, Nico found herself increasingly irritated. Honestly, she was more irritated than she thought would be possible to focus on someone other than her homework, or those final exams slowly creeping closer and closer.
Nozomi refused to explain where she kept going every day around practice. And again and again Nozomi deserted the group for the next week. Usually it was right before practice began or mid-practice when the group had gotten well-warmed up after a few routines. But it was the same old ambiguous story
Nozomi would profusely apologize with that cursed distant look on her face and back towards the door. From the corner of her eye, Nico would watch her feet inch and inch towards the rooftop door until either Honoka or Eli called her out on feeling sick. She always declined.
Nico of course was a very busy idol studious worker. She found this atrocious and slacking behavior. How coudl she betray them like this? Studying idol magazines and the latest blog entries and upcoming singles coming out—that was her life, and she could not understand Nozomi's need to leave it so soon. So, Nico did everything she could to keep herself on the edge of the idol world and not think about Nozomi.
Nico still could not concentrate.
No, she could not concentrate when she plopped her earphones on and listened to one of the newest album she had been anticipating for exactly two months, six days, and three hours. She could not fully enjoy the sweet melody.
It's all Nozomi's fault! Nico pounded the clubroom table in front of her with her fist. A stack of papers fluttered and scattered across the tabletop in a dizzying swoop. She was glad none of the others were there to see this.
Hmph! Nico squashed the cover page of a magazine between her hands. Seeing the face of newcoming idol named Inoue Yukari, on the bent front cover she hurriedly smoothed it out again. And she refuses to talk about it! Maybe I'll have to talk some sense into her myself!
Maki had (too sensibly) said not to rock the boat and let Nozomi get whatever was in her system out by herself. As much as she relied on u's, sometimes Nozomi needed time to herself. Maki believed she would come around. Eli so far had not commented too much, taking a backseat ride to the events unfolding.
Honoka's idea of catching Nozomi in the act was ambushing her and having her explain everything over a good dinner. Nico finally remembered why Honoka had been so persuasive to start u's in the first place with that confident attitude.
"I'm absolutely fine!" Nozomi's voice rang in Nico's ears. She could picture Nozomi insisting this before all Nico could see was her back. "I'm sorry, I'm make up double, no triple, the practice time when this is all over. I promise!"
Odder, everyone in u's could tell she was being sincere and did not interfere. But still, Nico did not want to hear excuses.