True Love's Hit and Miss
'Aaargh!'
Prince Edward dived out of the way of the bizarre metal carriage, the driver shaking his fist and shouting obscenities as he passed. With a disgruntled squeak, a small furry animal tumbled through the air before rolling to a stop beside him.
'Fie on you too, you unseemly ragamuffin!' Edward called after the driver, and brushed dirt from the sleeves of his doublet with a small 'harrumpf'.
He had been in this strange, enchanted land for two days now, and yet the unpredictable nature of its colourful, crazy inhabitants never failed to take him by surprise. Edward sighed, wondering for a second how long he'd have to search for his true love. But the thought was forgotten almost as soon as it had occurred – he may not be the brightest candle on the royal chandelier, but no-one could accuse Prince Edward of ever being down hearted for long!
'Come, fellow wanderer,' he beamed at the little chipmunk, who stood next to him, scowling. 'Onwards, my friend, onwards, to true love!' He held his rapier aloft and struck a pose, ignoring the bemused glances of the peasants who walked past. Edward was used to their erratic reactions to his handsome and impressive presence, knowing that they would range between amusement, confusion, and outright contempt. Some, (small children, mainly) seemed overjoyed to see him, whereas others…well. He recalled, with a grimace, the lady who for some reason had taken extreme offence at his valiant and daring rescue of her and a band of peasants, who had been captured by a giant, rolling metal beast.
Well, time to keep looking!
He was standing at the gateway to a huge park which opened up from the side of the roadway. From the elegant iron railings he knew that surely this was the grounds of a palace. And where better to find his true love, a princess?
'Giselle!' he called, and skipped off down the path into the park, chipmunk scurrying along behind him.
He searched high, and he searched low. He pirouetted over bridges, and sashayed past confused joggers.
'Giselle!' he called, by a lake. 'Quack,' said the ducks, paddling in the water.
'Giselle!' he called, looking inside a trolley. 'Waaaah!' cried the baby, and hit him in the face with a rattle.
'Giselle!' he called, as he peered inside a small building. 'Get out of here, you pervert!' shrieked a lady sitting on a toilet, and he hastily retreated.
At one point he stopped on top of a rise, and put a hand to his forehead to admire the view of the city beyond the trees. Tall, grey buildings stood starkly against the afternoon sun. Even from here he could hear the growl of their many carriages. My, this was an odd land.
After a moment's contemplation on the mysteries of life, he bounded off once more.
Yet again he skipped through fields, and twirled through flowers. But Giselle was no-where to be found.
Then, suddenly, he heard the sound of music. A clear, sweet voice carried on the breeze.
'How does she know…you love her?'
'Giselle!' he cried. And then he saw her, dancing down the path, surrounded by laughing, singing followers, and smiling with a smile more beautiful than he could ever remember.
This was his moment!
In one graceful movement, he leapt from the bridge he stood on and landed elegantly on the path below. He cleared his throat, flipped back his hair, raised his arms, smiled his dazzling smile, and began to sing.
'I've been dreaming of a true lo- '
-and that's when he was hit by a load of bicycles.
'Aaargh!' he yelled, for the second time that day.
Edward went down in a tangle of arms, legs, and spinning wheels. He hit the gravel, hard, and lay there at the bottom of a large heap of people and two wheeled metal contraptions. The peasants were repeating swearwords so uncouth he felt like covering his ears. He couldn't believe it! His special moment had been ruined, and what was worse – so had his hair.
In the corner of his vision he could distinctly make out the chipmunk laughing at him.
Ah well, he thought, when your fairy godmother throws pumpkins at you – make pumpkin pie! (Or, alternatively, throw them back harder, but such un-chivalrous behaviour was only carried out by ogres and trolls.)
He pulled himself out from under the pile, and got up. Then he started running, pursued by an angry mob of shouting men on bicycles.
He knew just how to lose them. There was a fearsome metal beast roaming the city…with a taste for eating peasants.
Prince Edward grinned. He may have lost his true love for the moment – but he'd find her soon enough. And then they would live happily ever after.
The end. Please review! :D