Why I Save Them
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'Why should I save them', I ask myself, while looking out towards the different factions gathered in the Great Hall. Minister Fudge is talking to his "financial backers" in one corner, Lucius Malfoy amongst them. The Australian Minister is there too, laughing at whatever stupid joke entertains purebloods these days.
In another corner is Albus Dumbledore himself, in the middle of a "gather light-wizards" mission with the Norwegian, Danish and Swedish Ministers. For one looked upon as so wise, the long-bearded mage is remarkably dumb when it comes to people. Not dumb in the "I'm embarrassing myself" way, because the old coot can certainly make a man believe the earth is flat, but once someone open their eyes… there is no loyalty to be gained from Dumbledore, not unless such a display is in his own favorable light, but he certainly wants it. Dumbledore wants status quo, "light-wizards" to rule Great Britain, but only as long as he approves of them.
Do I really want such a thing to happen?
In the third corner are the 'ordinary' people, - those not deemed important enough to walk among the others, yet still thinks highly of themselves. Personally, I deem them sheep. They long so to be included in one of the other factions, that as long as it gives them prestige they don't think twice about what their money goes to. And mixed in-between them all are Voldemort's own supporters. I'm sure there is more than enough of sheep walking through the mad-man's hallways, but it doesn't really take much to guess that there are spies in both Fudge's and Dumbledore's factions too. I still glance over at Malfoy at times, just to make sure he's not trying anything, and Snape is standing side-by-side with Dumbledore, wearing his usual scowl. Dumbledore may have said a lot of bullshit through the years, but nothing beats his misplaced faith in Snape's true loyalties. I really don't give a damn anymore though, not as far as Snape goes, anyway. Now that I know the prophecy, Dumbledore is quite frankly useless. Not in the sense that he can't catch Death Eaters, - he'll do that anyway. But useless in the sense of beating Voldemort – of providing the wizarding world with a future better than the common ignorance and naivety people are currently walking the streets with.
I sigh, and grip my wand a bit tighter beneath the table. I am currently at a Christmas Eve ball at Hogwarts, which Dumbledore is hosting, and as such most of the students have been sent home. Suffice to say, when Dumbledore gave me the choice of joining the party as his guest or go "home" to the Dursleys, I choose the party. I feel safer here, despite Malfoy's calculating glances, Snape's insults and scowls, Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyeballs and the common-folk's mood-swings. Because here I can do magic: defend myself if needed.
So, why will I save them?
One of the reasons is running between the guests, delivering food and drinks as if he was the servant people believes him to be. Dobby has become a fond, if eccentric, friend of mine, and it hurts my soul to see him be used in such a manner, even if just to deliver drinks. Such a friend is worthy my life.
Another reason is currently sitting on my shoulder, her wide, unblinking eyes never leaving the people I'm weary of, hooting every time a person moves a little too close to my table. Hedwig is more than a close familiar. She's my friend, my avian sister perhaps, and knows me better than even my closest of human friends. She's been there when I needed her and seen both my worst and best moments. I absently reach up to give her a slice of bacon, and even while she's eating her unnerving eyes bore into the annoyed, cold grey of Lucius Malfoy's. Her guarded ways sometimes even draws Dumbledore's eyes, for such a bond between man and creature might even reach beyond the coot's bond with his phoenix. Such a friend is worthy my life.
I spot Ron and Hermione with Dumbledore, laughing and having a good time. Ron sometimes shoots me a curious glance, glares at Malfoy and Snape, before going back to flirt with Hermione. Most "light-wizards" glare at Malfoy actually, but then again, when a criminal bribes his way out of court again with such skill, one can hardly keep one's admiration to oneself, even if it's expressed with cold eyes, grinding teeth and a loose wand.
I'm not so sure about my friendships with Ron and Hermione anymore. Ron's jealousy has reared its head again these days, when he found out I could do magic outside of school the past summer. He still thinks Dumbledore got me the permission, but truth be told, I just bought another wand under the name of a wizard past his twenties. Despite appearances, Ollivander cannot see through glamours, even simple ones with a thirty minute time-limit available at the twins' shop.
Hermione is a bit of a mystery actually, mostly because she has more or less stopped associating with me for no visible reason. It might be that having a wand during the summer, and a knowing chance that I might one day have a chance to bring justice to my parents' killer, upped my study habits. I'm first in potions, DADA, charms and transfiguration by now, and it must irk her to be thought second. Still, if I'm worth less than her books, then perhaps we were never really friends after all. A sad thought, really. Such friends are not worthy my life.
Ironic, isn't it, since I'd still die for them. I suppose it's what makes me different than the rest. Despite all atrocities done to me, despite poor loyalty, betrayals and "for-the-greater-good" manipulations, I still love them all. It might shock you to hear, but contrary to popular belief, I don't hate Voldemort. Hate his deeds, perhaps, but Voldemort himself, no. A poor boy that made poor choices in an environment he should have been rescued from. A victim of society, a society that is now reaping their rewards.
Pity is perhaps the strongest word I can say, though apathy is more likely closer to the truth.
I spot Remus Lupin making his way through the crowd, no doubt looking for me. I can't help smiling softly at the man who has taken over Sirius' godfather role. His time is coming soon though, I can see it clearly, and Remus never denied it when I once brought the subject up. Lycanthropy has shortened his lifespan, and the toxic effect of his monthly drink doesn't help, even if it lets him keep his mind during his transformations. He is probably my only true human friend, if you ignore his werewolf problem. Perhaps Neville and Luna one day might join this pathetic small circle of true friendship, but for now it seems like they have found each other, and I wish them luck. They're going to need it in this world.
Remus' sad eyes meet mine, and I understand. Tomorrow is the full moon. Remus' last. I have promised him I'll be there, even though he doesn't wish me to risk my life. Dumbledore's eyes have found Remus too, and they are knowing ones. Snape's sneer is showing his own sense of superiority and no guilt for making a monthly potion that shortened a person's life is present. 'Ironic then,' I think while eying his goblet, 'that he is going to die of the same potion'. The potion is lethal to humans. Dobby didn't mind delivering the goblet.
Dumbledore is probably going to believe that Voldemort discovered he was a 'spy', and I have no plans on disabusing him of that notion. Lucius Malfoy's goblet contains something a little more… humiliating, for him at least. The fact that I've made his son impotent aside, which will create a scandal on its own, the magic eating termites I've transfigured into wine will lose their form when entering the man's belly. Becoming what he hates seems to be a fitting punishment. I'm wondering what his wife is going to say when she discovers he's become a muggle.
I don't need Dumbledore's power, Voldemort's dark knowledge or Merlin's skill with a wand to be a danger to others. I think they've all forgotten that. Tomorrow's paper is going to be Dumbledore's downfall, when his past with Grindelwald becomes common knowledge. The old coot needs a humbling experience to stop messing up other people's life. Fudge's transactions and lies will be revealed the day after, and I've arranged with Madam Bones to take over – she's ready.
Remus has reached me now and greets me with a welcoming hug, and I go with him outside despite the surrounding protests.
"Everything ready?" He asks. He has known for a while, and I smile sadly back at him.
"Yes."
Remus gives a relieved sigh, glad that he'll die with the knowledge that some change has been made for the better.
"What about Voldemort?"
I smile and look out at the beautiful Hogwarts Lake, whose radiance is glinting in the moonlight.
"He's dead." The words stop the man, and he turns watering eyes towards me.
"How… ?"
My smile widen, though I'm not sure if it's because of Remus' question, or because I'm watching Rupert the giant squid tossing something resembling a human-sized doll around in the water.
"The others don't know yet, and won't for a while." I said, ignoring his question for a bit, but seeing his frustration, I continue.
"We all, even Dumbledore, knew where Voldemort was staying. Malfoy Manor wasn't exactly a secret place, was it? I brought my invisibility cloak and my uncle's firearm with me yesterday, and shot the poor fool while he slept. Even a dark lord has vulnerable sides." I say, grinning now.
"One, he needs sleep, two, a small place between the eyes."
I bask in the warmth of the hug he is enveloping me in, knowing that this is why I do what I do, did what I did.
Love is why my mom saved me.
I'm passing the torch.
Love is why I save them.
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Just a short drabble while I'm working on my new fic - at least you'll get a preview of how I've improved my writing skills. If you don't think I've improved, you should compare this one with my abandoned ones. Just so you know, "Why I Save Them" is not betaed, and I probably don't plan to have it done so either. My new fic (which is not yet posted) will be though. Please leave a review with your opinion, please. Any comments are good comments, as it'll help me improve one way or another. Thanks! - Fanfix
