Whiskey Lullaby
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin
Merlin and Arthur dated through high school but when it came time to go university Arthur decided to break it off. "Merlin I love you but I don't want to put you through not being able to see me anymore," Arthur said gently holding his boyfriend.
"Arthur, please," Merlin said pleadingly, "I'll never find some else like you! I love you, isn't that enough?"
"Merlin, I truly love you and I don't want to hurt you but I can't deal with not being able to see you for four years, please Merlin don't do this."
"If you love me then don't do this!" Merlin said his eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "I can't lose you," he whispered.
"I have to," Arthur said planting a chaste kiss on Merlin's forehead. "I love you."
Merlin pressed a kiss on Arthur's lips for the last time. Arthur took his bag and walked out.
Merlin for the next few years blamed himself for Arthur leaving. Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Morgana, Gwen, and Lance all tried to cheer him up but every time they tried to get him out of the house he yelled until he lost his voice and then started to cry anew.
He started binge drinking. He sat in bars until they threw him out and then he just went to another. Hunith and Gaius tried talking to him but not even his mother, who had lost Merlin's father before he was born, could console her grieving son. He'd always say the same thing, "Arthur was the only important thing in my life! No one will EVER understand! I loved him and he just up and left!"
One day everyone came to intervene on Merlin's behalf but when they went into his room he was lying on the bed, face-down and barely breathing, with a note that said:
I'll love him till I die.
Hunith broke down and cried while Lance and Gwen called an ambulance. Leon, Gwaine, Percy, and Morgana just stood watching Merlin struggle to breathe. Gaius started trying to open his airway a little so that he might survive long enough so that the ambulance could take him to the hospital.
They loaded him up as his loved ones watched somberly. Morgana clutched onto Leon and Gwen cried into Lance's shoulder. Gwaine and Percy looked at each and an understanding passed between them, they were calling Arthur.
Gwaine put it on speaker as they all crowded around his cell.
"Hello?" a voice crackled on the other end.
"Arthur, please come home," Morgana pleaded desperately.
"What is it Morgana?" Arthur asked.
"It's Merlin mate," Lance said.
"What about Merlin?" Arthur said his voice bordering hysteria.
"You just need to come back," Leon urged, "I don't want you to have any regrets."
They heard Arthur yell 'oh GOD' and then drop the phone. The line went dead and they all started their journeys to the hospital. They waited with Hunith, Lance pacing, and everyone trying not to think about what Merlin had just tried to do.
"Lance please sit down," Gwen said trying to calm her boyfriend.
"This wouldn't have happened if Arthur hadn't left!" He yelled which earned him a dirty look from the receptionist.
"We can't blame him, Merlin knew what he was doing," Hunith said her voice sounding washed out and tired.
"Where is he?" Arthur said bursting through the doors of the waiting room. His face was ashen and he was completely disheveled.
"How dare you come in here and act like you care!" Gwaine roared shoving his chair into the wall in his haste to get up. Gwaine glared at the blonde trying not to take a swing at him. Percy touched his arm and Gwaine reluctantly sat down.
Hunith stood and walked right up to Arthur and watched him for a moment before slapping him so hard it echoed down the hall. Arthur sat and just stayed still. "I will never forgive you Arthur Pendragon for what you have done to my baby boy, he loved you and you tossed him aside. Don't you ever show your face to my boy or so help me…" Hunith broke off her eyes welling up with tears.
Lance wrapped his arms around her shoulders and sat her down before grabbing Arthur's arm and pulling him just outside the doors. "Did you lie to Merlin?"
"About what?" Arthur asked.
"About loving him?" Lance said staring directly into Arthur's cerulean eyes.
"No, I loved him the whole time, I just didn't think that a long distance thing would work." Lance punched Arthur right in the chest.
"Don't lie to me Arthur Pendragon!" Lance said raising his voice.
"I'm not!" Arthur said looking into Lance's chocolate colored eyes with his piercing blue ones.
"If he's alright I want you to make me a promise. Promise me that you will transfer to the uni here. Promise me!" Lance said shoving Arthur.
" Alright, I promise." Arthur said. He walked back inside and sat far away from everyone else. Morgana watched him and noticed tears streaking down his face and plopping into his lap, staining his jeans. She went up and crouched in front of him. She laid a feather-light hand on his knee. "This is all my fault," he whispered hoarsely.
"It's alright Arthur, shhhh it'll be alright." She shushed him soothingly.
"What he won't be okay?" Arthur said trying to control his sobs. "What will I do? I love him."
"He'll be alright," Morgana said looking at her half-brother. At that moment the doctor came in and cleared his throat.
" He seems stable for now but he hasn't gained consciousness so he'll stay until he can answer a few questions." The doctor left just as Arthur, Hunith and the girls broke into tears. The boys whooped and hugged each other.
Arthur carefully approached Hunith and pulled her aside. "I'm going to his flat and make it nice for when he gets back, is that alright with you?" She nodded, placed a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a look that said thank you.
He went back to Merlin's flat and unlocked it with the key he kept. He saw a half empty whiskey bottle on the kitchen counter so he took a few swigs. He broke down and cried until he was left rocking on his feet and didn't even have the energy to cry anymore. He pulled out his wallet and took out the picture of Merlin he had always kept in there.
They had taken the picture together but they had cut in half so that they always had each other with them. When you put the pictures together it showed Merlin with is arm around Arthur's waist and Arthur had his arm around Merlin's shoulder. With their free hands in front of them making a heart.
Arthur went to the bedroom that they had once shared. He curled up on the bed clutching his half of the picture for dear life. He slipped into the dark abyss of sleep and didn't wake up until Hunith came in because Arthur had disappeared and she wondered why he hadn't come back to the hospital.
She saw him lying just like Merlin had, face-down in the pillow. She screamed and pulled at Arthur. Arthur jumped up and looked around trying to find the reason that Hunith had screamed. She had her hand clamped over mouth and Arthur saw tears running down her face.
"A-arthur, y-you n-n-need to c-come to th-the hospital."
"What is it? Is Merlin okay? He's alright isn't he?" Arthur said hysterically. He clutched Hunith's shoulders frantically searching her eyes for some tell-tale sign.
"He woke up briefly and asked for you," She said composing herself.
"Well then I better get to the hospital!" he said rushing down to his car and driving as fast as the speed limit let him. "Merlin Emrys?" he asked the receptionist.
"314b sir," she said sensing that Arthur was desperate by the look in his eye and his general air.
" Thank you," he threw over his shoulder.
"Sir, it's that way," the receptionist said pointing in the opposite direction that Arthur had been heading. He rushed there and hesitated in front of Merlin's door. He placed his hand on the door and traced the gold 314b on the door. He took a deep breath and cracked the door.
"Mum?" Merlin asked blearily. Arthur looked at his boyfriend, he wasn't the young man he had left a year and a half ago. He had dark bags under his eyes and his eyes had lost their luster and shine. Even Merlin's hair looked duller than usual. Merlin had had heavenly ivory skin that made Arthur think of a porcelain doll but now it was a sickly pale. Just by looking at his arms Arthur could tell Merlin had lost weight, he didn't even want to see his chest.
"Merlin, it's me, Arthur," Arthur said quietly. He sat on the chair next to Merlin's bed and took Merlin's hand into his own, it was ice cold.
"No, this is just one of those weird drug-induced dreams isn't it, you're not really here!" Merlin said tears dripping down his face. Arthur felt a pang in his chest and he kissed Merlin's hand.
"I'm here Merlin, and I'm not going anywhere, ever again." Arthur stood and pressed a kiss to Merlin's forehead. "I love you so much and I will never leave you for as long as I live."
"Arthur!" Merlin said flinging his arms around his ex-boyfriend. "I can't believe it! You're here!" Merlin's sobs racked his whole body and Arthur just held onto him until he felt ready to let go. When he did let go Arthur sat on the edge of the bed stroked to back of Merlin's knuckles with his thumb.
"Merlin, I love you. I was stupid to ever let you go and I swear that I will never leave your side." Arthur said tears welling up in his eyes as well as in Merlin's.
"I love you too Arthur," Merlin said softly. Arthur leaned forward and captured Merlin's mouth with his own. It was a bit awkward with the medical equipment in the way but after a minute Arthur found his way around it.
"Merlin?"
"Yes Arthur?"
"Will you take me back? I've decided to go to uni here for the rest of my school years."
"Of course I will Arthur."
"Thank you, I love you so much it hurts."
"I love you too Arthur."
A/N: I know it didn't match up exactly with the song but I didn't have the heart to kill Merlin or Arthur.