One day, Leo the pig
was sitting happily in his pen. Bob, his favorite human, had just
fed him some brown mush which was called food, or more politely, crap.
It wasn't the best thing Leo had ever tasted, but it was acceptable.
While he sat and thoughtlessly devoured his lunch, a loud "psssssst!" came
from the other side of the pen. Glancing up, Leo saw a tall, dark
cow wearing a black suit and sunglasses gesturing to him from a shady corner
of the barnyard. Leo stared at the cow, wondering how his sunglasses
managed to stay on his nose. The cow waved quickly to him, trying
to avoid being seen by the other farmyard animals. Torn between his
unfinished crap and wanting to look at the cow's magical sunglasses, Leo
hesitated for a moment, until finally deciding to go talk to the cow.
He casually strolled across the yard, nodding to his friends Yoda the Chicken
and Beth the Goat. Upon reaching the corner, Leo slipped around it
and found himself face to face with the cow.
"Leo," the cow began.
"Wait, how do you know my name? And
who are you? And how do your sunglasses stay on?"
"I know a lot about you. My name.....is
Moopheus. My sunglasses are glued to my face."
"Ohhhhhhhh."
"You, Leo, are in the Meatrix."
"The Meatrix?"
"Do you want to know what it is?"
"Ummmm.......ok......"
"It is all around us." Moopheus waved
his arms for dramatic effect.
"Where?" Leo looked around. He
didn't see anything out of the ordinary, except for Moopheus.
"It is the story we tell ourselves about where
our meat and animals products come from."
"Wait....THEY MAKE THINGS OUT OF ANIMALS!?!?!"
Leo cried.
"This farmyard is an illusion, a fantasy created
by the advertisement companies. If you want to stay in that fantasy..."
Moopheus reached in his coat pocket and produced two pills, a red one and
a blue one. "Take the blue pill. If you want to know the truth,
take the red pill." Leo scratched his snout. He didn't really
know what Moopheus was talking about.
"Which one tastes better?" He asked,
after pondering the choice for awhile.
"This is an important, life changing decision
and all you think about is what tastes the best?" Moopheus replied.
Leo shrugged,
"I'm a pig, what do expect?"
"Take the red one, it tastes like strawberries,"
Moopheus said, sighing. Leo leand forward and took the red pill from
Moopheus. Their hooves brushed, making Leo blush. He had never
been attracted to any of the other animals like he was to Moopheus.
Leo had once had a few dates with Beth the Goat, but that was as far as
his love life had ever progressed. There was something about this
Moopheus, something mysterious yet appealing…..
Author's note: Yes, I have problems. More to come!