A/N: Originally posted on HPFF on 9/13/15. Written for the Every Word Counts Challenge, and Honorable mention for ScorpiusRose17's Proverb Challenge: "Two's company, three's a crowd."
The world rattles around me. I clench and unclench my fists, letting jagged nails pierce my flesh. Ground me in the pain, tell me that what's real.
I am so lonely, but never alone.
I'm here
They're always here.
Who?
The other "me"s who live in my head.
The voices?
Voices.
Crazy.
I'm crazy today.
You're always crazy.
I'm crazy for you.
The wind whips at my face. Is it wind? Am I even outside? All that I know is this feeling that consumes; the sensation of untouchable blasts rushing at me, these gusts of power that threaten to blow me away.
Victoire?
Is that you, Teddy?
I'm here.
We're here.
They're here.
It's just the two of us.
Daddy used to say "Two's company, but three's a crowd." That was when I started counting.
Counting?
One, two, three, four
Counting the voices in my head. I'd be happy with just two. But I was always more crowded than that.
How many degrees of crazy are you?
I could never keep track. But I knew that it was more than it ought to be.
You are more beautiful than anyone I've ever known.
I know the ugliness inside of you.
The world is fog. Colors dance in a rage through the mist, demanding to be seen. The red blurs could be fire or sirens. The dark shadows could be nearby allies or distant monsters. All are threats.
How can you tell
Which voice?
Is real
One, two, three, four
Put my face on, Teddy
I'm here.
There I am.
He's a lie.
He wears my face. He's a real, physical thing. I can see him, feel him, touch him.
You can hear us. We're here, always here.
Hear me. I'm here.
That face, which has been my comfort through the years. That face, which he perfected as a child and a hundred times since with every change of my growing body.
Growing, grating, fracturing, fractaling, consuming, combusting
Tell me again. Say out loud why you want to see me like this.
So I remember what I really am on the outside.
A haven for all of us on the inside.
So I hear your words coming from my lips, and know that they are not mine.
We're all you.
And know that no words but those shaped with my own lips are truly mine.
The smoke clears, only to reveal a mass of clouds on the horizon. Clouds that promise storms without shelter. Storms that will destroy all in their path. The storm is coming for me.
Or am I the storm?
You will pull him up by his foundation and rip him to pieces.
Let me love you.
What part of me?
Which one of me?
I see a hundred realities dancing in and out of existence. They fight for my attention and my belief. There is no differentiating the waking world from those of nightmares. None of them can be trusted.
He cannot be trusted.
Teddy?
I'm here.