A/N: Originally posted on HPFF on 9/13/15. Written for magnifique_poufsouffle's femslash challenge

"I'm never going out again," I swear under my breath as I reach the comfortable solace of the Common Room.

My dramatic entrance does not even disturb so much as the air around me as my fellow Gryffindors carry right on with their socializing and studying.

I consider walking straight up to one of them and insisting that I need to talk, a friend to listen, anything. But no, my dramatic entrance made no difference, neither would that.

Hanging my head, a cross silently towards the stairway to the dormitory. Before my hand reaches the banister, I hear a soft voice from over my shoulder. "Hey Katie, you okay?"

I turn around to see the kind face of Alicia smiling up at me. I look from her face to the Transfiguration book in her lap to the other Seventh years sitting around her.

I shake my head slightly, meaning to say that I don't want to talk. Whether it is because she interprets this as a response to her question, or because she sees through my attempt at evasion, Alicia does not back down.

That's what I love about my teammates. They're trained to respond not to my fumbled attempts at words, but to the precise signals of my body, and Alicia has been playing with me long enough to know what each and every movement means, on and off the pitch.

"Come on lady, let's talk."

My wide eyes return to the other girls sitting in the circle of armchairs. Following my gaze, Alicia gives an understanding nod. Setting aside the textbook in her lap, Alicia stands and takes my hand. Looking around, she spots a vacant sofa on the other side of the fireplace. She leads me to it and I obediently take a seat beside her.

"Okay, Katie," she says, turning her full attention to me. "What's on your mind?"

I open my mouth, wanting to share my feelings with her, but my voice gets caught in my throat. My eyes dart around the room at the distant hum of dozens of private lives unfolding around me.

"Katie." Alicia's voice comes again, strong and steadying. "You see this sofa? It's a special place. It's just you and me here. All the other kids are in their own worlds over there, but we're here. Your words are safe here."

I feel my face warm with the kind of smile that comes only when someone truly understands me. Taking a deep breath, I whisper my words for Alicia, "I did a date thing."

Alicia's jaw drops as her eyes widen with excitement. "Really? Like a dating date?"

I giggle. "That's the one."

"Oh my goodness! Tell me everything – every single thing."

I blush at the pressure of her request, but cannot help but be pleased that I have a story to tell and that she wants to hear it. "Where do I start?" I ask timidly.

"Well, who's the lucky gal?" Alicia wanted to know.

I bite my lower lip slyly. "Verity Monard."

Alicia cocks her head to the side. "Verity Monard… I don't think I know her."

"She works in the village," I announce proudly.

"The village? Oh you saucy minx – someone has been getting out!"

"Well… out as far as Zonko's," I confess.

"Zonko's…" Alicia furrows her brow. "I think I know the one – tall, dark hair?" I nod. "Well done, Katie! And on your first try, no less."

"Unless you count the Yule Ball with Lee," I offer.

"Oh, please. I don't think anyone's ball dates from last year count. And certainly not yours with Lee."

"Fair enough."

"So… where'd she take you?" Alicia further prompts.

I smile, pleased to have a story to tell at all, no matter how mortified I wound up. "There was a cabaret night at the pub."

"Ooh la la!" Alicia teases. "Any good acts?"

"I suppose…"I muse, twirling my hair. "Not that I paid much attention with a pretty girl sitting next to me."

"Tell me about it!" Alicia laughs. "No, really – tell me."

I go on, a soft echo of a smile on my lips. "Well, I've sat by my share of pretty girls before. But I never knew what it was like – to sit by one who was sitting by me thinking I was pretty. I just couldn't get over the fact that she was really there just for me."

"That's beautiful," Alicia whispers.

"Well, yeah. That is, it was beautiful until we started trying to talk."

Alicia's eyes widen, their eager fascination urging me on.

"I mean, I had no idea what to say to her! It was so embarrassing. All I knew was that she worked at Zonko's, so I tried being silly, and, well… I think it came off a bit more as flaily and a little deranged."

Alicia, bless her, does not laugh. Instead, her face softens with a sweet sympathy that feels like an embrace.

"So I tried talking about Fred and George," I go on. "You know, the things they've been inventing. And, halfway through a sentence I realized how stupid it must seem that I was only talking about her job and I didn't know anything else about her!"

Alicia smiles compassionately. "Well, that's what dating is for – to get to know each other better."

My face darkens. "Oh, I did that. Once I shut my stupid mouth, she started talking."

"Well, good!" Alicia encourages me.

I shake my head.

"What happened?" Alicia asks, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Well, let's see… She thinks Fudge is doing a great job, vegans are delusional, and Quidditch is for boys.

"My goodness!" Alicia gapes at me. "What did you do?"

"Mostly just sat there and thought about how pretty she was," I admit.

Alicia can't help but laugh at my frankness. "See how quickly romance makes you lose your principles?"

"It's not just me?" I ask dubiously. "I mean, the more she talked the more I knew we had nothing in common. But somehow it seemed like it didn't matter compared to – well, I've never had a girl look at me like she wanted to kiss me."

"And did she?"

I immediately avert my eyes. "No. Well, she tried." Alicia doesn't say anything, but I can feel her anticipation pressing me on. "I felt guilty at the last minute and I tried to say – well, everything. And it came out as nothing. You know, like it sometimes does."

Alicia's eagerness melts away into gentle understanding. Alicia and Angelina are the only people at Hogwarts who know about the years I spent as a child fighting my stutter. On the rare occasion that it shows its ugly face these days, people generally think I'm making a joke. That doesn't help much.

Alicia wraps an arm around me, inviting me to rest my head against her shoulder.

"Tonight was the most stressful night of my life," I mutter.

"There, there," Alicia reassures me. "It's all over."

"But I want to do it again!" I whine desperately, fully aware of how ridiculous I must sound.

I feel Alicia shift her head to look at me. "Already? Talk about resilience."

"I mean, it was awful and messy and embarrassing," I admit. "But I can't stop thinking about the way her eyes looked, lit up just for me."

Alicia's body relaxes and she rubs my shoulder understandingly. "Don't you worry. It'll be even better when you find someone who deserves you," she assures me. "You just need to find somebody you have more in common with. Who else do you have on your list?"

"List?" I ask weakly.

"Oh, please Katie. You've spent six years at a boarding school, closeted for five of those. Surely someone's caught your eye."

After hours of plotting with Alicia and a rather abrupt proposal in the Great Hall, I secured a date with Pats Stimpson. After a two hour walk around the grounds with her and an awkward goodbye as she heads up to the seventh year dormitory, I am once again alone and exhausted in the Gryffindor Common Room.

At least today it's mostly empty. I settle myself into a chair into the corner and pull a book out of my bag. It's a comfortingly sized book by a woman called Virginia Woolf, given to me by one of the younger muggle students. I am hardly more than a page into learning about Lappin and Lapinova before I feel an urgent tap on my shoulder.

I look up and smile as I see Alicia's grave face. "Pats is back. I demand to know if there was kissing."

I blush and look away. Alicia hovers over me expectantly. When I make no sign of intending to speak, she sighs and takes my hand, once again leading me across the Common Room.

"Special sofa. Sit." I obediently comply with her firm instructions. "Now talk." I am less obedient. "Come on, Katie! Was there kissing?"

I hesitate, and respond with a single shake of my head.

Alicia's demeanor changes as her shoulders relax, but her gaze is no less expectant. "So? What happened?"

"I can't talk about her with them all around," I say, jerking my heads towards the other Gryffindor students.

"Fine." Alicia crosses are arms. "I can wait.

We wait.

The moment that the last fourth year climbs the stairs to bed, Alicia turns back to me so quickly that her hair whips across her face. "Spill," she demands.

I can't help but smile at her patience and resolve, but I don't know where to start.

"Come on, Katie," she whines. "Out of everyone in the school, this was the one girl you wanted to go out with most. You can't hold out on me!"

"Well," I begin, "I thought she was cute since I saw her at try outs."

Alicia lets out a compulsive sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh. "Are you kidding me? She was a wreck! I mean, a cute wreck, but…"

"I know, she couldn't hit a Bludger. Or hold a bat… But still, she could fly!"

"I suppose," Alicia grants.

"Turns out she normally plays Chaser, she was just trying her shot at the only position open," I explain. "Besides, I figured at least I had something to talk about with her. And, you know, Quidditch girls are the cutest."

Alicia's eyes gleam. "You don't have to tell me."

I return Alicia's smile, thinking back on the memory of Pats, so confident on her broomstick and in her demeanor, struggling to make sense of something as unfamiliar as a Beater's bat.

"Well, did you?" Alicia prompts me.

"Huh?"

"Did you have something to talk about?"

"Oh, right." I compose myself. "We definitely did. It was kind of crazy. We have all the same classes, know all the same people… Even ride the same broom! I didn't think I'd ever be able to talk so much on a date.

"That's great!" Alicia's face glows with pride for me.

"Well, kind of not…" I mutter.

"What now?" Alicia asks, her chest sinking.

"All that we had in common, the way we talked… It felt more like the stuff or friendship than of romance."

Alicia looks at me sympathetically. "But, you said she was so cute – "

"Yup. Cute and totally unkissable."

"I'm sorry," Alicia says, rubbing my shoulder with reassuring gentleness before she claps her hands together with renewed determination. "Alright. We just need to find someone who you have slightly less in common with, but isn't as different as Verity."

I peer at Alicia with timid hopefulness.

"Would you ever date a Slytherin?"

I bite my lower lip, which can't help but twist into a coy smile. "Depends… are you thinking of the same Slytherin I'm thinking of?"

I float into the Common Room, a dreamy smile upon my face. I see Alicia laughing at the staircase with a pair of friends, and I automatically drift towards our special sofa as I wait for Alicia to join me. Alicia, who somehow worked her magic and got me a date with the dreamboat of the school, Daphne Greengrass.

I sit still for several minutes with the pleasure of my own thoughts before realizing I am still alone. I make eye contact with Alicia and jerk my head, beckoning her towards me. With a start, she bids farewell to her friends and rushes to my side.

"Well?" she asks eagerly before she fully sits down.

"Amazing," I whisper. "Like a dream."

Alicia claps a hand over her mouth. "You're kidding!"

"Oh, ye of little confidence," I tease jovially.

"Well then, convince me!" Alicia teases right back. "With details."

Her words make me giggle, and the smile does not fade from my lips as a describe the scene of the evening. "She took me up to the Astronomy tower. She had a whole picnic of food from the kitchens laid out, and she conjured these amazing floating flowers… The whole place smelled of rose and jasmine. And the open air and the starlight… It was like something out of a fairy tale."

"Was there dancing?" Alicia asks in awe.

"No, you silly romantic, but there was – "

"Kissing?!" Alicia interjects with jubilant enthusiasm. "Was there kissing?"

I pause for dramatic effect. "Thoroughly."

Alicia tackles me with an outburst of unbridled delight. "And then what, and then what?"

"Well, then we stopped."

Alicia disentangles her arms from around my neck to look discerningly into my eyes. "What do you mean? For more kissing, right?"

I shake my head. "No – I couldn't…"

"Are you insane?" Alicia asks with genuine concern. "The most eligible babe in the school takes you on a dream date, and halfway through making out with her you decide – what?"

I look down at my hands as my fingers weave absentmindedly in and out of each other. "I just didn't think it was what I wanted."

"And what do you want?"

I have no response to give her.

"Wow." Alicia whistles. "I never imagined you as so picky." We sit in a shared state of discontent, until at last she speaks again, this time in a much gentler tone. "Katie?" she asks. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

I nod immediately. "It's like I'm learning…" I stumble over my words as they fall out of my mouth, "what I want."

Alicia considers for a thoughtful moment. "Maybe it was too much to send you out with a Slytherin."

I say nothing.

"That's right – all those preconceived notions," she pushes on. "What you need is a blind date."

"Blind?" I repeat uncertainly.

"Sure! Hey, do you know Sally-Anne Perks?"

I shake my head.

"Perfect!" Alicia asserts in a confidence that I cannot share. "She just came out recently too. A Hufflepuff – doesn't that sound doable?"

I force a smile for her. She wants this so bad for me that I'm starting to think perhaps that matters more than what I want.

"So… Sally-Anne – cute, right?"

I shrug.

"Well, did you have a good time?"

"I guess so," I say noncommittally.

Alicia throws her head back in a groan of frustration. "Come on, Katie, details!"

"I don't know what to say. She's nice and all."

"But?" Alicia demands.

"I don't know… She picks at her food."

Alicia looks at me like I'm insane. "Are you kidding me? That's your great complaint?"

I pull at the sleeves of my robes with anxious fingers. "And she has a funny laugh."

"You're killing me here, Bell."

We lean back into the comfort of our special sofa together, each less than satisfied with the outcome of the evening. Around us the last of our fellow Gryffindors are packing up their things and heading up to bed, yawns and grins upon their faces.

"You know, Katie," Alicia begins tentatively, "You don't have to push yourself on my account. You've been amazing. I don't mean to pressure you more than – "

"No," I interrupt, squeezing her hand. "You've been great. I just haven't been out with the right girl yet."

"Don't give up. You'll find her," Alicia assures me.

I smile and cuddle closer into the comforting warmth of her body.

"Okay," Alicia says brightly, once again adopting her signature businesslike tone. "What haven't we tried yet?"

"I don't want to date a stranger," I mumble, half of my voice lost into the fabric of her robes.

"Nope, we've tried that. What else?"

I pause in habitual silence, but she invites the words out of me. "I don't want to date someone just like me."

"Check." I can almost feel Alicia's brain working through the inventory of every queer girl she's ever met.

"I don't want to date someone I don't agree with."

"Naturally," Alicia concedes, her voice slowing with thought.

"I don't want to date a fairy tale."

Alicia is still, silently computing my words as she compares them to the unspoken whispers of my soul.

Alicia and I sit down simultaneously upon our sofa, matched in the rhythm of our familiar ritual.

"So…" she begins with that smile in her eyes that I have come to recognize through are evenings together, "How was your date?"

There is no holding back the smile on my face as I confess, "Kind of perfect."

"Tell me more," Alicia entices me.

"Well… She took out on the lake. It was calm and beautiful, but not too extravagant. We walked back up to the castle just as the sun was setting, and holding her hand was the most beautifully natural thing."

Alicia's eyes glow with contented pride. "And then?"

"And then she took me to one of my favorite places in the world."

"And?" Alicia asks in a whisper.

"Yes?" My voice echoes her in volume and eager intensity.

"Was there kissing?"

My answer is hardly more than the faintest release of breath as I mouth, "Hopefully."

Before the words seem able to fully materialize themselves, Katie's lips are upon mine, her arms intertwined with mine. The kiss seems too perfect to believe, and yet I know I could never turn away from it, this sweet fulfillment of the yearning that has built within me, now the perfect end to the perfect first date.

"What are you thinking?" Alicia requests as our lips part, our foreheads leaning tenderly against each other.

"That I'm about to have my first second date."