Disclaimer:I own none of this.
This is my first time writing a funny fic.
Cloud stood in front of the group of the Highwinder looking at thw sky. Tifa was sitting there patting Red behind the ears when it happpened. Cid started to look weird and crazy. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I can't take this shit no more!" Cid ripped his clothes showing his boxers. He grabbed his satff and started to threaten the crew. "Uh, guys I think we're entering the unzone behind Midgar." Vincent said as dodged Cid's strike. Cait Sith then somehow was speaking tounges. "What the hell?" Cloud said as he watched his friends go crazy. Cid stabbed one of the members in the chest and tossed him aside. Cait Sith satrted to talk with a Mexican accent. "What the fuck are you looking at?" Caith Sith pointed to Cloud. Cloud looked shocked and stared at hin as he walked over. "What am I a ho. You think you can take Latino Heat!" Caith Sith punched on Cloud and started to attack him.
Barret walked in seeing the whole deck going crazy. Vincent fire his gun at the ceiling sing a old folk song. "Whatt he hell?" Barret felt some heat come over him and his hair started to grow. His clothes changed into some disco threads. "Yo, dynamite." Barret said as he picked out his afro. He joined th march of idiots in the pilot room. The ship seemd to have stopped in the zone and the longer it stayed the crazier they got. Tifa walked in seeing Caith Sith rise from a beaten up Cloud. "Next time your ass is grass and I'm going to smoke it!" Caith Sith walked away till he saw Tifa. "Hey, babe come here." Barret walked in front of her. "Don't listen that crazed bitch. She will cut you dick, man!" Barret said as walked over to Cloud. Cloud opened his eyes looking at a fucked Barret. "Yo fool, you just got knocked the fuck out! HAHAHA!" Barret walked away puling out a bottle of Codyak. Cloud got up and saw Cid, who seemd to have stop his mass carnage, rocking in a corner balled up. "Hi daddy. What's that thing? No, daddy put away! AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Cid seemd to be having flashbacks of his childhood. Cloud seemd to be the most sane person on board. "Where's Red XIII?" Cloud looked around for the red lion-cat thing. He then heard a crash in the cargo room.
Cloud somehow managed to escape the crazy fest in the pilot room. He walked up to the cargo door and opened it. A loud thud was heard from inside as bottles of beer was littered on the ground. "Hey, look everybody. It's tight ass! HAHAHAHA!" Red XIII was already to drunk to realize he was hitting his head on the wall. Cloud cocked an eyebrow and backed away. Red XIII looked behind himand saw his tail. "Oh, shit! I'm on fire! Someone put it out!" Red grabbed a bottle of Burbon and poured it on his tail. The flame grew even greater. "AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Red ran around the room trying to put outthe flame.
Cloud was in the main hallway and noticed smoke coming from the stable. He pushed the curtain aside and saw Yuffei smoking a gaint blunt. Barret was beside her with a giant bong. One of the chocobos was knocked out and it looked like he have smoked somehting too. Barret now had braids down to his ass. "Hey mon!" Barret waved to Cloud. Yuffie's eyes were as red as the lgihter's flame she had in front of her face. She lit the blunt and started to puff slowly and passed it to Cloud. "Come on, Cloud." Cloud still remebered that he was the only sane person on baord and it wouldn't make since if he wasn't doing anytime stupid. Cloud took the smoke and puffed it. Barret and Yuffie looked on as he looked at the bud then puffed agian. Eyes flashed wide open for a mintue and then slumpy grin came over his face. "That's the shit." Cloud said laughing afterwards. Yuffie and Barret lughed with him. Vincent came in wearing cowboy clothes with a hat. "Well, howdy!" Vincent said as he sat down. Barret smoked some of the bud and passed it to Vincent. "No, I don't smoke." Vincent said in the most hickest way he knew. "Take it mon. It's dosen't hurt." Barret said as he stuffed it in his mouth. Yuffie then felt a tingle insode her. "What the?" Cloud also felt it. "Huh?" Barret then noticed the people around him was becoming women. Vincent took the weed from his mouth and noticed that he felt like he was on fire. "Cloud, I always tought you were sexy." Yuffie said sitting on his lap. Barret shook his head and his vision wen tnomral. Vincent felt his 'lizard' 'spitting' on itself. Barret smelt piss in the air. "Now. If the weed is telling me right Vincent just pissed in his pants." Barret point ed to Vincent. "Darn right, buddy. I done pissed my pants." Vincent ran out. Barret then felt a wave of hungryness cover his body. "Shit mon. I'm hungry." Barret got up and left too.
Cloud started to touch Yuffei when then cutain came up again. "Not you bitch-ass again?" Caith Sith walked in zipping his 'zipper'. Tifa came on there fixing her hair. "You slut!" Tifa went over and slapped Yuffie. "You didn't tell me you went both ways." Cloud rose from his seat and looked at te group. "Where's Cid?" they all said together. They ran to the deck. The only thing there wad the buring bodies of the crew. "The outside deck. " the group left for the deck. They opened the door looking up seeing Cid on top of the Highwinder. "Top of the world MA!!" he ripped his boxers off and raised his hands. "Man, and me without a camera." Tifa said under her breath. Cloud squinted his eyes. "Is jacking off?" a stream of white ligiud hit Cloud inthe face with full capsity. Yuffie stuck out her tounge and licked. "Whip cream?" Cloud finally woke up fromhis nightmare. Looked around and saw that everybody but the crew went to sleep. Cloud noticed Tifa and Yuffei sleeping together holding each other. Barret and Vincent with cowboy hats on with a empty bottle Burbon. Red ahd a bandage on his head. Caith Sith witha latin car magazine on his face. "Cid...where's." Cid was lying next to him naked. Cloud screamed like a girl.
This a true story me and my friends did this Spring Break. Too
bad my older sister was in the mox cause I was about to score! And yes,
the Mexican guy whipped my ass because I looked at him. He was twnety and
had muscles and I'm one skinny mother fucker, okay! See at the movies!