A/N: Originally posted on HPFF on 9/13/15. Inspired by the song "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret. Written for the Bexcellent Shuffle Challenge and 3rd Place in MuggleMaybe's (Super) Microfiction Challenge.
Trigger warning: emotional and verbal abuse.
Eleanor Midgen sits alone in front of the fireplace, her hand resting tenderly over her rounded stomach as she hums a shadow of a lullaby. The notes waver in and out of being, but the smile does not fade from Eleanor's face.
"Oh, dear little Eloise," she murmurs to the child growing within her. "You're my sweet everything, and you'll have it all."
The glow of a beautiful future passes over Eleanor's eyes. "There's nothing I won't do for you. You, dear one, will be a winner."
"Mummy, why can't we go outside?"
"Hush, dear." Eleanor squeezes her daughter's hand and searches the room for a distraction.
"But Mummy, you said we'd go to the city today," little Eloise whines.
Eleanor does not respond.
"Did Daddy turn off the fireplace again?"
Eleanor squeezes her eyes tight and, with a deep breath, turns to her daughter and explains in a chipper tone, "Yes, dearest. Daddy turned the Floo off so we won't go out and get lost. He's a good Daddy and he's keeping us safe."
"Do you get lost a lot?" Eloise asks innocently.
Eloise lays alone in her bed, eyes scrunched shut to block out the sounds as her father arrives home.
The thud of wood against the floor followed by a stream of curses confirms to Eloise that her father has been drinking and is in his typical foul mood. She lays extra still, as if pretending she is not there will stop him.
But she knows she is not his favorite victim.
Inevitably, the sound of her mother's footsteps come. The voices begin as heated whispers and rise to broiling shouts, as the time honored tradition of the Midgen household unfolds.
"Why did you marry Dad?" Eloise wants to know.
"Because he's the love of my life," Eleanor answers in her quiet, self-satisfied way.
Eloise stares at her mother in disbelief. "But really, of all the people – "
"Of all the people, he is the one who vowed to stay with me through thick and thin," Eleanor interrupts. "As far as I can see, that makes me a winner."
Eloise can't look her mother in the eye.
"Don't worry, darling," Eleanor reassures her child. "I'm sure somebody will love you that much one day."
"Hey Eloise, I was thinking. Would you, like, maybe want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
Eloise stares at Zach in disbelief. She had been the one girl nobody asked to the Yule Ball last year, and now somebody wants to take her on a real date?
"Wow, Zach, I don't know what to…"
"Say yes," Zach flashes an awkward grin.
"Well, okay I guess," Eloise fumbles.
"Brilliant! Wait for me by the fire and I'll take you to town– "
"No!" Eloise insists. "I mean… I'll get into town myself."
Zach raises a startled eyebrow and shakes his head.
"Mum!" Eloise calls as she rushes towards Eleanor through the crowded platform.
"Oh, my darling little winner," Eleanor beams, accepting her daughter's embrace. "We've so much to talk about!"
As they pull apart, a shadow of concern passes over Eloise's face. "You look so tired."
"Sleepless nights missing my little girl," Eleanor laughs with an unconvincing wave of her hand. "But tell me about this boy you wrote about!"
Eloise shrugs. "He was nothing special."
Eleanor clicks her tongue. "Give it time, and we'll catch you a man who'll never let go."
Eloise squeezes her mother's hand, but cannot smile.
Another date over, another empty chair.
Eloise sits alone in the restaurant as the evening winds down. She eyes the paid bill, the solitary proof that a date has happened here at all.
Eloise lets out a disheartened sigh. She knows that he wasn't for her, and she proudly stood her ground. She's not one to let someone say such offensive things and expect her to remain silent. She should be proud, she tells herself. She has her principles. She stands her ground.
Still, she can't help but feel like a loser.
"Why do you keep your father's name if he's so awful?" Nicolas demands.
Eloise's face flushes. "Well, it's not his name."
Nicolas stares at her blankly. "Well, yeah. It is."
Eloise narrows her eyes in concentration, trying to summon the words to explain. "But it's also my mother's name, and has been for as long as I've known her. And it's been my name for my whole life. He can't touch that."
"But it was his first," Nicolas repeats slowly.
Eloise breathes deeply to keep herself from swearing at him.
It makes no difference, she knows the date is over.
Eloise Midgen sits alone in the cemetery, her hand resting tenderly over the rounded top of her mother's grave.
"You'll be sorry to know I haven't settled down yet," Eloise admits. The cold September air seems to whisper Eleanor's regrets.
"But I haven't given up. I hear your words every day."
Eloise stands, wiping grass from the back of her robes. She hesitates over the grave, knowing that her mother would be unsatisfied by these words. She only ever wanted one thing for her little girl.
"I'm going to be the winner you always wanted me to be," Eloise vows.