Please Note: The structure of the story is to make is a multi chapter with small one shots interwoven here and there. Little snippets of the lives of those people close to the couple. Chapter titles will reflect who it's about and give an idea of what it's about. Each chapter and sections are told in first person, please keep section titles in mind so you know who is speaking.

Chapter 1

Clexa: After the City of Light

Clarke

I had come undone by the sound of Lexa's heart stopping, the steady buzz of the monitor had been like a blade thrust through mine. There had been times I hated her, admired her, threatened her life, or fought to save it. Never had I known what it would be like to lose her. The agony that laced through me was telling in emotions I had barely started to comprehend or the relief that flooded in me the moment I heard her say my name, the profundity of it is indescribable.

We were alone as I lay beside her on the narrow hospital bed; unable to met her jade green eyes, but feeling them fixed upon me. I trace with shaking fingertips the planes and angles of her face; relieved that she was there, completely and fully. So I could finally tell her how I felt.

"I…," I began, still afraid to say the words. "I had lost you," I said instead, stating the obvious, letting her hear the trembling of my voice.

"I am here, Klark," Lexa answered quietly, rubbing my back up and down the motion soothing and affirming.

"I…," I said trying a second time. Still the words would not come and I was angry that I couldn't say what I needed to aloud. "I know, we can't make promises that keep us safe."

"No, hodnes, we can't."

I didn't try to say it again. "Can we...," I pause, trying to clear the lump in my throat. "Can we at least promise to be together?"

"Sha," Lexa said her tone clear. I watched as her hand came to rest beneath my chin. Her thumb beginning to stroke my bottom lip. I knew she waited for me to look at her. To meet her green eyes with my clouded blue. I was still scare to look at her directly, fearing she was but a dream that would fade the moment I looked to closely. Eventually knowing she would wait forever I found the courage to look her in the eyes. My breath hitched, the moment my eyes met hers, reeling at the intensity of the love that shone bright. It set my heart ablaze, consuming all my fears and doubts. " I love you Klark," she said enunciating every word. "Will you be mine, so I can be yours? Will you bond with me Klark kom Arkadia?"

Her words were like the opening of a locked gate, courage filled me as I answered. "Yes," I said, placing a kiss to her lips, as I tasted the salt from her eyes. "Ai hod yu in seintaim, Leksa."

Lexa

My return from the City, was like waking up from a dream, a very trying, onerous dream. My body and mind exhausted, at the dysphoria I felt as my inner world and my outer world collided around and within me. Everything I had experience felt real. The pain I felt there was mirror here. My physical body had been push to it's limits, just as my mind had been during my time in the City. Luckily my black blood helped with physical healing process, my mind was another matter.

I was moved to a small private room for observation. A curtain hung from the doorframe offering the room some illusion of privacy. Abby had ordered that Clarke and I take it easy. I had made a show to huff and growl at the demands. My weak complaints fell on deaf ears when both Titus and Indra agree with the Fisa's decision. It would appear my people and Clarke's had learned some measure of cooperation. With Clarke's gentle, restraining hand to my shoulder, I relented.

In truth I was happy for the time. There was much I needed to think about and knew I couldn't if I was required to take up the responsibilities of being Heda. Something I was no longer sure about.

The revelations I had learned while in the city would have a rippling effect amongst the Clans. The Commander's Spirit and my position would now be on tenuous ground. I needed time to decided what to do. Figure out how much should I divulge to my people. The Commander's Spirit was still a useful tool, it still contained the memories of the past Heda's which now included that of Fos Heda Becca. Becca's additional presence was both a welcomed and a source of concern. I now knew the truth of Her and her grandson, the First Fleimkepa's, actions at concealing the true nature of the Spirit and the manipulation of the people's beliefs and fears and how it related the horrors of Mount Weather. It was something I knew needed to be address. It was something that would effect every decision I made moving forward. My thoughts were troubling as questions swirled in my mind. What changes would occur if a new leader didn't have the spirit? What if the Commander was no longer only a natblida? True, a common blood was not suited to house the Spirit, but could still have on it's council a natblida that could. Was the leader better because of the presence of the Spirit? How would my people react to finding out it's connection to the Ark and the Skaikru that had come down? That the Spirit was really a piece of their tech and not a thing of myth. With the the mountain felled, and the Azgeda under control; the need for a Heda seemed redundant. Could I begin the process of establishing a new form of Leadership? Was it something my people would spurn? Should I even bother? Until I knew for certain, bringing Arkadia into the Coalition did not seem wise. Instead the best I could do was offer an Alliance based off of my Bonding Ceremony to Clarke. As my wife and until the matter was settled it would ensure that her people could still have my protection. I knew I would have to talk to Clarke soon. Thankfully, word hadn't really spread beyond the borders of Arkadia.

For the two days leading up to my release Clarke never left my side and I relished every moment. During the day, I would hold her in my arms as she recounted the stories of her time amongst the stars. She held nothing back, offering up the good as well as the bad. Sometimes when I needed my space to think and understand all that had happen, but not wanting not wanting to be alone, she would sit quietly sketching in the sketch book I had gifted to her before leaving for Arkadia.

Sometimes during random moments her body would tense suddenly. During those times she would nestle her face close to my neck, her nose nuzzling it as she breathed in deeply, and placing her hand on my heart. Eventually her body would relax, and she would continue on as though nothing happened. I was content to follow her lead.

Clarke

My time with Lexa, was cathartic. My happiness at having her back and being asked to bond with her were overshadowed by the memory of losing her. My heart and mind were still reeling from the pain. At times my chest would constrict painfully and I would need to bury my face in her neck, breathing deeply, using her scent to calm my tattered nerves. Placing my hand to her chest; I needed to feel the steady rhythm of her heart to reassure myself that she was alive. She was tolerant of those times, letting me take what I needed. Allowing me to touch her skin drawing abstract patterns with the tips of my fingers. Her body shuddered in response to my touch. I smiled enjoying her reactions, which helped to ease my fears; reminding me she was safe.

I said 'I love you' often, because I need her to hear it as much as I needed to say it. Her eyes would lit up before bringing our forehead together and whispering it back to me.

I could feel a difference in Lexa, an emotion I couldn't place or understand. She would grow quiet during those times, needing a moment to process whatever had claimed her mind. The first time it happened I thought she wanted space, but what she really wanted was time. So I grabbed my sketch book and settled in against the headboard, making space for her to rest her head in my lap. In this position I felt like her protector, able to keep her safe and from harm. My heart fluttered in these moments, happy at this appearance of control.

The day of her release I felt an anxious desperate energy begin to bloom in my chest. Some need I barely understood, but which had taken over my every thoughts, demanded my attention. I tried to ignore it, tried to focus on the meeting with Kane, now that Lexa had been release from my mothers care. Her duties as Heda resumed. I hadn't heard a word of what was spoken. I hadn't realized that Lexa and Kane were now looking at me with concern or that Lexa had asked the meeting be adjourned for the day. I merely followed when she took my hand.

I stumbled behind her as we made our way to her tent, which had been moved closer to Arkadia's gates. Her bed had been moved back as well. I stared at it unaware that Lexa was talking to me.

"What?" I asked confused after she shook my shoulder.

"I asked… If you are okay, Klark?" She asked, her brows furrowed in concern.

I stared at her, my mind was in a jumble. I was bundle of nerves and fears and need. I knew the only thing that could calm and quiet them Lexa.

Without warning I crash my lips to hers. I felt her momentary shock at my forcefulness, but it didn't take her long to recover, returning the fervent kiss. I began to fumble with the many buckles of her overcoat. Her deft fingers came and gently swatting mine away even as I continued my savage plunder of her lips. Soon her coat hit the floor. We broke apart briefly tearing our clothes from our bodies. She reached out with both hand to grip my hips hard… before pulling me in close. Gliding her hands over the swell of my ass to knead the soft flesh. I felt the wetness flood from my core as wrapped both my arms around her neck looking for leverage as I wrapped my legs around her waist. She carried me easily towards the bed, barely breaking contact as she settle her weight quickly over me, her lips leaving mine to attack the soft flesh of my neck. I gasp and moaned as she sucked on my pulse point, my answering shivered in response. As my body reacted her I knew I had felt incomplete without her and knew now as she lay over me I was truly Home.

I could feel my trouble emotions rolling off me in waves and Lexa responded to each. Matching my actions with her own. Tongues that demanded and were granted entrance to fight and twist with the need to taste. Hands moving over each others body to grope breasts, feeling the mounds of soft flesh react to each others touch as nipples pebbled. Groans and whimpers that sent shivers down spines. Mouths that sucked and tongues that tasted leaving behind evidence of the one who made them. Teeth nipping hips or thigh or anywhere else that need to be nipped. Free hands clawing at each others backs leaving marks, claiming the other as their own. "Mine," one said as the other breathed "Yours," in response before lips crashed together again. Our shared need was frantic, driven by the utter relief at being in each others arms. Skin on skin, sweaty, moaning and alive. Our Fingers thrusting together our bodies molded as one. Mouths forming O's as our bodies reacted and release our pleasure. Barely sated before starting again.

Lexa

I sat at my war table, twisting the dagger, Anya, my Fos had given me when I became her seken. I watched as the dagger sharp point created a hole in the tables surface. My thoughts filled with Clarke and the frenzied fucking we had just engaged in. I was surprise by just how much desperate need poured from her, needed to be calmed. It made me wonder just how deep her fear ran. Her strong emotion affected me as I was swept up in it's power. I had been taught that my death was not the end for the Commanders Spirit, I was but a host, a servant to it's whims and desires. I had forgotten that my death would in fact matter to those who cared. I had forgotten my beloved was of the sky and not the ground. Knowing what I knew now, knowing the truth of what the Commander's Spirit truly was even I felt uncertain.

"My love," I heard her say near the shell of my ear as she came to wrap her arms around me. I grab her hand maneuvering her to come and sit on my lap. I noticed idly she was wrapped in a bed sheet. I nuzzle my nose to her cheek, before pulling her face around laying a chaste kiss to her lip.

She hummed contented and I knew her fears had been calmed considerably. I enjoyed the feel of her skin as I rubbed circles along her back with my thumb as she rested her head to my shoulder. I knew that no matter what I would never tire of her company.

I know I should talk to her of the thoughts that trouble my mind. Of everything I had learn from the City of Light. Of wanting to flesh out an alliance and not a membership into the Coalition, using our bonding ceremony to cement the connection. Of the troubles that may soon shake my people with the knowledge of what Commander Spirit was.

I want to know what she thought about these things. I want her to be the voice to tell me I'm wrong, or I'm right, or she doesn't know. I want her to lead my people with me. Help make these decisions about how to move forward. I want our lives to start together, I'm impatient to wait. I know I should tell her all these things and more, but right now. Feeling her breath on the skin of my neck. Remembering the clearness of her once cloudy her blue eyes. I think perhaps instead I will tell her tomorrow.

"I love you, Klark."

"I love you, Lexa."