Set you free
I'll tell you a forgotten long love story; a love never had a chance to bloom, an eternal love in the wrong time, our love story.
The first time I saw him, an ethereal creature that more beautiful than Goddess itself, a being which not belong in this dirty world, he was an angel fallen from the heaven above. At that time we just a silly collage students, and me just a bystander who sat still at the sidewalk and my beautiful angel was already taken. Me, the silly jung yunho who wish upon impossible still watching cowardly.
His pure beauty made my knees bend, and without I known it, I was on his mercy. A fortune, we talk, a sparks and everything just flow on itself until finally we were together. He hold the key to my heart, at that second we known we were made for each other, if only time could stop at that happy moment, I didn't mind sacrifice that life just to let time freeze when you laugh at me.
Then the war came, everything was a chaos and a mess. Massacred everywhere, bombs fell down from the sky like a rain, a scream every second in every place just like a dead march on the funeral maybe that was the funeral for many who mourning the loss of loved one. The worst case scenario every people not hoping. We had no hope left, where was our home? Our friends? Our Family? Wondering if the corpse which laying down on the pavement was someone we known, scared, we prayed to God together, but do we really deserve to ask God when we abandoned Him for how so long? Making mistake again and again, maybe it was our punishment?
We fight for survive, both of us trying to find a safe shelter, but that was impossible in that completely ruined place, but my beautiful boojae never lost hope for the future. He said he want to see the future where we could look at the sky not because we scary if a bombs suddenly fell down, but to be grateful of the life we were given. A little kids running around in the street while carrying their school bag in the morning instead a gun strapped on their waist and a dead dark eyes which loss their innocent.
Then that day came, our safe place was being attacked, a bullets piercing our comrades, too many death, too many blood, then you my baby boojae being a selfless angel let your body hit by that cursed weapon for the sake of shield me, 'I love you' you coughed that to me while blood dripping from the wound in your chest and your head, 'thank you for loving me' you still talking and I still crying while the medicine team already treated your wounds, 'silly yunnie, you wouldn't get rid of me that easily, even if my body is destroyed, after all I life in your heart, nee' and I love you eternally was the only thing I could muttered to your ear again and again until my throat feel like a sandpaper.
Why? And you still sleeping in that bed
Why? You were beautiful even if you sleeping like that, but please open your eyes just one more time. Brain dead was what the doctor told me about your condition, was I selfish to not let you go? That beautiful doe eyes, I want to saw it just for the last time, why even the simple request like that couldn't be granted?
The war still raging endlessly, I sat hopelessly beside your sleeping body day and night for this long. But I known nothing would came if I just sat there doing nothing, that's why at least I decided to sold my soul to became a soldier. Maybe my reason was selfish one, but could you blame me? I would make them pay for hurting an angel, my beautiful kind boojae.
I stood that night before I departures to the war zone, what so funny was you still closed your eyes. Didn't you want to at least say goodbye to me boojae? Look, I even wear my soldier uniform just to show off in front of you, I just prayed that night if only miracle did happen and you suddenly woke up and said with your usual soft voice 'silly yunnie, my yunnie bear' like you used to be. But God was being stingy and won't give you back to me at least for one hour, or maybe I was the stingy one? You were definitely an angel, that's why God wanted you to came back to heaven, but I couldn't bear that and held you still in this world. I was selfish, but you still love me, that am why I couldn't let you go. Please forgive me.
We won, the long painful war finally ended. We thanks God and thanked him for his mercy, after this we al least could life peaceful again. I ran straight to my angel place, even if my wound still bleeding and I must walk a little bit awkward because my ankle got twisted but it was okay, I didn't even felt a tiny slightly pain. I just keep my pace to your room, I was too happy that I forget the world around me, I want to delivered this happy news to you, at least we could felt this happiness together.
But like usual, you still sleeping soundlessly, so pretty like always, as though the heart machine or the mask oxygen which connected to your body didn't disturb you at all. Didn't your back hurt boojae for being slept that long? At that time up till the day I stood beside your bed when the war finally over 8 years already passing since our first time meeting.
Days passed….. Or was it weeks?
And many years in the future, I stop counting to tell you the truth.
I was being old then with a grayish hair here and there, wrinkled skin. The old weary me which had it enough. I stood beside your bed, it was a ritual since the first time you came here but I couldn't be boring by that. You still pretty like you usually did, your hair was still black, a little wrinkled at the corner of your eyes, but the amazing thing was you still look ethereal with your flawless paleness skin. I still love you, always will and always do, but it was the time I set you free.
'I love you eternally boojae, annyeong' I whispered to your ears, just at that second I though you smile and the doctor cutting off all of your life support machine, a ling beeb and a single tear.
I set you free; to a place you rightfully belong. I give you back your wings to fly in heaven.
end