The True Evils of A Fire Demon
Hiei Jaganshi, a fire demon/ice demon sighed while on his favorite tree branch. He had gone thieving about two hours ago and was really bored.
The Spirit Detective, Yusuke Urameshi, walked up and called to Hiei.
"What do you want?" the bored fire demon asked, glancing at the detective with cold, emotionless crimson eyes.
"We're all going out to a dance club. Wanna come?" the teenage idiot asked.
"Hn," came the fire demons expected reply. "Why would I go with you anywhere?"
"I'll buy you dinner! I know your hungry and you do like French fries, don't you Hiei?"
The fire demon perked up at the word French fries. He really hadn't eaten and he did like French fries. He wouldn't even have to work for them either. "…Fine." He tried to sound like he didn't want to go and attempting to hide his small obsession for French fries.
"Chili cheese fries here we come!" Yusuke shouted as Hiei jumped down, landing in front of him.
"What are chili cheese fries?"
The boy smirked. "You'll see."
About twenty minutes later they were in front of a dance club with a boy who was actually a fox demon and a human who just one day got lucky and gained some power to fight with. Hiei glared at the human named Kuwabara and again hoped that something would smite him, hopefully Hiei would be the one to do it.
"Well, let's go," said the fox named Kurama, flicking some of his red hair back, away from his face.
Hiei froze as he saw how many people were in the club.
After ten more minutes and five dollars spent on chili cheese fries they managed to drag the reluctant demon inside.
They chose a table in the corner of the dark club. There were only three at the table. They had lost the idiot, Kuwabara, in the crowd and no one was truly surprised.
Hiei sat at the table trying to look invisible as he munched on chili cheese fries. If someone who knew him looked closely they could tell he was content as long as no one spoke to him.
Urameshi walked off to buy drinks after the fire demon drilled it into his head that he will not buy root beer.
Kurama tried to grab one of Hiei's chili cheese fries but the demon shot him a look that scared the fox half to death. "I think I'm going to dance for a while." He said with a very nervous smile on his face.
"Hn," was the fire demons reply once again.
Yusuke returned with a tray full of different foods and four giant glasses of Pepsi.
Hiei sniffed the drink and glared at Yusuke. "I said no root beer."
Yusuke blinked. "I didn't get root beer. I got Pepsi. It's different. It looks alike but it's not."
Hiei watched the glass with unblinking eyes for a few moment as Yusuke waved to Kuwabara, who finally found the table.
Kurama returned and took a sip from his glass.
Hiei looked at Kurama. "What's this?"
Kurama thought for a moment then took another drink. "Um, Pepsi if I'm correct."
Hiei trusted the fox a little more then the detective. He took a drink and realized it was different from the root beer that got him easily drunk. Hiei did what he always did and drank it fast. He ate another thing of chili cheese fries and soon had a happy grin on his face.
Yusuke grinned. "Look! I think I finally got him to loosen up!"
Kuwabara looked stunned. "Shorty is actually smiling!"
Kurama blinked and looked at the fire demon that almost never showed emotions. "Uh oh…" Nobody heard him over the loud pounding music…
The detective spoke. "Maybe we can get him to dance?"
Kuwabara laughed at the idea and Kurama was preparing for the inevitable.
'Hic!' was the next noise that came from spiky haired fire demon.
The three other boys stared at Hiei as a drunken blush made its way across his face. "HIC!"
Yusuke was the first to speak. "…What have I done…?"
Kuwabara started backing away. "Y-y-y-you know g-guys… I r-r-really have s-something im-im-im-important to d-do."
Kurama thought quickly as Hiei got up from the table. It's not just root beer but it can't be all sodas… he's had some before. Could it be the ones that are dark colored? "Hiei!" The drunk demon looked at the red haired fox. Kurama ran to the concession stand and grabbed as much chili cheese fries as he could. "I'll pay you back later, it's an emergency!" he told the owner and held up a giant plate of chili cheese fries for Hiei to see. "Come and get them, Hiei-kun!"
Hiei stared for a moment then looked at the people who were staring at Kurama and him. He studied the chili cheese fries for a moment then looked back to the humans. Kurama grabbed a fry and shoved it in his mouth. "Fine, I'll eat them."
That caught Hiei's attention. "HAND 'EM OVER!" He ran at Kurama as Kurama's emerald green eyes opened wide. "Oh dear Inari!" Kurama turned the other way and ran as fast as he could.
As Hiei practically disappeared Yusuke and Kuwabara were left behind staring.
Kuwabara turned the other way.
"Kuwabara, what the hell are you doing?"
"I ain't goin' after the Shrimp. Kurama has it under control, right?"
"Yah, but this looks like it'll be fun!" the boy grinned and the ugly idiot followed.
Kurama zipped through a street almost getting hit by a car. "Not a smart thing to do…!" He ran down another street and glanced around for Hiei. A loud thud then a soft muffled 'ouch' gave the demon away. Kurama turned and looked up to a roof behind him.
Hiei had summoned a sword made of Darkness Flame and did not look happy. "GIVE! NOW!"
Kurama looked around in a panic and ran. "I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm DEAD!" Kurama turned a corner and found it was a dead end. "…..Okay. Time to panic."
A streetlight went dead as a fireball hit it. Hiei leapt down from the rooftops and stood. Even while he was drunk he made it look dramatic by taking out the streetlight his figure was silhouetted and his eyes reflecting red in the dim lights.
Kurama let some of his Youko take over and looked calmly but quickly for an exit.
Nothing.
The fire demon summoned the flame sword again and embers lit the air around him.
Kurama shrugged and thought a little more recklessly.
Do something he won't expect…I got it.
The fox demon ran at the fire demon and leapt over him. Hiei blinked and spun around, tripping over his own feet as Kurama made a mad dash for a hiding place.
Oh dear Inari…! I'm playing hide and seek with a psychotic, drunk, murderous fire demon who wants chili cheese fries and WILL kill me for them!
Hiei's boots tapping against the concert grew closer as Hiei whistled a little strange tune then started singing it in a haunting voice.
"Things go from bad, straight to worse. It makes people think, maybe you're cursed. You can hide and you can fight but your fate is sealed, 'cause you'll die tonight. I'm coming closer to my prize. Here I come my chili cheese fries."
Hiei-kun's REALLY drunk if he made THAT up…
"Come out you stupid fox," the demon said.
Kurama, who didn't think, blurted out. "I am NOT a stupid fox! I can defeat you in a mind game any day Hiei-kun--! …Oops…"
Hiei gave a wicked laugh and suddenly appeared in front of the fox demon. Kurama yelped and glanced at the chili cheese fries in his hand.
Once he gets these he'll go and attack the humans… and if that happens then he'll get arrested and Naoko-chan won't be happy about that…That's it!
Hiei summoned the sword again and Kurama pointed behind Hiei. "Hiei-kun! It's Naoko-chan!"
Hiei spun around. "Huh? I don't see her."
Kurama ran and slid right beside Hiei then got back up and ran. Youko Kurama mentioned something about being chased by a drunk crazy fire demon being fun and that he wanted a try but Kurama ignored him and ran, not even thinking about where he was going.
Just his luck. He ended up back at the club. "Ah-! How did I--?"
Hiei appeared in front of him, his Jagan eye revealed and glowing from being in Kurama's head and making him run around into a big circle. "I want those fries now, Fox!" Hiei lunged at Kurama and Kurama turned to run but the other demon caught his feet and tripped him. Kurama kicked wildly at the smaller fire demon and tried to get away.
"Hiei-kun! Let me go right now!"
"I want the fries!"
"No!"
"GIVE ME!"
"NEVER!" Kurama kicked dirt up into Hiei's face, blinding him and getting his Jagan.
Hiei recoiled and threw fireballs blindly at Kurama. Kurama saw a crowd of people gathering and panicked. "Oh no! Hiei-kun! Stop! I'll give you the chili cheese--!" The red haired fox was hit by a fireball and thrown backwards.
"Gotcha!" Hiei yelled.
Kurama slowly stood up, noticing the fries were spilt everywhere and only half were on the plate now. He looked at his torn and burned shirt and growled. He glared at Hiei and dusted himself off. "Hiei-kun, do not force me to hurt you." Youko wanted out now but the fox demon ignored his other half.
"You're the one who won't give me the fries, fox!"
"I just tried to."
"Hn." Hiei glared but the whole effect was ruined when he hiccupped.
"Hiei-kun, you're drunk." Kurama decided to try and reason with him.
"I am?"
Kurama about fell. "YES HIEI-KUN! YOU'RE DRUNK!"
"…..Oh…. I don't think I'm drunk…" Hiei pondered on this.
Kurama gave an exasperated sigh. "Don't hurt yourself thinking, Hiei-kun."
Hiei glared at the fox demon. "Hn." He put on a big grin. "I won't!"
Kurama stared at the other demon.
"Now… Give me those chili cheese fries!" Hiei ran at Kurama as Kurama's eyes widened and he turned the other way.
The fire demon felt extra weight drag him down. "Don't worry Kurama! We've got him!" Came the detective's voice.
"Hold still Shorty!" said Kuwabara's.
Hiei bit his lower lip and grinned, revealing fangs that were almost always hidden. "Baka ningens," he muttered and then flames surrounded his body and the others were forced to let go.
"Okay, we don't have him anymore… RUN KURAMA!" Yusuke shouted as Hiei threw Kuwabara through a brick wall while swearing vividly at the two humans.
Kurama ran as fast as he could. He felt the presence of someone else in his head and let Youko deal with it.
Hiei jumped off a roof and tackled Kurama again. They went rolling and somehow the fries stayed on the plate.
Youko put on his best chibi look and asked Kurama if he could come out to help and Kurama (Who was exhausted now) gave in.
They quickly switched places and Youko stood up, easily knocking Hiei off of him. His ears twitched and he dusted himself off. "Well, this will be interesting, won't it Hiei?" he asked as his silver tail swished.
Hiei blinked and looked around. "Where's the other Fox go?"
"Oh, he's trying not to pass out from lack of air."
"So… Are you gonna give me the fries?"
"No I'm not, you stupid little demon."
"'Stupid'?" Kurama was too tired to tell Youko to stop making Hiei mad. "I'm not stupid, baka kitsune!"
"But if I'm a baka kitsune then you're defiantly a stupid little demon because you must be stupider than me because I am sure enough not stupid because I, my short little friend, am a fox and you are a fire demon," Youko said, talking very, very fast.
The demon tilted his head in confusion and stared at the silvered haired kitsune.
Youko snickered. "Dumb ass."
Hiei understood that insult and growled then ran at Youko. Youko tossed the chili cheese fries behind him and drew his Rose Whip as Hiei summoned another Dark Flame Sword.
They readied themselves for battle and went to attack until the heard the chili cheese fries hit something with a SPLAT.
Hiei and Youko froze. Hiei looked over Youko's shoulder as Youko did the same. Standing there, covered in chili cheese fries, was a very angry looking, apple green haired female fox demon/earth demon that was known as Naoko Youko. She growled, baring fangs. "Youko Kurama. If you were not my brother and if it wasn't for the fact that if I kill you Kura-chan will die as well I would SO kill you right now."
Hiei started snickering as Youko smiled one of his charming smiles. "Yes, I understand that little sister." Naoko growled louder. "I wuv you, sister." Youko put on his best chibi, innocent face. Naoko glared at him and walked over to Hiei.
"Hiya bootiful!" Hiei said in his normal tone of voice but with a chibi twist.
"Hi Hiei-sama. You're coming home with me. We're going home and you will stop causing all this pandemonium. Got it?" the fire demon's wife said.
Hiei stared for a moment. "….Okie-dokie!" The demon said happily and tackled Naoko.
Naoko sighed. "How'd he get root beer?"
"According to Kurama, he didn't."
"Then how in Inari's name did he get drunk?"
"Pepsi. Kurama thinks it might be sodas that get him drunk. At least all the ones that have dark coloring."
"Alright, Hiei-sama. No more sodas for you."
"But- but I want more! I want chili cheese fries too!"
"No. Now get up and let's go home."
Hiei gave a pouting look. "….okay, bootiful…."
"Good." Naoko stood up and helped Hiei (Who was stumbling) get up. "And Kura-chan. If Urameshi or Kuwabaka get my number from your cell phone, that you left behind, I will make sure you suffer for it. That's how I knew I had to rescue you. They called me."
Youko smirked. "He understands that very well, Naoko-chan. Good night." Youko disappeared, going off to get into kitsune mischief.
Naoko teleport Hiei (who was standing up, leaning on her shoulder and asleep) and herself home.
The next day Hiei woke up with a few bruises and a major hangover. Somehow, by a miracle, he didn't get in trouble for all the mayhem he caused last night. Or at least… he didn't get into a lot of trouble.