Okay, I know next to nothing about being a mentalist so I admit that I kinda skimmed over that difficult stuff. Just a fun short to follow up on chapter 16 of 30 Shades of Red (not the voted one, but something that sprang into my mind). Hope it's not too goofy. That last line is dedicated to House Calls. I'm sure Lisbon would have gone for that eventually, too. :D And thanks to Kathi-ann for pre-reading it! Also, I don't own them.
Malfunctions
"What was that?"
"Well, Lisbon, I would say that the elevator has stopped."
"Oh, really, Sherlock? Because I couldn't tell."
"Wow. I sense some animosity. Truly, I had nothing to do with the elevator's failing mechanisms."
...
"Really, I didn't."
...
"Lisbon?"
"Yes, Jane, I understand. The fact that I am stuck here with you in the elevator right before lunch has absolutely nothing to do with you."
"Glad you acknowledged that."
...
"Lisbon? Are you ignoring me?"
...
"You are. You're ignoring me. How insulting."
"Yeah, you sound all torn up. I'm simply trying to prolong the headache that will surely result from being confined in a small space with you."
"Now that's just cruel. I'm sure the headache may also be a part of your workaholic lifestyle and the fact that you cannot relinquish any control to others, thus feeling the need to run everything in your life."
"Nice. Now I can't even walk away from your so called 'readings.'"
"Hmm. It's actually quite nice."
"For you."
"...Lisbon? Wanna see a mind trick?"
"Do I really have a choice?"
"If you think you do."
"In other words, no."
...
"Stop grinning like that and show me the damn trick."
"Well, if you're going to be like that..."
"Jane. Stop pouting. You can do your trick."
"Now I don't want to."
"You clearly do. Go ahead."
"No. You wouldn't appreciate it."
"Oh, for crying out loud!"
"You're rubbing your temples. Do you have a headache, Lisbon?"
Cho hit the fast-forward button, skipping the next part of the audio recording. After all, there was over two hours of it. Rigsby looked like he was trying very hard, if unsuccessfully, to mask a grin. Van Pelt simply looked back at the men in coveralls, standing in front of the team with curious gazes.
"We were just hoping to talk to these two, maybe get a feel for how the control panel of the elevator was damaged," one of the maintenance men spoke earnestly. Cho, easily recognizing the rising irritation of Lisbon's voice on the recording, answered.
"They've both gone home for the day. Stress. How did you get this recording?"
"When the elevator becomes stuck, the recording system is part of the standard emergency protocol. Just in case, you know?" The other man replied. Rigsby nodded, gesturing for Cho to hit play once more.
"Lisbon."
"What?"
"Why are you glaring at me? I didn't cause the elevator to become stuck. Even I am not that talented."
The team could practically hear Jane's irreverent grin in his voice. They knew from experience that Lisbon would be trying to rein in her temper next.
"Fine. Yes, Jane?"
"Better, thanks. Wanna see another mind trick?"
"No."
"But—"
"No."
"I—"
"No."
It was clear that Lisbon's patience had ended. Van Pelt was surprised it hadn't earlier. She knew what Lisbon was like on an empty stomach. Not a pretty sight. Oddly, there was now a silence on the recording. The team sat, practically on the edge of their seats with expectation. The two maintenance men looked at each other, confused and wondering why the agents were listening to...three minutes of pure silence. Shrugging, they decided to humor them for a moment more. Another minute passed before a voice sounded.
"Lisbon?"
Rigsby couldn't hold it in any longer. A grin burst out, followed by a chuckle that turned into a laugh. Even Van Pelt couldn't contain her amusement. Cho, clearly still expecting something else, remained still. There was the sound of shuffling. Movement, Cho suspected, the clothes of the two of them rustling in the elevator.
"Um, Lisbon? What are you doing? I don't think that's a wise thing to do. You might—"
Suddenly, there was static immediately followed by silence. Cho looked up at the two men. Their expressions indicated that they obviously thought this 'Lisbon' had something to do with their broken system panel that contained controls of the elevator, the recording system, and the blinking emergency light.
"Sorry, fellows, seems that your equipment malfunctioned. Only explanation."
"But it sounds like—"
The man was interrupted by the entrance of another agent.
"Why are you all standing around? Forget how to run a case without Jane's parlor tricks? Van Pelt, shouldn't you be cross-checking the names of the company's clients with the victim's phone records? Rigsby, bring in the brother for questioning. Cho, look over his background check and prepare to do the interrogation."
Lisbon was definitely not in a happy mood. Rigsby nodded, any sign of mirth disappearing from his features. Van Pelt had already begun clicking away at her computer. Cho looked at his boss, not even raising an eyebrow. "Thought you were going home for the day?"
"That was just to get Jane to leave. I need to get some work done and with him here, a constant headache, that was never going to happen," she responded tersely.
The two men had been watching, careful not to make a noise lest they call attention to themselves. During the exchange, they had quickly figured out that this was Lisbon. And she looked very irritated. Suddenly her gaze fell on them, causing them to try to shrink their shoulders in a vain attempt to go unnoticed.
"Who are you two?"
Their panic showed through their widening eyes, making them look like deer in headlights. They looked to Cho. One was brave enough to speak as the other scrambled to the door. "Looks like you're right. Must've malfunctioned. Thanks!"
He practically ran after his coworker. Cho turned back to his desk. He knew they'd see the light. Seeing that they had left the recording, he put it into his desk drawer—it would be a great pick me up for a bad day. He definitely wanted to listen to the entire thing sometime. Bound to be amusing.
He wondered what had happened after the recording 'malfunctioned.' He was sure he'd seen some scratch marks on and around the emergency hatch. Who knew Lisbon was so resourceful?