Once Betrayed, Twice Shy
Disclaimer: I do not own Huntik or any of its characters.
Zhalia
My hands trembled as I scribbled my latest diary entry. The pen was running out of ink soon, from the way the letters formed semi-legibly on the page. My forehead creased and my brows furrowed as I thought about what had happened. I pressed the pen harder into the book.
I don't understand it at all. How could they have forgiven me so easily? I swear I should've used mind sight on them when I had the chance. I guess I was too trapped in confusion and guilt to even think of that.
Do I regret everything I've done? Maybe. But somewhere deep inside, I know that if I hadn't joined the Organization and infiltrated the Foundation, I wouldn't have met Dante. Perhaps joining the Foundation gave me hope of escaping the Organization and my past.
Life in the Organization was harsh. Fear gripped every corner of my being. A single mistake or any sign of disloyalty would mean hours of mind torture. I feared ending up under the mind control of the Professor. Sometimes I would wake up days later, not remembering anything. Severe headaches or throbbing pains would follow. Pain from injuries sustained in battle returned so quickly that I'd wish I were dead. It hurt like hell. The worst part of it all is the uncertainty of what I've done. What if I had killed someone? Family? Friend? Either way, the guilt stays with you for life.
But the Organization was the only place I could return to. It was my home.
Darn. I'm gonna need a new pen.