And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

"You're no good for me."

If there was ever a moment where I wished dearly I could read her thoughts, it was now. She looks confused, as expected; I'd given her no warning, so hint of what I was now doing, what I had to do. My face remains stony, sure, but my heart begs her. Bella, it cries, Bella, if there was ever a time you needed to see through a lie…

If she had just said the word. If she had just given a, "Oh, stop it Edward," a, "You can't be serious, Edward," then I'm sure I would have cracked. How much resolution can you have when leaving your true love? Even if this was best for her. Even if I'm sure she would be safer away from me. Even if she would be free to live her life, her human life. Even if without me, she could keep her soul, her salvation.

But my Bella accepts it, accepts the fact—the lie—that I was ready to walk out of her life forever. Could she really think that I could leave her so easily? My heart shatters more and more every moment of this dreaded conversation. It was necessary. Bella was not safe with me. It's time to grow up, Cullen, says the rational part of me. I'm done being selfish. And I couldn't stand to see her hurt because of who I am. Because I am a monster.

My body craves her touch, her kiss, to hold her against myself, as much as it craves her sweet blood. I want desperately to take her in my arms, to tell her I will never leave her. But I must leave, I must. Can't you see, Bella? The words I wish to say. I love you, you must never be hurt. I love you.

Even if I'm sure I'll never be happy again, even if I'll miss you every day of eternity, every day I walk this earth, I must do this, Bella. This is what's good for you. Even if you'd rather run with vampires…Bella, my Bella, you're better off without me. You can find a life without me.

The difference between you and I, Bella, is that you have a life to lead.

I just have an eternity to fill.

So much is left unsaid as I am about to leave her. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow. Romeo and Juliet had it easy; to die together and to have an eternity with each other in heaven. Someday my Bella will die, as well, and surely enter heaven. When that day comes I, too, will end my existence, and will surely enter hell.

Here is my last moment with Bella, my sweet Bella, my love. For one last time, I inhale her sweet sent, for one last time her blood calls for me, and for one last time I resist. Bella, I want to be with you.

But the truth is, I'm no good for you.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

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A/N: hope you like this. a little emo story for you :) i'm going a bit out of order with the song to fit the order of the story. reviews make me happy! next chapter will be up in three or four days (it's already written, but I don't want the whole story to come out at once). thanks for reading!

peace,

candyk8

p.s. i listened to iris over forty times in a row while writing this story ;)