Characters from Pride and Prejudice and Inuyasha do not belong to me.

Pride and Prejudice

Or

How to Turn Literature Into One of the Silliest Works of Fan-Fiction That Ever Existed.

Chapter One

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl in possession of a sacred jewel shard, must be in want of a protector.

However little known the feelings or views of such a girl may be on her first entering a village, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that she is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their sons.

'Rin,' Jaken said to her one day, 'have you heard that our shrine has a caretaker at last?'

Rin looked up from where she was stringing flowers together and shook her head.

'It has! And guess who has taken it? Oh, you'll never guess! It has been taken by a young woman with a shard of the sacred jewel! She came down Monday to see the place and was so delighted with it that she agreed to it on the spot!'

'What's her name?'

'Kagura. And she's single! A single youkai with a sacred jewel shard! What a fine thing for Sesshoumaru-sama!'

'What do you mean?'

'Don't be tiresome! He is a powerful youkai; she could marry him and then he could share the power from the jewel shard!'

'Is that why she came here? To find a protector?'

'How should I know? But she may fall in love with Sesshoumaru-sama, or one of the other two at least, so you have to run over and say hello as soon as she's moved in."

'If you want her to meet Sesshoumaru-sama, why don't you have him go?'

'Baka! What if she is hideous? If Sesshoumaru-sama is the first to meet her, she'll never settle for the others!'

'She may like Inuyasha or Naraku just as well.'

'How absurd! Sesshoumaru-sama is by far the handsomest, and strongest!'

'Then why would he need the jewel's power?'

'You are so vexing!'

'She may like you best.'

'Does no one understand how I suffer to deal with a rotten human child?'

'With as much as you complain about it, I'm sure the whole countryside knows.'

Rin was among the first to visit Kagura. She'd always intended to visit their new neighbor, being naturally the friendliest of their little family, but in front of Jaken pretended to the last that she would not go, just to annoy him. Observing her brother shoving food down his throat during dinner, Rin asked casually, 'Do you think Kagura likes rice balls, Inuyasha?'

'We won't know what she likes,' said Jaken resentfully, 'since you won't visit!'

'Oh relax, toad,' Inuyasha interrupted, 'we'll see her at the Spring Festival. Everybody's going.'

'If we're still invited that is, with manners like yours!'

'When is the festival?' Rin asked, trying to head off an argument.

'Next week,' Naraku replied. As the youngest brother, his head was full of nothing but women and the possible jewel shards they might possess. He always knew when the next opportunity to meet such women would occur.

'She won't come without an invitation.' Jaken shook his head mournfully.

'Our little festival hardly requires an invitation,' Sesshoumaru pointed out.

'Do possessors of the sacred jewel crash parties?'

'Only if they're serving sake.' Inuyasha smirked.

'I wonder if Kagura drinks sake?' Rin mused.

'I am sick of Kagura,' cried Jaken.

'Well you should have said so,' Rin replied calmly. 'If I'd known as much this morning, I wouldn't have visited and invited her to the festival.'

The astonishment at the table was just as she'd hoped, Jaken's perhaps surpassing the rest; though when the first tumult of joy was over, he began to declare that it was what he had expected the whole while.

Not all that Jaken could ask on the subject was sufficient to draw from Rin any satisfactory description of Kagura. He attacked Rin in various ways; with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, distant surmises, flames from his two-headed staff, but she eluded the skill of them all; and he was at last obliged to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbor Sango. Her report was highly favorable. Kagura was young, beautiful, intelligent, and to top it off—meant to be at the festival.

In a few days Kagura returned Rin's visit, curious about rumors of the three handsome youkai who lived there, but the men were out. They were more fortunate in seeing her departure as they arrived home, having the advantage of ascertaining that she wore a red and white kimono and flew on a feather.

An invitation to have Kagura dine with them was dispatched; and already had Jaken planned the courses that were to do credit to his noble youkai lineage that did notinclude fish on a stick, when an answer arrived which deferred it all. Kagura was obliged to visit a neighboring shrine the following day and consequently unable to accept the kind invitation. Jaken was in a snit. He could not imagine what business she could have in another shrine when she hadn't even fully moved into hers, and began to fear that Kagura might always be flying about from one place to another, and never settled at the local shrine as she ought to be. Sango calmed him somewhat, starting the idea that Kagura had merely gone to bring friends for the festival; and it proved true. When Kagura alighted from her feather at the assembly that evening, with her were her two brothers and another young lady introduced as a friend.

Kagura was in fact very good-looking and well mannered; she was witty and easy with strangers. Her brothers were introduced as Kouga and Ginta, two handsome wolf youkai, of which the elder had an air of decided princely-ness; but it was her friend Kagome which drew the attention of the room by her fine, shapely figure, lovely features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after her entrance, of her having a nearly whole sacred jewel. The ladies declared her to have the air of a priestess and the men declared her much prettier than Kagura, and she was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till her manners gave the indication that she was clearly uncomfortable with the mostly youkai company. Kagura had soon made herself acquainted with all the principal people and youkai at the festival, danced every dance and spoke of giving another festival herself at the shrine. In contrast, Kagome danced only once with Ginta and once with Kouga, declined being introduced to any other man, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the festival, speaking occasionally to one of her own party. Her character was decided. She was the proudest, most disagreeable woman in the world, and everybody hoped that she would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against her was Jaken, whose dislike of her general behavior, was sharpened into particular resentment, by her having slighted one of his charges.

Inuyasha, not much for dancing himself, sat down for the dances where Sango wasn't free; and during part of that time, Kagome had been standing near enough for him to overhear a conversation (near enough being across the room given his enhanced hearing) between her and Kagura, who came from the dancing for a few minutes, to press her friend to join in.

'Come on, Kagome! Dance with someone! I hate seeing you standing by yourself in this stupid manner.'

'No way! I hate dancing with strangers; and at this festival? Forget it. Your brothers are busy, and there is not another man here, whom it would not be a punishment to dance with.'

'How can you be so picky? Everyone here has been very nice, and several are very good looking.'

'You are dancing with the only handsome man in the room,' said Kagome, looking at Sesshoumaru.

'Don't I know it! But there is his brother sitting over there. He's got the same hair and eyes, and don't try to tell me you don't find his ears adorable. Come on! I'll introduce you.'

'Which do you mean?' and turning around, Kagome looked for a moment at Inuyasha, till catching his eye, she quickly jerked her gaze back to Kagura, face reddening through her scowl. 'They aren't adorable enough to tempt me. Go back to tall, striped and handsome, you're wasting your time here.'

So Kagura left her alone. Kagome wandered around the room by herself; and Inuyasha attached a less than flattering adjective to his mental image of her.

Despite this, the evening turned out well; according to Jaken anyhow since Sesshoumaru seemed especially favored by Kagura and Naraku had danced with every girl except for the snotty human Kagome, which was no big loss, he told Rin after they arrived home.

'She must possess quite a bit of the jewel to act as if she were above our festival. Inuyasha could care less what she thinks of course; but to act so conceited! Ears not adorable enough; what nonsense!'

For once, Rin agreed with Jaken.

(This was just a silly little diversion. I have no plans on continuing!)