OK so, this is so freaking entertaining for me. I stayed up till like 10 talking to these people who thought I was Loki and they were someone else XD if you want to read, go ahead, I just wanted to save these somewhere.

You: Hello, mortal

Stranger: Oh, hello...Thor?

You: Take another guess. Thor is too much of an oaf to use a Midgardian laptop correctly.

Stranger: Oh, hey Loki.

You: I applaud you, although I suppose that there aren't too many Asgardians known to Midgard. Hello.

Stranger: It's me, Bruce. We...met, but I was the other guy.

You: Ah. The other guy, not my favorite green monster.

Stranger: Neither is him with me.

You: I suppose you do not know many more beasts, however. But it surprises me, you seem quite...kind.

Stranger: Yes, it's only because if I let myself go, the other guy takes over.

You: So, if I antagonize you, I set the raging green monster on whoever is nearby?

Stranger: Depends. I tend to be in control of him as of late...it's odd.

You: That sounds like...fun. To create chaos wirelessly, in another dimension, sounds amusing.

Stranger: Not really.

You: I suppose is depends on your point of view. For me, being on palace arrest is quite boring.

Stranger: How'd you get the laptop?

You: I can use magic, it is quite simple. Although, most of my magical supply has been drained, I can summon petty things such as money, gold, laptops, food, whatever.

Stranger: Well, that seems nice. Why not buy your way out? I mean, Asgard has a method of bail, right?

You: No, of course not. I suppose I could mate with the head guard, but he is quite filthy.

Stranger: Why would you want to do that? You could use the internet, or read, or something.

You: Well, I am bored, and blackmailing the head guard with sex is quite entertaining. Reading, I've already read every book in existence on your planet.

Stranger: Oh? Even books yet to be written from my perspective?

You: Once they are on the internet, I have read them. It is quite simple, really. I am even aware of the emails Fury sends. Your science is much like simple magic, I can literally 'surf the internet'. I like the war games the best.

Stranger: Even such tomes as Ulysses? How about something a bit longer? How about...homestuck?

You: Yes. Although, I must say, your human literature isn't as interesting as Asgard. Where is the magic, the knowledge?

Stranger: Um...I feel like it's slowly being wasted away in areas, but fortified in others.

You: Well said. But you, Doctor Banner, would not believe how much there is on the internet about you.

Stranger: Oh...um...what about me is on the internet?

You: Everything, nothing. Your age, description, history, personal history, more things. Something known as MARVEL.

Stranger: MARVEL? I've never heard of it before.

You: Nor did I...it's our lives, in book or comic book form. And they filmed us fighting. How did they film us fighting?

Stranger: I am.

Stranger: I have no idea, I mean, it's not like Tony could've...oh shit. JARVIS has cameras throughout the tower, it could easily mean...

Stranger: He's taking our lives, and selling it?

You: I'm not sure...I mean, he even got in my talk with the Other, something that was only in my mind and his. So strange...

Stranger: I'm kind of weirded out by this now. It's sort of disturbing on how this all works...maybe there's something behind it all?

You: Hmm...perhaps it is the work of some higher up god or titan. And then there are these...stories. Disturbing stories..

Stranger: Such as what? I mean...it can't be worse than what's happened, right?

You: Oh myself...it can. It can be much worse. So much worse, doctor. And although it is not completely foreign to me, I'm sure that you have never done such things..

Stranger: Done such things as what? Is it so scandalous to assume I've been...doing illicit things?

You: *awkward silence*

You: Let us change the subject..

Stranger: No, I want to know what it depicts.

You: Uhh...normally it is you and the man of Iron or Captain America...having sex..

Stranger: What?

You: of course the most popular pairing is myself and Thor...

Stranger: I've never slept with either of them, but...Tony and Steve haven't made an advance on me, ever.

You: I have not slept with the man or Iron nor my brother, at least not in a few centuries. And they seem to be fake, however, they are quite disturbing.

Stranger: In a few centuries...meaning you've had sex with him?

Stranger: Well, at least it hasn't gone so far as to me having sex with Thor, or you doing it with Tony...

You: Of course. Why wouldn't I. I have not 'done it' with Iron Man, for he is too old and mortal.

Stranger: Aren't you two brothers?

You: Well, we are not by blood, but we didn't know at the moment. He was drunk, I was drunk, and it just happened.

Stranger: Oh...wow. I didn't know that.

Stranger: And...the last time I've done it, was...well...I can't even remember.

You: Yes, well, I'm pretty sure that I had recently done it with the Other, although i don't exactly remember. I've had about 5 children, two living happily, one the ruler of Hell, one a wolf banished and chained on an island, and the last my father's steed,

Stranger: The other? And...how did you give birth to animals? I mean, you're a guy? Unless you have some sort of ability to mother creatures and create the organs to make that happen.

You: I gave birth to a horse with 8 legs, the others I did not give birth to. Believe it or not, I do have a wife.

You: I was a mare at the time, by the way.

Stranger: Oh. So...was the fling with Thor while you were married?

You: No. It is a long tale.

Stranger: Oh.

Stranger: How long are you going to be in Asgard?

You: For another 25 years, although I did manage to get out of the palace today. So maybe another few years before I can escape.

Stranger: I see, so...what do you plan to do when you get out?

You: Cause chaos, etc. Nothing major, jsut a few pranks, walking traffic cones, bendy street lamps, the works.

Stranger: Okay, if it was more, I'd have to tell Thor.

You: That would be fine, go ahead and tell him anyway.

Stranger: Why? You want some attention?

You: Not exactly, it would just be amusing to see him so disappointed that I would go back to tricks.

Stranger: Why would it be amusing?

You: I must be going now, the prison guard is approaching, and I don't wish to be caught. It would simply be entertaining to see his face when his 'baby brother' resorts to mischief again.

Stranger: Alright, talk to you later...maybe