Title: Burn It Down
Author: Mon Petit Pierrot
Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers / Harry Potter (#5)
Rating: T (for safety)
Summary: The nations are recruited to protect one Harry Potter from the dark forces surrounding Hogwarts. That is, if they don't kill each other first.
Warnings: slight crack, parody, rated T for safety, not to be taken seriously.

Pairings: America/England, Spain/Romano, Germany/Italy, Russia/China, Austria/Switzerland, Prussia/Canada

Note: I'm so glad that you decided to give this crazy idea of mine a try! (And yes, I know that I have to update Tomate Italiano Poco - I'm working on it, promise!) I have always wanted to write something like this, and the image of the nations pissing off Umbridge has been forever stuck in my head. That was the sole inspiration to write this. So I warn you again to NOT take this seriously. This was written partly for my amusement and hopefully yours. Please enjoy!

- Burn It Down -

Chapter 1

Flare up and burn it down
from corner to corner with that hellfire
don't leave a single trace
burn down even their souls

Harry was ecstatic – as much as he could be in his current situation, without information – that he would finally be freed of the clutches of living with his aunt and uncle. He wouldn't have to see them for several months. It didn't really matter to him where he was going.

Lupin beckoned to him and led him outside, looking around cautiously. Harry caught sight of a slim figure standing at the edge of the dry lawn, staring up into the clear sky. From what he could see, it was a man with short, scruffy blond hair and bright emerald eyes that almost seemed to glow in the darkness.

As he followed Lupin, Harry noticed that the man wore very formal clothing he imagined that Muggle teachers would wear. He could hear soft chanting in a language he didn't recognize, noticing that the strange man had spread out his hands as though he were embracing something.

"Arthur!" Lupin hissed, stopping at his side.

The chanting stopped and Arthur turned towards him, a small frown settling briefly on his face as his eyes flicked towards Harry. The sour expression disappeared instantly. "Good evening, Harry," he said warmly, smiling.

"Uh…good…good evening," Harry stuttered. He was a bit surprised that this Arthur person was not staring at his scar, but was instead greeting him like an old friend.

"It really is a pity that your only family left is full of bloody gits, you know," Arthur murmured, running a hand through his hair as he sighed. "I'm almost ashamed."

"Yes, quite unfortunate," Lupin said, searching the sky before he mounted his broom. He motioned for Harry to do the same as Arthur climbed on behind the werewolf. "Fly high and follow me. We must be very careful."

Harry nodded in consent, keeping his eyes on the sky above and trying to ignore Arthur's chanting. He wondered vaguely if it was some sort of spell. There was something off about the blond man, something that was alien and familiar at the same time.

If the events of the past year had anything to go by, he was sure that there was a reason.

Harry stared incredulously at the old house that materialized out of nowhere. He heard Arthur chuckle and a hand clap on his shoulder. "Come on, Harry. Everything will be made clear once we go inside."

Numbly, he allowed Arthur to guide him up the stairs with Lupin following. He noticed that the blond didn't have to produce a wand to obtain entrance, and that the door simply swung open to admit their party.

The interior was just as cheery as the outside, with high walls and a drafty feel among the covered paintings and cobwebbed chandeliers. The hallway opened up to a foyer with the winding staircase and a wide room that was bare of any decorations, but had several closed doors leading to somewhere.

What was this place?

"Harry!" And all of a sudden, he was being hugged by the familiar embrace of Mrs. Weasley. "How are you, dear?" She turned to Lupin. "He's just arrived now, the meeting's started," she informed him quickly.

Lupin nodded and slipped past Harry towards the open door at the corner of the room. His body tensed as if to follow, but Mrs. Weasley noticed and shook her head. "The meeting is just for members of the Order, Harry. Ah…Arthur…could you take Harry to the others, please? I must be getting back to the meeting."

Arthur smiled. "Of course, Molly. Get back to meeting. Follow me, Harry." He turned towards the farthest door and opened it, disappearing inside. Harry followed him and was surprised to find a wide room with dusty red couches and shelves full of unidentifiable objects.

"Iggy! You're back!" a loud obnoxious voice greeted them. A tall blond with bright blue eyes came towards them, grinning widely.

Arthur scowled, but Harry could see a small smile tugging at his lips. "I said not to call me that, Alfred."

The other blond shrugged nonchalantly as he ate something that was emblazoned with the name McDonald's. Wasn't that the American food company that made its burgers out of old cow or something outrageous to that extent?

"Harry!" He recognized Hermione's voice as she embraced him. "We were so worried! We wanted to tell you everything, we really did, but Dumbledore warned us, and oh, Harry!"

"Hermione, let him breathe, will you?" Ron said. "Hey, mate. How have you been, you know, living with your relatives and all?"

"Fine," Harry said. He was a little angry that he couldn't get the answers he had been looking for all summer, but he was so glad that he was able to see his friends again.

"Harry. I would like to introduce you to my companions. You will be seeing a lot more of them from now on," Arthur said. Hermione let go of Harry and stood beside him as Arthur gestured towards one person in the room that he hadn't even noticed.

"Does he know?" Alfred asked Arthur.

"No. I was just about to tell him." Arthur turned to Harry, his face serious. "Harry, would you believe me if I told you that we were something you had never seen before?"

"I suppose I would," Harry said hesitantly. "For the past four years, my friends and I have seen things that no other wizard has."

"Yes," Arthur nodded. "That is true. So I hope that you will believe me." He took a deep breath. "My name is not really Arthur, Harry. That is just the name I go by if I meet ordinary people. My official name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Or England, if you prefer."

Harry gaped at him.

"I am the personification of England, Harry. I know everything about my citizens, my economy, and my government. And I am telling you this because Dumbledore has implored for our help in protecting you." Harry opened his mouth to protest but Arthur, England, cut him off. "Don't try to deny it, Harry. I can sense Voldemort's dark intent towards you – though he has lost his right to be one of my children a long time ago."

"Y…you can…sense Voldemort? And you're…England? As in our country?"

England nodded solemnly. "Do you need proof?"

Harry could only stare at him. "So…so you mean to tell me…that you're all…countries?"

"Yep!" the blond known as Alfred chirped. Though Harry supposed that that wasn't really his name.

"Who are you, then?"

"I'm the hero!"

England slapped Alfred upside the head. "This wanker here is America, more formally known as the United States of America."

"Damn straight!"

The shorter blond sighed and continued, "And this is Russia." Russia was a very tall platinum blond man with light purple eyes that glinted mischievously as he smiled. For some reason, he was holding a - was that blood? - lead pipe. "He is your protectorate, as we all are."

"Greetings, little Harry." Russia's voice was just like a child's, and for some reason a shiver raced down Harry's spine. "We shall become friends, da?"

"If you put away that lead pipe, commie," America said too cheerfully, never losing his smile.

Russia's smile seemed to darken. "Why, Amerika, you know that I need this to help protect little Harry, da? How will I be able to do that if I put it away?"

England cleared his throat hurriedly before America could reply. "Uh, well, Harry, my boy, do you have any questions?"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol…"

"RUSSIA! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! AND YOU, AMERICA! WILL YOU EVER BEHAVE?"

Harry was startled by the sudden shout and glanced at Hermione, completely lost. She was giggling behind her hand.

"They always act like that," she said. "It's quite fun to watch."

"Meramera to yaki tsukuse," England started chanting, his body stiff. There was a powerful aura emanating around him, and Harry backed away a little. "Sumi kara sumi made sono gouka de, atokata mo nokoranu you ni, tamashii made mo yaki tsukuse…" (1)

America shrieked like a girl, his arms flailing as though he was trying to ward off the words. "STOP CALLING THE DEVIL! MAKE IT STOP! IGGGGGGGGGGGGGGY!"

"I said don't call me that!" England growled. "And I will stop once you stop acting like an idiot!"

"But…but…it was the commie!" America whined.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol…"

"RUSSIA!"

Harry started laughing, and found that he couldn't stop.

1- This is England's weird chanting song that we heard the first ten seconds of in one of the episodes in the first series (can't remember which one). America said "I feel like we're summoning the devil!"

TBC...