He was lying, half conscious and 10 feet off the ground. His body was covered in a blue aura, radiating off of 3 members of the criminal organization of Akatsuki. Red began to leak out of Naruto's mouth in a haze not unlike mist as it traveled on a set course towards the massive statue of the demon king of hell.

Sasuke's brow furrowed in concentration as sweat glided down his cheek. Lines contorted around his eyelids showing a lack of sleep. Two and a half days of drawing energy to fuel the seal that would capture the last of the nine bijuu was definitely hard work. He was beginning to wonder if he would have enough energy to betray Madara and take that great power for himself? Surely Madara would be in the same situation, right? Sasuke glanced over at the other two occupants, seeing Madara and Danzo.

Madara looked fine, but it was hard to tell. He was wearing his mask, blocking most of his face bar his eyes. One had a red iris with a black pupil and three tomoes circling it in a hypnotic fashion. The other was a silvery purple pupil with three concentric rings rippling outwards like disturbed water. The mask had a design that looked somewhat reminiscent of a combination of the two eyes.

Danzo seemed to be struggling, possibly from not fully recovering from the last battle with the young Uchiha? How did he survive in the first place? It does not matter, for young Sasuke got his revenge and now he will get his rightful power. Maybe he could revive the dobe and they could forgive each other? After all, they were friends at some point, possibly even non biological brothers. Fate just cursed him by making the only path to power the death of Naruto.

Naruto was slowly moving his gaze between the trio standing on the hands of the great statue about to consume him. His eyes were half lidded, and he was straining to stay conscious, a feat to be applauded with the pain surging through his body. Three days with the unrelenting pain, as flashes of his childhood passing by. They always did say that your life flashes before your eyes before death embraces your being. Suddenly he saw a flash of light and he was in the seal which cursed him from birth. The fox that caused all of his pain was still there, only it seemed to be fading. Soon there was almost nothing left of the fox in the bleak sewers that made up his mind.

"I will not be used by that man again…" could be heard in an echo before nothing. The sudden silence was deafening. Then an earthquake.

Outside of the seal chaos was ensuing. The statue was crumbling and energies were clashing and fusing into something new. Something not seen since the beginning of chakra. Something called the Juubi. But the energy lacked a physical being to reunite with since the original body was trapped in the moon. In a brilliant lightshow the energies went towards the closest living thing to hold its godly power. That thing was Naruto.

Quickly the boy was thrown back to consciousness by a blinding pain as the energies melded with him. His skin began to rip off, his flesh next. Soon nothing was left and the body reformed by the matter around it. Naruto was assaulted by sudden memories and ideas from the nine separate beings and suddenly had knowledge befitting a god.

The sudden influx of power shook the universe. Everything on plane of existence this took place on suddenly ceased to exist. Nothing but the void was in its place, colors beyond mortal's abilities to comprehend. Anything below that of a god will go insane and afterwards, brain dead. Only a single thing survived in this paradox. One Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze. He slowly opened his eyes, they were still azure blue, clashing with his still golden blonde hair. He now lacked whisker markings on his cheeks, and was taller than before, standing at 6 feet. He looked to be about 18 years old.

He suddenly knew everything he needed to. He knew that he was the strongest thing in existence and knew that with the power that the bijuu had obtained as well as his knowledge he would be unbeatable. When the past Juubi had lived it was beaten by the three main gods Kami, Yami (the king of hell), and Shinigami, simply because it was a mindless being of destruction easily tricked and sent into rages. With his newfound power Naruto would be unbeatable.

He could do anything.

But, now he was bored. 10,000 years of assimilating knowledge would do that to you. He knew of the existences of all dimensions, but made sure he didn't realize the futures or anything that would stunt his entertainment, and he would be sure to get his revenge on the leaf village of his world after he went back in time or recreated it, whichever came first. Without further ado, Naruto, king of gods, opened a hole of blackness into the first realm he thought could be of entertainment and walked into the eternal night.

Book 1: Pokemon

Naruto stepped out on the other side, clothed in a black cloak that covered his form and a pair of sunglasses. The cloak came up and covered his lower face giving an ominous feel to him. You could see the bottom of what could be seen as black steel-toed boots that had what could only be described as a punk rock feel to them. A shadow stretched behind him, seemingly too big for the angle of light hitting him, scaling to the size of ego which he had at that moment.

The teenage looking entity took a step, the gravel rolling and crumbling beneath his feet as he approached a large building. It looked like a factory, but he knew better. Only enough to know where the real interesting stuff was, but nothing past that. This factory was in actuality an illegal research center, doing genetic research on humans and a race of beings called 'pokemon.' Naruto knew what these beings were, for he had 'read' up on their main history. Nothing terribly interesting there, but a few things caught his eye. Particularly these legendary ones and how they fit into everything.

But, that is for another time.

Naruto approached the large metal building and couldn't help but think how bland it was on the outside. Sure, it had a beautiful grassland overlooking a vast ocean, but the building itself was simply a pile of cinderblocks with a metal exterior, nothing but grey and more grey. But, what's this? A white sign with colorful writing? Blasphemy! A look at the sign read "paper factory." Uh-huh… Slowly, with some added drama, Naruto undid the latch and opened the door. The door opened to show row upon row of filing cabinets and desks going back as far as the eye can see. There was a single man standing in front of him, wearing a black tuxedo with a red checkered tie. It must have been through a lot to get as beat up as it looked with the holes and wear marks running along the tie's frame.

"What can I do for you?" the man asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I just heard of something going on here and wanted to see for myself. This place is… empty," came the response.

"Did the feds send you, boy? I don't know of any children on the force." The man's voice was irritable, like he was almost nervous. Maybe he was planning to kidnap Naruto and give him to the researchers? Obviously Naruto didn't know because he obviously couldn't read minds.

The businessman was sweating slightly. He couldn't let the kid reveal the location of this factory. Obviously the kid wasn't in the police or any type of organization that he knew of. Nobody knew of this facility for it was in the middle of nowhere with satellite jammers to prevent knowledge of this place from getting out. He needed to erase this kid, maybe take him to his boss and transfer him to the testing rooms. Yeah, that would work. Damn, why'd it have to be a kid? Such a sin against god, but the testing would only work on youth.

This was perfect for 'the kid,' because it allowed him to get into the facility and not ruin the fun of messing with people's heads. Making them feel like they won the battle is the best part. He would go along with the testing for a while and then after he had his fun he would leave to do something else.

So, Naruto turned around and began to walk away. He suddenly felt a pinch in his neck and made himself mortal-ish and quickly passed out.

Light assaulted Naruto's eyes as he opened them to a blurry world. As he adjusted them he noticed he had resistance when he tried to move so, with the limited sight he deduced he was strapped down (really Sherlock?) and that he was on an operating table. In a lab room. With several needles inside of him. Decidedly, Naruto was happy he was immortal and couldn't die from deranged experiments.

"I see you're awake, boy. You will do nicely to test out a new strain of this virus, hopefully it will be better than the last. Add serum c-23 to the iv."

Two men came from each side and held the god in place while another administered a greenish vial of liquid into one of the needles connected to him. Naruto dulled the pain but still began twitching violently while the guards undid the straps holding him down. He could feel himself changing, legs fusing, body lengthening, face elongating. One word came to his head as he let himself get shocked into unconsciousness by an unknown energy cell.

Rayquaza.

Naruto opened his eyes, blurry again, upon a bleak steel cell with bulletproof one way windows and several catwalks hanging overhead. If one would listen intently they could hear the sounds of monitors buzzing and gears churning in an invisible observation deck. Other than that, the room seemed… miniature. It looked like a large toy set, only in a very large room representing the universe. Definitely weird.

Naruto began to get up, his long tail flailing slightly before the new motor skills and capabilities came to him. Like magic, eh? His neck got about three feet, by his standards, off the ground before it suddenly locked and couldn't move any further. Our protagonist looked into the mirror like wall and saw a large collar with a chain attaching him to the ground that looked like a reinforced element resistant metal with traces of titanium and cast iron coated in diamond dust to prevent anything short of a god from getting out. You have to wonder how these people get the money…

"It looks like you're awake… Rayquaza," a voice said from an intercom.

'look at the insect. Worthless humans, don't worry, I'll have my fun with you and then kill you.' 10,000 years of sleep and being a god gives one a sort of… god complex.

"Now, to see if the serum worked this time. You see, I mutated this strain to make the changed people into mindless beasts so we can have an obedient army to crush our foes and rule the world!"

'Why would he tell me that if I was a mindless animal…?'

"Now, I will tell you to do something, and you will do it. First, roar."

With nothing else to do, Naruto went ahead and played that game. Listening to that man's greasy voice was torture in and of itself, so the faster he did what the man said or killed the man, the better. And killing the man would ruin his fun. So, he roared, nothing special, but formidable enough.

A thin lanky man sat on the other side of a one way window, wearing a clichéd lab coat with a pen in one hand, the other next to a button for the intercom to the room. He was looking in on a beast that was obviously a failed experiment. What wild animal listened to somebody? It obviously still had rational thought, which meant its mind was not deteriorated enough. He had already discovered that over time, with continual consumption of the drug that he will achieve the desired effect, so he will feed the pokemon the drug with the food, for that is what he was doing with the other subjects. He thought he was so close, though! His mind was filled with boiling anger, but on the outside he kept a cool exterior.

He looked to the unconscious man behind him. What idiot reveals their plans even if it's to something that couldn't speak anything but it's name? He will have to continue testing certain things on his own. With that, he shook his head, almost unnoticeably, in disappointment and stood up to leave. Teaching this new one might be easier than the last, and testing this one shall start tomorrow. Once out the door, he took a right into the hallway and out of sight.

The next day, Naruto woke up, still in the bleak room. He could hear some conversation coming from an air vent. He moved closer, undeterred by the gust of cool air coming from the interconnected cooling system. When he got close enough to hear, though he could hear anyway no matter the distance (it made it more fun, I mean making everything so easy isn't as entertaining unless it's to intimidate or freak out), he listened intently.

"-heard that they got a new one." Voice 1 said. Distinctly male, mid twenties, maybe?

"Damn, when are they going to stop? We have to get out of here. We need to get in contact with the new kid, he'll probably be able to help," voice 2 said. Sounded about the same as the first, not as deep.

Sobbing could be heard coming from a distant part of the air duct. "When are we going to get out of here? I want to go home!" A teenager's voice. Girl's probably.

Naruto decided to cut in at that point. "H- hello? What happened?" He made a point to sound scared and helpless. "Where am I? I was walking by my house when I suddenly blacked out." Should win the Grammy for best actor. And this IS in pokemon speech, by the way.

"Is that the new kid?" a voice whispered.

"Hey, new kid, calm down. You're going to be alright. Can you tell me your name?"

Hook, line, and sinker. This will be fun. "M-my name is N-naruto."

"That's not your usual name, now is it? My name is Rick. Can you tell me what you are?"

"I believe it was called a Rayquaza." Naruto was getting bored with the introductions. Damn his restlessness.

There were a bunch of gasps on the other side on the air vent. Suddenly footsteps came crashing down on the ground. Naruto moved away from the vent and looked at the door before he was shocked suddenly into unconsciousness. Or semi-consciousness in his case.

When Naruto woke up, he found himself, once again, in a silver-ish polished metal room. This one was different, though, because it was almost like a coliseum. With a couple of blood smears here and there. Lovely. When he got up, he noticed that he was no longer bound to the ground by a chain, but the collar was still there. He slowly floated up, knowledge of how to use this body flooding his head. It was almost too good, thank 'god.'

The scientist was back behind a fake wall watching several monitors as they received video feed from cameras hidden throughout the training room. It was amazing. This new one was already moving, when the others all took hours, if not days, to learn how to navigate in their new bodies. Maybe they kidnapped a genius this time? Or even better, the serum worked better than expected and was successful in a different way.

He continued to watch when the door opened behind him and a beautiful woman walked in. She was wearing a red coat, old English style, with oversized buttons and hung down like a trench coat. It fit tightly and revealingly to a perfect hourglass figure that would melt eyes from the sheer intensity of 'hotness.' She was wearing glasses that seemed to work perfectly with her shape and clothing and had the oddest pink hair.

"How are you, sir?" the woman asked.

"I'm doing fine, thank you."

"I've brought you some tea."

"Thank you. You may leave."

"Sir, do you think it's a good idea to continue with these experiments? Somebody could notice all of these unexplained missing peop-"

"Helen! I said you may leave."

"Yes sir."

This entire time, the man's eyes never left the monitors, watching as the Rayquaza moved around with a fluidity not seen before. It looked like a gentle stream flowing down a river bed. It almost made him smile in contentment. Almost. He decided to get the training over with. Better to have broken it in now than later.

The man reached his lanky arm, his lab coat pulling up towards his elbow, towards the button to the communicator for the testing cell. Carefully, he pressed down, so not to break the sensitive button.

Naruto, now bored and ready to just let a large blast erupt in the building, stood at attention when the telltale buzz came through the air signaling an intercom. The static turned into syllables and words. "I can see you have learned to move in your new body. This is good, it means that we can go on to training early. Bring in the first pokemon."

The large gate on one side of the room opened in a metallic hiss. What you hear when glass rubs on glass, only with oiled gears turning in the background. The technology may have awed him at one point. When the doors creaked open to their ajar form, a figure came forth, magnified by the light creating an overbearing shadow almost to that of his own. When the figure came into sight, Naruto almost faceplanted at the suspense. When he saw what came out, he did. Hard.

What stood in the doorway was not a giant man eating monster, but a small, SMALL, rat thingy. It was yellow, with big ears, and a lightning bolt shaped tail. He could sit on that thing to kill it! Was this some kind of joke? Where are the trick wires and strings? The pichu just looked at the Rayquaza in what seemed like fear. Naruto almost felt pity for it… yeah…

The pichu was shaking, quivering in fear at the sight of the giant monster. He didn't know what to do but stand there. He was new, but he had heard the stories from the other pokemon in the cages. Those that survived, that is. It was said that they went up against pokemon that used to be human. That the people screwed around with a virus that genetically altered human DNA. He just didn't know to what extent. And now, he was standing in front of a legendary pokemon only rumored in legend. Hopefully it didn't know to fight, but knowing his luck, it did.

"Uh… Hi?"

Naruto looked down at the creature that just said 'hi' to him. He didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't have to.

The com device blared to life again. "You are to fight, for this will be the quickest way to gain fighting experience. Rayquaza, I hope you are not as much of a failure as the others, but they'll learn. Now, begin!"

As soon as that man finished, Naruto could see the small mouse charging up some attack; the lightning pretty much gave it away. Naruto moved to the side like he was made up of water. The attack missed completely, before hitting the back wall with an echoing boom. The mouse was scared shitless, that was obvious, but its instinct for self preservation held strong. Naruto accessed his 'databanks' (where the hell do you think he keeps all that info and not go crazy?) and learned everything a Rayquaza could do, so he doesn't look suspicious.

'Extreme speed,' Naruto thought. That sounded cool. So, he moved and the world seemed to slow down. The motions seemed so clear, the pichu moved so slow, the world just stopped. Was this how Sasuke saw the world through his sharingan eyes? It was beautiful.

Naruto zipped past another bolt as he narrowed his eyes on his target. That being dared to disrespect him. HIM! A god! This deserves recompense. The great being was nearly on the rat when he suddenly stopped. It would be much better to make the thing go insane. In a bout of cruelty, the beast suddenly adopted blood red eyes. But, these were no ordinary red eyes, they were red eyes with black markings in them. These markings were tomoes until they inverted and fused forming a nine pointed upside down star reminiscent of an occult faction symbol. One word reverberated through the air, oddly enough the humans heard the whisper.

"Tsukuyomi."

The silence lasted for a full two seconds; time slowed to almost a stop creating what seemed to be decades between start of the silence and the end. Nobody moved, the world fell quiet, everyone was still. Then, a scream permeated the air. It sounded like a dying animal, and the pichu fell, now comatose.

The scientists stared, disbelieving. They just saw a pichu fall, seemingly dead. If that wasn't enough, it was for no reason whatsoever. Was it just frightened? It couldn't be. It was standing there fine for a second, but then there was that Rayquaza. Was that the cause? But there was no known attack that did that. But that was the only possible reason, for it didn't happen until the gigantic beast stopped its previous attack and stared at it.

The head scientist, our favorite man, walked between monitors, watching the beast as it began looking around. Suddenly, it snapped its head in the man's direction, and the man gasped at what he saw. Blood red eyes with strange markings in them. As soon as he saw them, they were gone, back to a brilliant blue- gold hue. Still odd, but not uncanny.

Meanwhile, while all of this shit is going on, (prepare for SUPERcrack!) Negato and Itachi could be seen leaning on each other, drenched, standing in front of a sign that said Idiot Crossing in large letters. An arrow was pointing at them, and people were standing around pointing at them laughing. A bucket was on show on top of Itachi's head, and Negato was dyed pink. Another flash of pink was seen in the distance before disappearing.

These two were NOT having the best day of their lives. They woke up from the dead unexplainably, floating right above a pond. A brown pond that was slightly chunky and reminded Negato of shit and Itachi of Sasuke during his fifth birthday. The smell was revolting, like a combination mentally agreed upon by both Akatsuki members of Sasuke and revenge. Or shit. Itachi turned towards Negato to ask him what happened when they both fell in. It looked like shit, it smelled like shit, and it tasted like shit.

When they both stood up, drenched in now brown clothes, they were approached by a small rhino, gray in color with a pissed off expression. As soon as the two regained their bearings, they lost them just as quickly by a great nutshot courtesy of a great horn. What was heard would forever be known as The Day A New Hole Was Torn.

Waking up, they found themselves standing under a sign that said Idiot Crossing. They both took a step forwards simultaneously and found they couldn't move their feet anymore. A bottle stood next to them that said Super Super Glue with small print barely made out as Sticks to anything, and cannot be removed for- but the rest couldn't be made out clearly. It looked like it said three days, but neither could be sure.

Negato tried using his rinnegan, but as soon as it activated, he was hit by a blast of pink paint that covered his cloak in its entirety, as well as his eyes, preventing him from seeing or using his ocular powers. Next, Itachi tried to burn through the paint with his amaterasu, but as soon as he tried, a bucket of glue fell on top of his head, and stuck there. They were now still standing there, eight days later, with masses of people pointing and laughing at them like they were part of the circus! Even Itachi, the emotionless genius, was about ready to scream in frustration! Negato already had, scaring many little children, all of whom ran away screaming "Pedophile!"

In front of a shop in someplace called 'Twilight Town,' a certain snake feels a shiver run down his spine.

"Damnit! Somebody is talking about me and I'm not there! Tsh. I should find Kabuto… he might make me feel better…" This was followed by what could be called a mix between a maniacal laugh and perverse giggling.

When he quieted down (after scaring the populous shitless) he continued his walking around. After searching aimlessly and scaring more people, he coincidentally bumped into (read: punched out of boredom) a man in a black coat. The specific man fell back out of surprise, though it seemed forced, onto the ground.

The man's hood fell back to show spiky red hair and the face of some dude smiling like he won the lottery. The man's expression quickly turned to that of insincere anger as the man began getting up.

"What the hell was that for!"

"I was bored and you seemed to be in the way…"

"Screw you! Now I'm gonna kill ya!" Axel opened his hands and two chakrams appeared. Before he could exact revenge, though, he was weighted down by something. He looked down at his arm to see the pale man literally hanging off of him. Axel looked back to where he was before only to find the space empty.

Orochimaru saw the disk thingies and immediately thought 'bloodline.' He charged the man with the speed of a fanboy and hung of his arm admiring the beautiful pieces of art. He NEEDED this power! Then, he would find a way to combine it with the sharingan and… the thought was lost as he entered the bliss of his fanboyish imagination and almost had an orgasm at the thought of the sharingan and this power with whatever else was out there.

In the town of Altomare, a blond could be seen waking up in a hospital. He had been in a coma for eight and a half days. He sat up with speed comparable to lighting, yanking the chords painfully from his arms. After a minute of catching his bearings, he slowly got out of bed. Grabbing his clothes, which were on the white nightstand in the white grey room, he dressed. He was glad that he still had his clay in the pockets of his pants. Deidara, in his golden haired glory, stood back to admire the machinery in the room.

'Huh, how long was I asleep, yeah?'

Deidara observed the unknown technology for several minutes, until footsteps were heard outside the room. Thinking quickly, though it didn't take much thinking at all, he dove through the window as the door opened and the frantic running stopped in front of the window. They were five stories high.

Deidara looked down. 'Oh Shit. Damn, I wanted to go out with a bang. Wait! I still can!' Deidara took out one of his C4 dragons and launched it.

"ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" and the dragon hit… but did nothing. "A… dud? Curse you cruel fate!" And he landed. He was cushioned by the explosive clay, before it DID explode.

A pale eyed teenager, surrounded by a group of skeletal beings with wings and black notebooks, suddenly shivered.

"ALRIGHT! WHO TOOK MY LINE!"

The sudden outburst caused one of the undead beings to drop his notebook in the wasteland they were in and Negi took that moment to run away, though for some reason he was compelled to grab the book. On his way be snatched it up and fell through a hole now on a collision course with the earth. He lost the notebook and fell farther away. The notebook fell outside a school, to be picked up by anyone.

Naruto was taken back to the large holding cell, where he lay unconscious, awaiting the life ahead.

Madara was walking along, enjoying the weather, when he suddenly ran into a sign that said Altomare. Getting up, he found many people staring at him. Using his enhanced ears, he heard several whispers along the lines of 'Did he just walk on water?'

'Some people are so stupid! Don't they know it's impossible to walk on water?' was the thought going through Madara's head. Did he even notice the moving tides right under his feet?

Madara moved up and stepped onto the land, deciding to explore, because exploring was fun! But he couldn't help but think that the name Altomare was a bit funny… Nah, it was just a weird place with weird animals.

Konan had been searching for information on this place she just appeared in. She now knew the basics and had obtained one of these 'pokemon' from a professor Oak under a transformation. It was some blue turtle called a Squirtle? Weird place. Right now, the paper angel was leaving the town of Pallet and was making her way through the foliage and past the other odd creatures. Just as she was about to consult the map, she heard some laughing in the distance. Laughing meant people, and people meant directions.

She thought back to her time before Akatsuki, and her travels with Yahiko and Negato. Specifically the times when they were lost. They never asked directions. No matter how much she tried to get them to. And then when she DID know where to go, they ignored her. Ugh, men.