Chapter one: the beginning
A.K.A, Sasuke gets hit on the head with lots 'o things.
One day, Sasuke was walking along with his dog, Akamaru, when his mean neighbor, Itachi, snatched him up by his tail.
"Hey, what are you doing?!" Sasuke screamed, grabbing for Akamaru, who was being held high above the older boy's head.
"This damn mutt of yours keeps coming into my house and spilling my nail polish bottles!" Itachi spouted, shaking the dog around as it yelped in pain. Sasuke-chan raised an eyebrow.
"You wear nail polish?" He said, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." He said, flicking his free wrist so his purple nail polish shined in the light. Sasuke just shook his head. "Anyway, that's beside the point. If I catch your stupid dog in my house again, I'm shipping him off to the pound!" He growled, putting Akamaru back on the ground and walking away. Sasuke stuck his tongue out at him as he walked away.
"Stupid gaywad…" he muttered, carrying Akamaru back to their house. Sasuke, Akamaru, Sasuke's uncle Croww, Sasuke's other uncle Tinn, and his aunt Lyon all lived on a wine vineyard, making the alcoholic beverage for a living. (Well, aside from Akamaru, since he was a dog.) As he walked back to the vineyard, he heard a howling sound in the distance. He looked behind him slowly, scared to death of what might be behind him. His eyes got huge as he saw the huge tornado coming up fast behind him.
"Oh, f- we don't live anywhere near tornado valley!" He swore, grabbing Akamaru and bolting off toward the vineyard. His hair blew around his head like crazy, and he was panting as he ran inside his room. Akamaru barked, which probably meant something like, "bark bark, master! Shouldn't you tell the rest of your family about the tornado?" Somehow, Sasuke seemed to understand this and said dryly, "I hope they're not so retarded they don't notice the giant fricking tornado outside!" suddenly, the ground began to shake. Sasuke yelped, losing his balance and falling on the floor. As he was about to get up, the window exploded in a shower of glass, falling on him. Then a lamp fell on his head. Then a dresser. Then a bowling ball.
"Why the frick do things keep hitting me on the head??!!" He screamed, before his pillow exploded into a flying mass of feathers. One of these deadly feathers floated through the air, landing directly on Sasuke-chan's head, knocking him unconscious.