Death-The Surprise Itself
Forgive me all of you for the quite depressing one shot! I'm sorry, Hinami, for making another death fic, but seriously, it's the angst that comes to mind, you know? (Plus, this was for a school story. Can't blame me. :P )
Oh, and Emily? You already read the original, but you can still review. :) (as always)
Dedication: To Ash, also known as Prose Vanity. Because, I love your dark and angst-filled fics. ;D (They're the greatest)
And also, in memorial of one of my grandpa's younger brothers, who passed away on April 20th, 2011, early in the morning today. It came as a shock to us, and this fic reminds us, that death is a surprise. One you never know when it will hit you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.
P.S. Forgive me for any Mochu lovers. He just seemed too perfect for the part; I couldn't give him up. Oh, and forgive me also for not mentioning Natsume in this.
Without further ado:
/ Death- The Surprise Itself /
Death is inevitable. And it comes and goes, without warning.
X
It was the biggest surprise of my life. Whether I foretold about it or not, it still happened. It still would have happened.
She is my best friend. Or was.
We were inseparable. Though I do admit, I wasn't the kindest to her at times, with my aloof attitude and Baka Gun, I'd make sure she was a five meter radius away from me. Though, despite of our differences, we were sisters. Yet, despite of our friendship, there Mikan Sakura lay, at thirteen years old, dead. Terminated. Over. Gone.
All I hear our cries, mourns about how great she was. And I think, 'Do you think I don't know that? She walked all around Japan just to find me. She never gave up on me.' Every single weep shoved the fact that she's dead… in my face. And I hate it.
It's inevitable, really. We all have to die, but not like this. Yet, despite of the circumstances, there are no tears streaming down my ashen cheeks, though. Why? Because I never expected this. Not at all. Not ever.
And perhaps, reality hasn't come to me yet.
It was so innocent actually, a pat and a shove or two, morphing into harder and more forceful attacks. Until finally, she was limpless, unmoving on the cold, hard floor. I observed it all, even with my mind in disarray.
I watched it when Mikan and Mochiage were chatting, giving playful shoves.
I watched it when she lay there, in a pool of her own blood, with the bald boy making no effort to help, only muttering incoherently under his breath, before sauntering away.
And I, white-hot anger pulsing through my veins, stood still, thinking only. He's done it now… I didn't even have the heart to take out my Baka Gun, or anything that was more fatal and dangerous, to get rid of him, there and then. And, still, I can't believe I let this happen. She was my best friend, no matter what I said. But I let her down. Simple as that.
I was there when the ambulance came, the siren's melody replaying in my mind; the epitome of a broken cassette.
I stood when the doctors shook their heads, grief evident in their eyes, mirroring my own. My overwhelming grief which was expanding with each passing second when I heard of her permanent departure.
I grew weaker, heart twisted with anguish, though concealed by my cold façade, when hazel eyes, devoid of emotion and life, stared up at me.
Yet, I lived... when she finally was brought six feet under. When silence finally invaded, finally ensued.
It was never supposed to happen this early! We're damn alices! We're supposed to be special, but what good is it, if we still freaking die? Those were my only thoughts. And I wept, inwardly, for her death, and for the fact that even at her funeral, I wasn't there. I let her down, yet again. I was deemed a genius, inventor at youth, prodigy at ten, yet, even I, with the most phenomenal of inventions, could not prevent her death. In fact, I couldn't even be there when she left us, or me.
It occurs to me, that I can't do anything. I never could. So, with my mind set on this resolution, a part of me died that day, when she died too, bringing half a heart with her into paradise. My heart. But me, I can't help but think, 'How about me? Why can't I have paradise too?'
Sometimes, I wish that I could have spent more time with her. More moments with her. And I can't help but think that Swinburme couldn't have said it better: 'Today will die tomorrow. Time stops to no man's lure."
And whenever I would hear 'Howalon', I can't help but think about her antics, her favourites, her laugh . . her. At times, I would imagine she would burst into my lab, a huge smile on her face, (one which was defying gravity), those tinkly eyes and all-around jovial spirit, enveloping me in a hug or saying her usual cheerful 'Good Morning Hotaru!'
I expected it, even until two years after her death.
Yet today, at sixteen, I looked at the mirror, suppressed turmoil uncovered for the world to see. The lingering thoughts of my friendship clouding over my mind. Each memory, each act, replaying again and again, until I collapsed, nostalgia and ache, far from my mind. In fact, it is her smile…that I think about.
Yet I lived… no matter how painfully, no matter how dully, through the biggest surprise of my life.
X
Author's Note: I didn't do such a good job at portraying Hotaru. Probably because the original story was not meant to be her. So I changed and edited. :) (And, didn't do so well at it. T_T)
A letter to Ash: This was nothing compared to your 'no-word-is-able-to-describe-the-amazingness' stories, but I hope it could show how superior you are now. :D B~ut, nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it. :)
Give a review? Please!
Oh, and if any of you were wondering, I will be starting a new fanfic, as well as continuing RTPRTT and TTTFT. {finally!}
Ria departing! (Elle)