Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Spoilers for SGA S4...and I don't think anything else major. S/J of course. This popped into my fron a little while back and I debated whether or not to post it for a while...I gave in. ;) Brooke, thanks for your help!

Ch. 1 What We Do

Only the faint glow of the alarm clock lit the darkened bedroom.

4:20.

Sam frowned. The last time she'd woken up it had been 3:05. Before that, 2:24. And she'd only gotten to sleep a little after one that morning.

Jack lay asleep next to her, rolled away on his side. Sam wrapped her arm around his waist and scooted closer, until her body was pressed to his back and her face rested right at the nape of his neck.

Sam let out a sigh. This was it. Her last night with Jack. Her last night at home. On Earth. In this galaxy. Later that day, she would step through the gate to Atlantis and a whole new life.

She cringed at the thought. It wasn't exactly a new life. Yes, it was a new job, a new home, but Sam wasn't leaving everything behind on Earth completely. Going to Atlantis was a two-way trip now. By gate or ship, she would see her loved ones again. But that didn't comfort her, not on this night.

Sam sighed again.

"Hey, that tickles, ya know," Jack's deep, sleep filled voice grumbled.

A smile flitted over Sam's lips. "Sorry," she whispered.

"S'okay," he replied. He didn't turn, but Sam could feel his fingers lace with hers. This small act brought tears to her eyes.

It shouldn't have been so complicated. She had been appointed one of the most incredible posts imaginable. To lead the Atlantis expedition, to take command of an Ancient city in a galaxy not her own. As career oriented as she was, Sam should have been jumping at the opportunity.

Ten years ago, she might have been. Though they would have never considered a captain for the post, Sam had had just the right type of personal life for an extended mission like this. Her relationship with her family hadn't been so great and she hardly ever saw them. She'd had no close friends. No 'roots'. Not like she did now.

Now she had so much more. So much more she almost thought she couldn't do this.

"I wonder sometimes…" Sam began softly, nuzzling closer to Jack, her lips grazing his skin. She didn't continue, but focused on the steady rhythm of her husband's breathing.

"Wonder what?" Jack's voice floated through the velvety darkness, prompting her.

"How they did it that first time…to Atlantis. How they all went, knowing they might never come back."

Jack shrugged lightly under Sam's touch. "Some of them had nothing to lose," he told her, recalling his suicide mission to Abydos. "Others wanted adventure. Some did leave a lot behind. But-"

"It's what we do," Sam finished for him. "I know." She rolled back onto her pillow and stared into the blackness. It was never what they wanted. There was always a stumbling block. First the regs and their positions. Then Washington. Now Atlantis.

Atlantis. That was a whole lot farther than D.C. A whole lot.

"Hey."

Sam could feel Jack's eyes boring into her. She couldn't really see him, but that didn't matter. They didn't need light to communicate.

"Hey," Jack repeated, his fingers tangling in her hair. He loved her long hair. His restless fingers always found their way into the blonde locks. "You were excited." There was concern in his voice.

"I am. This is…this is an amazing job. Really. It's just the closer it gets, I'm wondering if I made the right decision," Sam confessed quietly.

"Getting cold feet?" he asked. His toes gently nudged her foot.

"Well…I still have work here," Sam replied. "The Ori are-"

"Gone."

"But-"

"Sam."

Jack's arms wrapped around her, pulling Sam into a warm embrace. "This isn't making it easier," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"All these doubts, we've talked about them. Before I ever put my final recommendation in. I may have not come up with the idea to send my wife to the Pegasus galaxy, but I know you want this post and I know you'll do an outstanding job," Jack reassured her.

"I learned from the best," she told him, a small grin tugging at her lips. His hand, which had been gliding up and down her spine in a soothing motion, stopped.

"Hey, you're not making this any easier," he teased, though Sam could tell his heart wasn't really into it.

She rested her head against his chest. "This won't ever be easy, but this really is what we do. Our jobs, regardless of the personal sacrifices."

"Don't get me wrong," Jack returned. "I don't like the idea of you leaving any more than I liked going to Washington. But I knew exactly what I was doing when they approached me with this."

Sam nodded. She was certain it hadn't been easy for Jack to put a smile on his face and recommend sending her to Atlantis. His word carried a lot of weight and had the power to tip the balance either direction. But Jack also knew more than anyone how much her career meant to her. He would have never avidly promoted her going to Atlantis if that hadn't been what she truly wanted. Jack had seen her eyes light up when they had discussed Atlantis. He'd also seen her torn over the personal ramifications this posting could have on their relationship.

Could they really deal with a separation like this? They'd considered that travel between Atlantis was relatively easy; they would be able to see each other. She and Jack had thought ahead, about the other options available to them down the road. Atlantis was in desperate need of a commander, and there was no one better for the job at the moment. However, Sam was adamant that this post would not be permanent. She would find a way to return and work Earthside after a sufficient stay in Atlantis. Maybe back at Area 51 or Homeworld Security. Jack had even joked that perhaps Landry would retire and she could swipe his job. So she had decided, with Jack's support, that she was needed in the Ancient city and that it was an opportunity not to be passed up.

It had been the same bittersweet feeling as when Jack had accepted the Washington position. It was a huge milestone in his career, but they had put themselves aside for the greater good, again.

Jack broke her reverie. "I can hear you thinking."

"Sorry…just so much is happening, so much is changing…" she told him.

"Yeah, but some things stay the same," he reminded Sam tenderly, kissing the top of her head.

Sam laughed softly, trying to hold back her tears. Some things did stay the same.

Always.

TBC