Authoress' Note: Ok, honestly I didn't spend much time or effort on these short stories. But I thought someone might enjoy them, sooo...
Also I probably will not write any more to this.
I hope you enjoy it... total randomness rules!
What it is and Disclaimer: These are ideas taken from McJunker's 'Thirty Terrible Ideas for LOTR Fanfics'. Some of them sounded so funny I couldn't resist... :P
Aragorn, the ranger, and Legolas the Elf prince wandered in the wood of Lothlorien on a fine summer evening. They were searching for Athelas, the healing herb. Galadriel was out of it, and needed some to heal Haldir who had sustained an arrow injury during a short skirmish with Orcs that morning. The ranger and the Elf had agreed grudgingly to find some, and were seeking more or less diligently under the shade of the Mallorn trees.
Suddenly Aragorn, with his acute ranger senses, felt something was wrong. The sky grew darker, the wind howled ominously, and there was a strange sound.
'There is a fell voice on the air,' observed Legolas with typical obviousity.
'I sense it too,' said Aragorn.
'I know what you hear,' commented Galadriel via long-distance telepathy, 'for it is also in my mind.'
Aragorn shivered slightly, forgetting the ominous noise while he wondered why the Lady of the Wood had to be so creepy.
'Aragorn,' said Legolas urgently, 'we should leave now.'
'Do not worry, Legolas,' said Aragorn, bending down to pluck some Athelas, 'we are warriors, and can fend off any attack.'
'These are no mere Orcs,' insisted Legolas. 'Some fell force is at work here. We cannot linger.'
The sound was growing louder and more distinct every minute; Aragorn for a moment thought he could distinguish the word 'Brainz' in the murmur of fell voices, but cast the thought aside in amusement. What fell force's battle cry would be 'Brainz'?
Suddenly, out from the dense foliage of the forest burst strange creatures. They resembled Orcs, but were more... dead. Aragorn drew his sword, and Legolas covered his eyes, backing away and crying, 'Ah, Elbereth, oh Valar preserve us, by Gandalf's beard, woe is me, for such fellness has appeared before my eyes!'
'What trickery is this?' asked Aragorn dubiously, poking at one of the enemies with his sword. He nudged it slightly, and was surprised and horrified to see its head wobble and topple off. 'Oops,' he said.
Aragorn turned to see Legolas hastily climbing a tree.
'Brainz,' said the zombies (for that is, of course, what they were).
'Where do you think you're going?' asked Aragorn.
Legolas perched serenely on a branch and looked down. 'I feel most at home in trees,' he explained convincingly.
'Brainz,' said the zombies. They were surrounding Aragorn.
The ranger precipitously decided that he was most at home in trees, too. Soon he had joined his Elven friend at the top of the tallest.
'Brainz,' insisted the zombies.
'Now what?' asked Aragorn.