Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Dear Mum,

We read your letter and we thought we should clear a few things up.

1. We really did see Snape drink blood.

Okay, we're the ones that put it in his drink. And before you start writing a Howler to us, it was troll's blood not human blood.

It would have been human, but nobody would give us their blood.

2. We don't stop other students from learning.

We are giving them an education in fun and we should be rewarded for this, but our brilliance is often overlooked.

3. We make awesome gods.

Everybody thinks we make awesome gods! Well, everybody but you, Minnie, Sevvie and Malfoy.

It is understandable because you are jealous of our godlike powers and handsome faces, but we forgive you.

4. Pickles.

Yes, we honestly thought trying to bribe Minnie with a pickle was a brilliant idea, but we guess she is not a fan of pickles because she shouted at us.

She shouts at us a lot.

5. Those are really awesome excuses.

You have to admit, mum, the excuses we give for not having our homework are golden. And no, we don't think we should do our homework instead of coming up with excuses. We are above that.

6. We are sorry.

We are sorry for telling people, we are the love children of Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange.

We meant it as a joke and we didn't mean for you and dad to feel insulted.

7. You are wrong.

We, one day, will reach our goal to walk through walls and no matter how many times we get rendered unconscious, we will never give up our goal.

8. Yet again we're sorry.

We are sorry we left the school grounds and made you worry, but in our defence, we were looking for the feather of doom.

9. We weren't lying!

Five hundred years ago, there was a Dance-Around-A-Fire-Naked day so, when we told the first years there was a naked fire dance day, we didn't technically lie. We read so in a book. (Yes, mum, we do read.)

10. It probably isn't our fault.

We pretty sure us writing to the Ministry everyday has nothing to do with three people resigning, but if it makes you happy we'll stop writing.

Love Fred and George.

P.S We will keep Ron out of trouble.

P.P.S We'll get Ginny to keep us and Ron out of trouble.

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Thank-you to my Beta Lolerator