And so, he took her hands between his and looked her right into the eyes.
"Please, understand..."
She had her eyes filled with tears even if she tried to keep control on herself. As always. She didn't like to show her her weakness... Remus felt her hands shaking between his and the moment later, she threw herself in his arms, letting the tears floading over her face. Her shoulders were shaking violently and she couldn't stop crying. He closed his arms around her and just hold her against him. He must admit he was afraid and that her sadness make him feel uncomfortable... He understood that she wanted to fight, that she wanted to come with him, but...
"I don't want you to die...", he murmured in a low voice. "Please... I have a very bad feeling on it and I want you to survive. Teddy... Teddy need you..."
He slowly stroke her hair almost without thinking it. He loved her hair. He loved touching her and holding her in his arms. It let him feel alive... He has never been so much alive since the moment he was with her, since the moment he knew her. He loved her... Sincerely... He loved all of her... He couldn't tell how much. He had no words to express what he felt but he loved her beyond everything. Her and his son as well. "I will not let you died, Dora if I can avoid... Because... Because I love you..." Words had spread without thinking to it. The first time... The first time he really said it. Tonks raised her head immediately and looked right into his eyes... She saw the emotion growing and how much he has let his heart speaking. Tears always rolling onto her face. She let her lips approaching his face and their lips met... She knew that it was perhaps the last time... She... Perhaps their last kiss... She put all her love, all what she felt in that last kiss...
"I don't want you to go, I don't want you to die... Stay with me. Stay with us... So I will stay..." And she kissed him again, as if he will suddenly disappear the second later... He slowly pushed his head back and looked at her very seriously... He put his hands around her face and after kissed her forehead, he slowly said :
"I'd like to stay but I can't... I can't stay while they..."
"What about me? I can't imagine myself staying while... While you... You fight! If you come, I come!" she exclaimed in a worried but strong voice. Her yes were determined. She will not let him go ... She needed him as much Teddy needed her... And Teddy also needed his father! He needed both of them.
"NO !" He had let the words escaped without thinking. He felt his hands shaking but stayed still even if his eyes betrayed him in his feeling. "You don't understand! I don't want you to come, I don't want you to die! You... You're too important for me. Both of you. I love you so much it's hurts me just imagine you dying... Please, don't come. You must stay with our son : Think to him! He needs you!.. he's... He's so young... Never mind me... But... Not you... Please... Someone must stay with me and I chose... If I have to go, you must stay... I must be the one to go to fight. " His voice broke off suddenly. He seemed unable to carry on... "Not you please...", he finished in a low voice. So he remained silent. He couldn't say anything else for a moment. He felt fear spread in his body... For a last time, he took her again against him and just stayed like this. A last time he wanted to feel himself alive...
A last time before... Before what ? He knew he could die. He knew it... For Tonks, he didn't want to risk it but him, he must go. He must face it? He must face death, he must fight with the others. But he wanted to save her. He wanted to save her because he loved her. Love couldn't be explain. It was just like this.
For one more minute he kept her against him and just stayed silent. He just wanted to feel alive one more minute... He heard her heart beating ; he heard his beating as well. He could feel her arms closely around him, he could feel her breathing against his ear, he could feel her warmness. He closed his eyes... He wanted to feel all of that before he had to go.
"Take care of yourself." he mumured in her ear before kissing her on the forehead.