It was early dawn as I overlooked Jump City, sprawled below my rooftop perch in a mass of traffic and flashing streetlights. My overcoat fluttered in a breeze, the wind tugging at my hair. Across the city, the first peaks of sunlight had started to emerge, barely brushing my feet as the stood planted on the edge of the roof, leaving my face obscured in shadow. I stood hunched against the chill morning air, not yet warmed by the sun, my breath making small white puffs as I breathed out. Far below, the sounds of the city drifted up, but the air around me was eerily silent as I waited the break of dawn.
Perched there, I sparred a moment of my attention from my task of observation, to consider what I must look like to anyone who saw me. The imposing image in my mind filled me with pride, and I had to suppress a snort of glee.
Damn, I must have looked cool.
As I waited, the sun continued to rise, slowly revealing my dark gray overcoat and brown Jedi-esq robe. My bandolier, slung with gadgets and tools, jingled softly as I shifted, trying to keep my feet from falling asleep as I continued to wait. The sunlight spilled up my form, now caressing my face with its gentle warmth, revealing my ginger hair and sweet five o'clock shadow. I imagined that my eyes were still hidden in darkness, the deep bags underneath a testament to my determination and willpower, the sleepless nights I had spent preparing for today.
The showdown with my nemeses, the TEEN TITANS!
With the sun now in the sky, I pulled out my reality remote, the sleek black casing humming in my hand. With a few taps on my wrist-computer, I was connected to the city's broadcast network. Then, with a push of a button, I felt myself compress in an instant, losing my various dimensions before reappearing inside my digital lair. Hundreds of computer monitors buzzed to life, until I was looking out every screen in jump city. The center one, however, was where I was fixated.
The TV monitor in the titans living room.
"GREETINGS TITANS!" I crowed, unable to contain my excitement. "IT IS I! CONTROL FREAK! Once again, I have taken control of your TV set, and I shall not relinquish it until we have had a glorious battle broadcasted for all of Jump City to see! For today is the day that I shall- hey, where are they?"
I had paused in the midst of my villainous monologue, surprised to find the titans tower empty. Flicking between the various other monitors inside the tower, I was unable to find a single titan inside. Puzzled, I remained silent for a few moments, my brilliant plans for the day already crashing off the tracks I had set in place.
"Well, shoot. Where the heck are they?" I flipped through the various monitor clusters around Jump City, a feeling of annoyance growing as I had to search for my nemeses.
Finally, I found them inside of a Pizza Chain, enjoying pizza at one of the table booths. All five of them were there, Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy, clustered around a table and chomping through a stack of 20 or so pizzas. My annoyance deepened, now joined by a growl form my stomach, as I had skipped breakfast to set the mode for this fateful day. Now I was irked.
Taking control of the wall monitors that displayed the various order options to the customers, I attempted to salvage what remained of my glorious script.
"GREETINGS TITANS!" I began again, less chipper this time, but still dedicated to giving a good villainous impression. "IT IS I! CONTROL FREAK! Villainous mastermind and master of villainy! I have come today to-" I was cut off mid sentence as a piece of pizza was flung at my face, splattering wetly against the monitor. I took a step back, surprised as hot cheese plastered itself across one of my fields of view, mushrooms and olives dripping down on strings of melted gold.
"YO! We're trying to get our eat on over here!" I peered out of another screen to see Beast Boy standing on a booth, another piece of pizza clutched in his hand as he pointed at me. "Why you have to be bothering us while we're enjoying Pizza Day?" He then threw the slice, letting it splatter against the wall above my screen, cheese and olives raining down past my face.
"Pizza... day?" I asked, mind a-whirl as I stared at the five figures across the pizza parlor.
"Uh-huh, Pizza Day!" That was from Cyborg, who was talking with his mouthful, strings of cheese stretching between the stack of pizza slices in his hand and the large mouthful he was attempting to talk around. I felt myself grow queasy as he nosily devoured the mess, not bothering to keep his mouth close.
"Indeed, it is the day of the pizza!" Starfire chimed in, and it took me a second to recognize her. She seemed to be wearing most of her pizza, like some stretchy ornamental jewelry. I cringed openly as she opened another box and eye-lasered what was inside, splattering another load of cheese all over her front, before giggling and pulling out an overcooked piece. "Ah, just like gloorblax used to make!"
I resisted the urge to hurl.
Beside them, Robin was focused on his own boxes of pizza, which he seemed to be... stalking? Was that the right word? He was pacing around them on the floor, on his hands and knees, sniffing every now and again before making motions towards the stationary piles of cardboard. Finally, he lunged forward, biting into the cardboard's lid before tearing it off and then proceeding to rip parts of the pizza out and stuff them into his mouth, as if ingesting the innards of a gazelle he had just killed.
The urge to hurl grew stronger.
The only one eating normally was Raven, but her slices of pizza appeared to have tiny faces on them, and they were screaming as she bit into them over and over again, their tears apparently a seasoning that she savored by licking their small eyes every now and again.
"Oh god... gonna be sick..." I murmured, barely able to stomach the atrocious display before me. It was then that I noticed the manager and cashiers cowering behind the checkout counter, silently looking at me, pleading with their eyes to not let the five monsters inside their shop know they were there. And there were only the five titans inside the shop, as every other customer had apparently fled, some even leaving their wallets behind in the rush to escape this horrendous scene.
Mustering my courage, I once again looked at the Titans across from me. "TITANS! I have returned to challenge you once again! Forsake your pizza and come battle me as your nemesis!" I pressed another button on my reality remote, and the static on the screen behind me flashed with lightning effect, booming thunder following as I began to laugh maniacally.
"Not interested." Beast Boy flopped down again, flipping open a pizza box and dumping the entire contents into his mouth, cheeks bulging to contain the rush of slices. He than began to chew, nosily, attempting to contain the food within his lips... and failing.
"Eurgh..." I felt myself make a noise of disgust as I continued to watch this shameful display. These once great heroes had become nothing more than lazy slobs, content to wallow in their debauchery.
I shook my head. NO! These are the Titans, the heroes you have fought time and again. They are protectors of the innocent, champions of justice, the yang to my yin. If I was a shadow, they were the light, and I refused to believe that they would really refuse to battle me just to satiate their craving for pizza.
"Enough games, TITANS! You will face me, as you have before, since you are heroes! Now, come! Let us match skill and wits once again!"
Robin looked up from his 'kill', part of the pizza clutched in a raised hand. He swallowed, standing up from the floor, then dusted himself off, a serious look returning to his previously crazed appearance. "He's right TITANS, we are heroes. And if a villan is threatening the city, we have to stop him."
I felt my hopes rise, sensing a spark of the old titans returning to this mess laid out before me.
"That is why, Silkie, I am making you an honorary Titan." My jaw fell open as Robin picked up Starfire's pet silk worm, slapped a mask and cape on it, and then threw it at me. It also slapped wetly against the screen, sticking in the mess of pizza cheese, and making noises of pain and discomfort as it stared at me, helpless. I was aghast.
"Are you serious?!" My voice cracked as I pointed at their abuse of their pet. Below, Starfire cheered
"Whoo! Go Silkie, make your barnorkasnof proud!" Robin had returned to stalking his pizza, Beast Boy appeared to be chocking on the whole pizza he had crammed into his head, and Cyborg, finding they were out of real pizza, had begun to eat the cardboard pizzas on the tops of the boxes.
I was furious. "You call this a fight?! This is disgraceful! What do you have to say for yourselves, TITANS?!" I could feel my rage building, like water trapped behind a dam. I seethed, staring down at the uncaring five below as their pet slowly became more and more entrapped inside the prison of cheese, mewling pitifully.
"I have something to say." Raven pipped up, now bothering to look up at me. Her eyes began to glow white, and she intoned 'Azarath Metreon Zinthos!"
Suddenly, a large rift appeared next to the table beside the titans. From inside, a creature emerged, resembling a mass of writhing black tentacles and gaping mouths. It snarled, stepping out of the rift, the floor below popping and sizzling as green saliva dripped from the multitude of mouths onto the floor. Turning it looked at Raven, who pointed at my row of screens.
"Would you mind shutting him up?" Immediately, the monster roared, swiping a beefy tentacle through all my screens, destroying them. It also caught the trapped Silkie, flinging it out of its cheese prison and across the room, where he bounced off the wall with another wet sound.
My eyes to the outside world destroyed, I flicked to the closest screen, popping up on one of the cashiers phones. She looked terrified at the black monster above her and her boss, as its acid drool dripped down and began to eat though the counter and the tills. From behind its back, I heard Raven's voice.
"Thanks. You can do whatever you want now." The monster roared, released from its summoning, and proceeded to rip the counter out of the floor with several of its larger tentacles. With the counter suspended above its head, two smaller tentacles with mouths on the ends lunging for the people crouched behind. They screamed, scrambling out of the way just in time as the tentacles crashed into the back wall with enough force to shatter it, sending a spiderweb of cracks radiating out from the impact points.
From my screen, I watched the world swing by as the two cashiers and their manager ran for the back door, escaping into a back alley before turning and making for the street. Moments later, the black thing burst out of the wall of the Pizza Shop, roaring in defiance as its victims attempted to escape.
The three of them stumbled into the street, the black monster just a few steps behind. Random pedestrians going about their daily lives were shocked to see the black eldritch horror emerge from the alleyway, screeching and lashing out with tentacles to grab random objects to swing and throw. These included a car, two lampposts, a tree, a mailbox, and a fire-hydrant.
Instantly, a geyser of water erupted out from the water main below as its cap was ripped away, and the cashier that was holding my phone screen became drenched in the cold water. Her fellow cashier, a few steps ahead, was pelted with the tree, one of its branches catching him and pushing him across the street. When he came to a stop, he had road burns and dozens of scratches from the tree.
Realizing the danger that the rampaging beast posed, I sprang into action. From my belt of gadgets, I withdrew my double headed force saber, the blue and red blades crackling to life as whipped my reality remote into my left hand. Outside the screen, the cashier had slipped in the now wet street, and a large black tentacle bore down on her with alarming speed. With no time left, I pressed a button.
I felt myself compress again, losing all perspective as I was pulled towards the monitor in front of me. As I passed through, I swung my blade into a parrying position, bracing it with both hands. On the other side, I collided with the tentacle just in time, my blades cutting the offending limb into three strips as I swung forward, biting deep into the monsters limb. It screeched again, this time a noise of pain as its appendage shrunk back, the strips dangling limply.
"Well, well, well, looks like you could use a hand." I quipped, adopting a traditional swordsman's stance, my dual blades humming as I held them out in front of me, ready to move when the black mass of limbs in front of me reacted.
And boy, did it react. It seemed to pull back all of its appendages for a moment, shrinking in size by a foot, before it launched all of its tentacles out at amazing speeds to ricochet around the street, bouncing at me from multiple angle. I grinned, swinging my blade out to the left to catch the first one on its approach, slicing through with ease, then planting a hand on the severed portion to springboard off. Surprisingly, the skin barely resisted, which I realized that the limbs lacked any bone structure, the source of its stretchiness.
The creature didn't leave me time to analyze this fact, another limb crashing down on my position as I tumbled forward into a handspring, to land on anther limb in mid air. Slicking though it, I again bounded away, spinning through the air to chop through three more limbs before landing on the side of a building. With practiced ease, I spun my reality remote around my index finger, before bringing it to bear on the lampposts and mailbox clutched in the creatures limbs. With a press of a button, the objects sprung to life, the mailbox growing letter teeth in its flapping jaw before biting down hard on the limb holding it, and the two lampposts turning snake-like with blinding eyes, constricting around the creatures main body and limiting its movements.
Enraged, the creature screamed, thrashing as the lampposts bound its limbs to its sides, beset by the aggravated mailbox chomping on any part of the creature it could reach. Reading myself, I sprung off the building and sailed through the air, a ballistic missile of enraged nerdom bearing down on my helpless target. As I brought my force blade above my head, I let out a scream of passion, then I brought the blade down, cleaving through the black mass of limbs before me. When I touched ground, I immediately struck up, then left, then right, than every which way I could reach in broad, sweeping blows. Throughout it all, I continued my yell, meant to intimidate my foe and and prevent my adrenaline surge from wearing off at the same time.
With the final strike, I spun around, facing away from the black creature, which sat there, puzzled. I bowed my head, force sabre at my side as I intoned "You are already dread." Behind me, I felt the explosion as the creatures body expanded suddenly, and then was violently torn apart by the delayed strikes I had left behind. I allowed myself a small smirk as my overcoat billowed in the rush of fetid air streaming bast me, my ginger hair ruffled before settling back into place. With one fluid motion, I sheathed my force blade and returned it to my bandolier, not even needing to look as it slid right into place.
Damn, I felt cool.
Looking back, the black tentacle demon-thing began to dissolve into sludge, running off in the water that was still pouring out of the hydrant and being washed into the sewers. With a point of my remote, I returned my creations to stillness, than put my remote into my coat pocket. Well, that went pretty well.
Suddenly, I was assaulted by a loud sound of cheering. Looking around, the dozen or so pedestrians that had been caught up the fight were gathering around, congratulating me and asking for my hero name. I was baffled. A hero? Me? My mind reeled even harder as the cashier who's phone I had been inside of approached me, looking mostly at the ground.
"T-Thank you for saving me and my co-workers." She said, blushing. I was stunned. What?
"Yeah man, you saved us. You're a hero!" The other cashier had made his way over, and was now grinning at me. At me!
I couldn't take this. The cheering, the praise, it was to much. I backed away from the crowd, fumbling for my reality remote as the pressed in after me, continuing to ask what my name was. The girl and guy from the pizza shop pipped up, saying I had introduced myself as Control Freak. The crowd began to cheer my name, still closing in. I found myself with my back against a wall, staring at a sea of adoring faces. Way, way to much.
"G-Goodnight, everybody." I managed to get out, voice cracking as I pressed a button on my remote. I felt myself slip back through into virtual space, temporarily compressed into a single point before appearing on the opposite side of the big TV screen looking over the square where the fight took place. Below, the crowd continued to cheer, pointing up at my face on the screen and some even taking picture with their cellphones. I waved lamely, then pressed another button, killing all the screens in my lair.
I sunk back into my command chair, overwhelmed. The fight had been simple enough, what with the black tentacle beast being easily defeated. What had really shaken me was the apparent lack of caring displayed by the TITANS. They just didn't seem like heroes anymore, not with how they had been acting. And the crowds outside had been desperate, so much so that they had thought I was a hero.
I sat there for a few minutes more, staring at the blank screens in front of me.
Then I sighed, turning off the power to my screens, until just one was left. I turned it to the 'Home' setting, then pressed another button on my remote, compressing down, then reappearing on the other side of the screen. It was my room, filled with posters and collectibles of my favorite shows, my computer humming behind me with a game I had left idling on display. Several lore books for the expanded universe of shows I liked were on my book case, along with complete book sets of my favorite Table Top Games. Sighing, I crossed the wood floor to my bed, the sheets decorated tiny spaceships and alien planets. I flopped down, the energy drained from my body.
In all honesty, could I still call myself a villain if those were the heroes I opposed? Ones that didn't even care? Ones that put the people of Jump City in danger? These thoughts ran through my head as I lay there.
Rolling onto my back, I sighed again. Looking at my ceiling, I saw the star maps I had hung up for the Warp Trek universe. I lay there for quite some time, staring at the clusters of stars and planets, until I felt my eyes grow heavy. Before I fell asleep, I had one last thought:
What was I going to do now?
(Author's Note)
Welp, I wrote this. After binge watching several episodes of the original Teen Titans and Teen Titans Go!
I feel sad now. I'm gonna go lie down.
Another chapter sometime...?
Bye.