(a/n) DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note, or the song Apologize by Timbaland.
I was listening to the song the other day and it reminded me of Near and Mello. So I decided to write it. Please don't forget to review. Criticism is appreciated, but no flames please. Thank you!
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound.
"Near, we are sorry to inform you that successor two is dead," they say. I know they are talking to me, but I'm watching the screens above my head. Each one replays the death of the second successor, Mello. I don't want to see it anymore. The truck idle, his face expressionless as it falls onto the steering wheel, and the church burning.
"Near, what is our next move to get Kira? Near...?" They try to get my attention, but my mind is elsewhere and I don't answer.
Flashback to Wammy's House:
You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down. But wait, you tell me that you're sorry; didn't think I'd turn around and say...
I am angry. I am sick of his cocky attitude, I'm sick of him looking down on me. Even now as he sobs on the floor at my feet, I'm sick of him. He apologizes over and over again, and I don't believe him. He's not sorry for what he's done, he's sorry that I actually stood up for myself this time.
"Near, I...I know I've hurt you, but I'm sorry. All those times I took advantage of you, I would take them back if I could! Please Near, tell me you forgive me!" Mello cries. I am too angry to forgive him.
That it's too late to apologize, it's too late. I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late.
All of those years I sat and took his beatings without emotion, come back and cloud my vision. I look him in the eyes and can't help but frown in disgust. "Near...I d-don't want to lose you forever," he wails.
"It's too late to apologize," I respond. My usually quiet voice comes out sounding venomous. No amount of crying will keep me from turning my back and walking away. I leave him there to shake in his tear-stained clothes; I pretend I can't hear his choked sobs.
End of flashback. In present time:
I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, that's nothing new.
I wonder to myself in silence, as the SPK is thrown into chaos trying to figure out what to do with themselves now. What if I had never turned my back on him that day? I wonder if it would have prevented that ridiculous rivalry between us.
I suddenly wish I had forgiven him, and taken his hand in mine that day. I wish I had wiped away his tears, and told him I forgave him. If I had done so, he wouldn't have been so determined to beat me at everything, and he wouldn't have been this reckless.
He wouldn't have died.
I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. And you say you're sorry like the angel Heaven let me think was you but I'm afraid...
It's silly. Mello was sorry up until the day he died. And only now do I forgive him. It's ironic, almost cliché.
I am brought back to reality as I hear a clack. The action figure I was holding falls to the ground, and I gaze back up at the image of Mello, slumped over in the truck.
A tear escapes my eye and all of a sudden I want nothing more than to lie on the floor and cry to my heart's content.
It's too late to apologize, it's too late. I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late.
This time I'm the one who's sorry. And I can't tell him. I'll never be able to tell him I'm sorry for all the grief I caused him, and that I forgive him for all the grief he caused me. I'll never tell him anything again.
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...
End
(a/n) Thanks for reading! Also, there is a sideshow on youtube.com that goes along with this Songfic. You can find the directions for viewing it on my profile.