Title: I Believe
Author: Lifeguard
Rating: K
Spoilers: Mulder's abduction, any of those episodes. Songfic to Diamond Rio's "I Believe."
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Suing me is useless, because I owe all my money to the university I go to. I also do not own the song "I Believe" by Diamond Rio, it's all theirs, and I can only hope to ever write something that good.
Summary: After Mulder is abducted, Scully hears a song on the radio that really touches her.
Author's Note: I know this theme/story has been done before, but I saw this video today and as I listened to it, all I could think about were M&S. So I looked up the lyrics, and after reading them, they wouldn't stop going through my head until I wrote this down. Tell me if it was worth it. Enjoy!
The day was overcast and the sky held the threat of rain. Sometimes she thought the weather directly reflected her mood. The only sound was the soft humming of the car's engine, yet if her thoughts could be heard, it would be deafening. Her mind was heavy with grief and yet held so many thoughts of the future, as she gently rubbed her ever growing abdomen. Tired of the silence, and needing anything to take her mind off of everything, she turned on the radio. A happy pop song greeted her, and she flicked to the next station. Heavy rock, no good. She kept pushing the buttons, finding no songs that she felt in the mood to listen to. Finally, turning the dial to the right, she found a country station and a song starting. She gave it the benefit of the doubt and left it on.
Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And it's like you haven't been,
Gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding you and me
She felt her eyes water at the first part of the song. It was exactly how she thought of Mulder. There were times she could swear he was at her side, that she could smell him, that she could nearly reach out and touch him. Sometimes her dreams were so vivid that she could hear his heart beating as he held her.
And with all my heart I'm sure,
We're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see,
I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe
Oh, I believe
She placed one hand on her abdomen, knowing that this baby was keeping her going. It was a part of Mulder, and she had never felt closer to him then when she found out she was pregnant. This baby was her angel.
Now when you die your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light,
It never ends and if I'm right,
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe
Oh, I believe
He wasn't gone. She knew that in her heart. There may have been a funeral, a coffin put into the ground, but he was still with her. It didn't take all the years of working with Mulder to make her believe, her faith was all she ever needed to believe that he was still with her.
Forever, you're a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
I will hold you even longer if I can
Oh, the people who don't see the most,
Say that I believe in ghosts
If that makes me crazy, then I am,
'Cause I believe
Oh I believe
The gravel crunched under her tires as she pulled the car to the shoulder. The tears streamed freely down her cheeks as she stared straight ahead, lost in the song, lost in her memories. She believed. She believed in him, in their love, in their baby. But the line that made her stop, made her pull over was about the ghosts. The line was just meant for her and Mulder.
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe
Oh, I believe
Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And I believe
As the song ended, she was sobbing. She cried for Mulder, for her baby and for herself. It was the first time she had actually wept this hard, let this much emotion out since the funeral. The song had become a cathartic experience.
Later, as she placed the flowers at his grave, the song was still playing in Scully's mind.
Fin