Disclaimer: this is for the whole story, we own nothing! Except from this idea and the drugs.
Hiya, I just wanna say that this story is been written by Envygreedgreenthunder and manic the hedgehog. So enjoy!
Ninja on crack
Summary: Hogwarts prepare your self. When Dumbledore asks for ninja to protect his school he expects cold killing machines, and so does the rest of the school, but the ninja that arrive are dirty minded, mental druggies. One even seams to like fire, a bit too much.
A blue eyed blonde eyed the basket in a raven haired boy's arms. For five minutes they both looked at the innocent basket before the blonde suddenly whipped out a rolled up piece of paper from his bright orange pocket.
"Cheese?" The bloned read off the paper,
"Check" the raven replied,
"Lettuce?"
"Check"
"Tomatoes?"
"Check"
"Cannabis?"
"Illegal drug" the blonde looked up from the list with silted red eyes and growled,
"Cannabis?" The raven shuddered and replied timidly,
"Growing in the back garden", the blonde smiled and his eyes returned to the deep sky blue,
"Good" He chirped. They carried on down the list until they were sure they had everything. After that they headed back to the Uchia compound to set up the party, hence the reason why they were buying food. It was their last day in Konoha before they left for a year long mission to some distant country.
$$$At the party, A.K.A. Time skip$$$
Naruto and Sasuke had set out all the food and put up the decorations. They were ready for their guests. Naruto collapsed on the sofa with a bottle of blue WKD,
"Hey Sasuke, what are ya doing?" he asked as the raven came in dragging a massive box. The said boy straightened and turned to Naruto.
"I brought all the alcohol through from the back room." Naruto sighed happily thinking, 'ah, I taught him well' he head Kyuubi laughing in his head. "Sasuke, could you go get some cannabis and the cigarettes too?" he asked, Sasuke glared at him,
"Get it your self"
"Please Sasu-kun" Sasuke melted at Naruto's puppy dog eyes and went to get the drugs.
"Whipped" kyubi muttered, the chibi Naruto's in said blonde's head snickered. Naruto heard Kyubi's comment and snickered himself as he got up to answer the door. Gaara was standing outside with Temari and Kankerou,
"Hey Gaara, Temari, Kankerou, come in. Dear Sasu-kun is getting the drugs" The sand sibs laughed, everyone but Sasuke seamed to realise that he was whipped. A few minutes after that Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino and Choji all arrived, closely followed by Neji, Lee, Tenten, Kiba and Shino. The last people to arrive were Jiraiya, Tsunade, kakashi and Iruka. Hinata wasn't invited because she was away on Hyuga business. And with that the party started. Shikamaru was standing at the side with a fag in his mouth and a can of beer, Naruto, Gaara, Kankerou, Kiba, Tenten, Neji, Kakashi and Jiraiya were all sitting in a circle passing round the cannabis, then some alcohol, then some more drugs. Those who weren't in the circle were sitting at the table drinking. The night ended with the 16 partiers all being either high, drunk or both. Lee had stripped to his birthday suit and was now stumbling round high and drunk yelling about youthfulness. They soon were all out on the streets stumbling around and giggling madly. This was how the Akastuki found them at three in the morning when they had been about to attack Konoha. To say they were surprised to see the Hokage and Kasekage dancing around and giggling drunkenly was an understatement. They soon spotted Naruto who was running into everything claming he would catch the bogey man. Itachi walked forward and looked him in the eyes, Naruto's pupils were changing sizes, being big one second then shrinking the next, the Uchia turned to his leader,
"Leader-sama, he's high and possibly drunk" the group was silent.
"Hey, isn't that Jiraiya of the sannin?" Kisame asked as a white haired man went stumbling past. The leader nodded.
"I think we should go" Leader proclaimed,
"OKAYS see yaz!" Kisame yelled, they turned to see that the fish man was standing with Deiadara drinking the booze that Tsunade was drunkenly giving them. Itachi sighed and walked over to Kisame, everyone expected him to take the alcohol away from them and drag them back but instead he took a gulp. Leader sighed,
"If ya can't beat them join them" He said before walking toward the drunken Konoha ninja and the tipsy Akastuki.
5 hours later, at eight o clock the drunk and high ninja all collapsed in Sasuke and Naruto's open plan living room. Only an hour later an ANBU was knocking at the door waking up the hung-over ninja.
"Holy fuck, my head" Naruto moaned. As everyone realised that their was the Akastuki in the living room, Sasuke opened the door, only to be met with bright sunlight and chirping birds.
"Oh My God it burns!" He yelled covering his eyes; the ANBU at the door sweat dropped, and dropped the scroll in to the hand that was not protecting the sensitive charcoal eyes. Everyone winced as the door slammed closed. Tsunade looked at the missing Nins again before sighing and standing up. She walked over to the couch, and kicked Jiraiya off it so she could sit down. The white haired man moaned and didn't move. The medic Nin channelled some chakra and placed her hand on her forehead, after a few minutes she stopped with a relieved smile.
"Now that my hangovers gone lets get you lot sorted." She fixed everyone's hangover problem before she turned back to the missing Nins.
"Why are you here?"
"Well we were going to attack but then we ended up joining in on your drinking party." Leader explained. Tsunade shrugged,
"As long as you don't kill us or anything whatever, Sasuke what does the scroll say" the raven opened the scroll and sweat dropped.
"It's to tell us that we're 3 hours late for meeting Dumbledore the man who hired us" everyone else sweat dropped and they all started to move to the Hokage's office.
"Ah sorry we're all late, we had a party and err…whatever. So are you ready to take your ninja Dumbledore-sama?" the old man chuckled and nodded. To Tsunade's gesture a load of moaning ninja came forward, the group consisted of: The Konoha 12 and the sand sibs. Akastuki were now milling around at the back not really having anything to do…until Tobi had an idea.
"Hey leader-senpai!" Leader sighed, this was going to be a long day, "Why don't we go to Hogwarts and cause trouble?!" yes this was going to be a very long day.
"Tobi, I'm sure this man doesn't want us destroying his castle." Dumbledore chuckled and nodded his head once more before popping a lemon drop into his mouth.
"Lemon drop?" The poor old man was bombarded by ninja, all wanting to taste the sweet.
"CANDY!!!!!" The ninja all collapsed on the floor eating the sugary treat. Tsunade sighed and hid the happy pills she used to keep her self sane.
Tsunade sighed and calmed the ninja down, "Okay, listen up! The mission is…"
"Wow this is some shit-ass castle" Naruto said awed.
Yo this is envy! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! The next chapter will be being written by Manic the Hedgehog.
Hope you enjoyed!