The girls who wore makeup, drank lattes, and carried around big, initial-covered bags. . . I was never one of those girls. I was never a stupid girl. I didn't care about whether my eyebrows had been plucked lately or not, I cared whether or not my Staryu had mastered water gun yet. I was a Pokemon trainer. I wasn't a stupid girl.
My sisters; sure, they wore makeup, but they also trained Pokemon. Somehow, they still made time for makeup, manicures, and dating, though. How they could afford lip gloss, mascara, and Pokeballs was beyond me, but I didn't dwell on it. I had Magicarp to train.
If they wanted to waste time on silly things like dating stupid boys then I wasn't stopping them. I would be training, be pruning up in the winter, perfecting my breaststroke in freezing water with my Horsea, to ensure my place as the world's greatest water Pokemon trainer.
Only when I blushed with him for the first time did I ever care about anything like bronzer. I didn't even know what bronzer was until we were wondering around the city, and I saw it in a store window. I wasn't even going to use it to look better, just to hide my face if, for some strange reason, my face went red around him again.
But then I discovered things like mascara. Mascara would puff up my eyelashes, and hide that look in my eyes that made him look so confused. And damnit, cute, too.
Eyeliner, lipstick, lip gloss; they all served to hide me from him, but the realization that I knew was coming, coming from him, was closing in quickly.
I tried to avoid it. I didn't make eye contact with him. I ignored his cutest quirks(though sometimes I couldn't help myself). I told myself over and over again that it was nothing but a hormonal girl crush, the kind that was natural for girls my age. It was nothing to fret about. It would pass.
It wasn't until I was lying on the bank of a river stream during what should have been a good swim, mascara running down my face that was half soaked in water and half soaked in tears from the black stinging, until I realized that it was getting the best of me.
That girly stupidity, that stupid girl-ishness that I had always resented.
And so I gave into it.
It wasn't as bad as I thought, though my pride had been slaughtered to mince meat and my self esteem was surviving off of the little glances that he sent me. I was fine. I threw in a subtle flirt every now and then and I was fine.
I was fine.
I was fine, I was fine, I was fine.
That was what I told myself.
But scrubbing at my hair, having to fight the chlorine out with conditioner, I pined again for the strength that I used to be proud of myself for.
So was I happy or not when I got called back to the Cerulean City gym and away from my girly addiction? I don't know. I just-- don't know. I don't think I want to know. Either way it makes me weak.
I'm not a stupid girl. I'm not a girl who is stupid for makeup and I'm not a girl who is stupid about myself. I know that he's gone now, off in some far away land, meeting some far away girls and catching some far away Pokemon. He wouldn't have it any other way.
But I needed something. Something to calm myself with, something to suffice my stupid needs until I saw him again.
I didn't know what I was expecting, traveling all the way to Pallet Town without notice. The gym back home would be idle for a while, but then, I guess my stupidity overlooked that.
A forced smile, some sweet banter, and a cup of tea later, when I arrived at Ash--- the Ketchums' house, I got to the point of my visit as quickly as I could:
"Um, say, Miss Ketchum?"
"Hm, yes, Misty?"
"I was wondering if I could ask you for something. . ."
"Misty, what is it? You can ask me for anything."
"Well, I'll be going back to Cerulean City, and I was just wondering. . . well. . . if I. . ." Suddenly, all of the bronzer in the world couldn't hide the red of my face.
"Oh, dear." To my shock, Miss Ketchum placed a loving hand on my shoulder. "I know what you mean."
"Huh?!" Confusion and worry came upon me like Brock on a beautiful girl.
"Well, I've always known." She smiled so sweetly that my teeth began to ache(though maybe that was because I had been grinding them).
"Ho--How. . ." I was so consumed in confusion that my thoughts came to a halt.
"Honey, I'm a mother. I know everything." Out of the closest cabinet to her in the kitchen(as though she had been expecting to make use of it?), Miss Ketchum revealed to me something that I never thought would leave Ash's head.
His cap.
His stupid, precious, dirty limited edition Pokemon League Expo cap that he would never let his mother wash because it was too important and lucky.
"He left. . ."
"Yes." Memories and feelings of betrayal poured into me like a wife who had just walked in on her husband, a bottle of champagne, some cotton sheets, and his three mistresses.
"But. . ."
"Oh, it just doesn't fit him anymore." I tasted the lie like lemonade with no sugar.
He was moving onto bigger and better things, and of course, he needed a better hat.
"I was going to keep it, but I thought that maybe you should have it."
It didn't dawn on me that she had left the room until I asked her for the time and she wasn't there to answer. I glanced over at the wall clock and I realized that I had spent half an hour just staring at the red, white, and green hat in front of me.
I took it and left on my new bike that I had purchased with my own money. After all of this time, he still hadn't paid me back for my bicycle that he broke. I knew that when he returned from his new adventure, I would use that as a ploy to stay with him for as long as I could. As weak as that made me feel.
He actually probably already had enough money to repay me, but then, I probably wasn't the top priority on his list.
The weakness that I felt was tripling in size.
Ash-- not the Ash he was now, but the Ash I used to know-- he would have been angry at me for getting his cap all wet. Good thing I wasn't wearing any eyeliner, or I would have stained it, too.
Ash Ketchum, that stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
He went and made me stupid for him.
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~KITTYLO'S CORNER~
The big CN's showing of Pokemon: The Third Movie inspired this. I thought, "Oh, Misty and Ash! They're so adorable." And then, I remembered Hoenn. Now I remember why I stopped watching the anime.