The Amorous Relations Conundrum

Summary: Taking all the most recent episodes of Season 7 of TBBT into account, we delve deep into the psyche of one, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and his thoughts concerning Amy Farrah-Fowler and how a single kiss could change everything between them...or perhaps, there's no change at all?

SPOILER ALERT! Rated T for swearing and adult themes. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters from The Big Bang Theory show. They all belong to the writers and to Chuck Lorre. I am merely taking Sheldon's thoughts for a test ride.

-TBBT-

Love.

Romance.

Sex.

Sheldon did not understand any of it.

These concept were not unfamiliar, and yet they were so foreign at the same time.

He knew what they were on paper, he knew the science and the chemicals behind them, and he could even admit to understanding why other men chose to dedicate their lives to "getting booty" as Howard might say, but for the life of him, he couldn't understand the appeal.

What was interesting was that he could learn a new foreign language better and faster than he could learn the "language of love" as Penny might call it.

But, there was Amy & her "feelings" to consider.

Technically, and contractually, he was her boyfriend...and for some unknown reason, one he could not fathom in the slightest, she had said she "wanted more" out of this relationship.

How the hell was he, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, PhD & scientist, genius extraordinaire, supposed to handle her feelings as well as his own? How was he supposed to provide more intimacy for her?

Why does that little vixen of mine want romance for, anyway?

What was the point of it?

Well, okay, he knew what the point, or rather, the ultimate goal of love was coitus, as Leonard, Howard, & Raj so often chose to remind him, annoying smirks plastered on their faces.

And Sheldon would simply sigh a little at these antics and glare at them all, his patience wearing thin on the matter, then proceed to walk back into his room after explaining that he was tired, and needed his rest for work tomorrow, in which the rest of the guys would stick around chuckling to themselves.

The truth of the matter was: Sheldon just wasn't comfortable with the idea of coitus. At all.

So much unnecessary touching...and...and..."feelings"...and then there was the unsanitary exchanging of bodily fluids...ugh. Eeeewwwwie.

The very image made him physically nauseous and downright squeamish. It made him shiver in fear. It made him want to flee to another country, or at the very least, make him want to repeatedly wash his hands in disgust.

Sheldon was quite aware of-or rather, more aware than he'd like to be-of everyone else's relationship status, almost on a daily basis. He felt he was constantly being bombarded with sex around every corner, and sometimes, quite literally, he was...thanks to Leonard & Penny's efforts in the next room.

But it wasn't just that, no...worse yet, they enjoyed poking fun at him and Amy's inability to have sex, or just the weirdness of their "relationship" in general. Penny, to her credit, at least seemed to be rooting for them in her own sweet, maternal way as apposed to the guy's endless ribbing.

Why must they mock what they don't understand?

Although, here he was, admitting to himself that he didn't quite understand his relationship with Amy any better than they did sometimes...especially now...after the incident on the train...

He really should be used to this kind of behavior from them and others, and people like his college co-worker Kripke, but the truth was, it was really starting to grate on his nerves.

Why couldn't they just mind their own business and let him and Amy figure this out on their own?

Why must they feel the need to...meddle so much?

Oh, he knew, deep down, that they only did it because they cared about their happiness and it wasn't as if Sheldon wasn't grateful for all the advice Penny or Leonard or Raj had given him over the years...

It was more about the point that they should understand how personal this problem was...how he believed such private matters should be made to remain private.

Sheldon really believed that their relationship was nobody's business but his own and that any changes made to his & Amy's status should be discussed, signed, notarized and cataloged by them alone.

And back to the topic at hand, was he even "in love" with Amy? The kiss that they had shared a few weeks ago, on that train, sure put everything into a sort of surreal perspective for him. With it came...feelings...emotions...(if was being honest with himself) hormones and thoughts...that a scientist should not be feeling, as well as a kind of clarity such that he had never experienced before.

Was this what love felt like?

He had absolutely no idea. He had no experience with this sort of thing before probably because he had never allowed for it in his rigorously scheduled life.

The kiss was never meant to mean anything. He was simply trying to prove his point, a rather good one, actually...but then...the worst thing imaginable occurred: he started to enjoy it. He couldn't stop kissing her...and so, for approximately eleven seconds...his brain shut down and his traitorous "hippy-like" feelings took over. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. Not to him. Not to Sheldon Cooper. This was ridiculous. This was highly illogical. This was...not so bad...wait, what?

His mind had been, for the first time, in complete chaos following the moments of that kiss. Nothing made sense...and that was somehow, inexplicably...OK? How is that possible?

But...the truth was, that yes...he was OK with this new development. For now. It certainly shut her up for the remainder of the weekend. It made her quite agreeable to any demands, suggestions, comments, or quips that he made at her or at Howard & Bernadette's expense (only when warranted, of course), which in turn pleased him.

Eventually, though, his scientific mind was back on track and life resumed as normal...or so he thought, until Leonard decided to buy that stupid table!

And then, like a firm slap on the face, Penny had spelled out everything quite clearly. Amy had changed him. Maybe even irreparably. And it terrified Sheldon to no end.

Amy had, single-highhandedly, and quite stealthily, altered his personality...to one in which he was more open to possibilities involving touch, feelings, and...the concepts of love & romance.

His mind was reeling. He was losing all of his control over...over...himself...and this whole situation. And that wasn't a good thing...or was it?

He felt sick...but also excited...two very different emotions that he felt had no business coinciding. He just felt different when he was around Amy.

Even his work was suffering...he was more distracted than ever...because of her.

But...he has to get this under control...he has to. He would fight it, tooth and nail, if he had to. He would show her that she was not in charge, HE was. She was his woman, after all! He would make her see reason.

Or maybe that's your stubborn Texas pride rearing its ugly head?

Things got so confusing...at the time, though, it was absolutely clear. He could no longer allow Amy to choose his destiny for him. It was time to end this charade...and stormed into Amy's apartment with his "Termination Agreement" .pdf file at the ready, a determined glint in his eyes. But then, just as he was about to state his case and end their relationship for good, Amy pointed out that it was Leonard who was manipulating him!

Well, Sheldon was not about to let Leonard win this round! And so, his plans got derailed, forgotten by all, including himself, as dinner plans cropped up. But hey, in the end, he managed to convince the group to see things his way after all...at least, his feelings regarding the table.

But it did not solve his problems with Amy.

Just because things momentarily got swept under the rug does not mean that they will stay there. And he also knows that, despite all that has happened between them, Sheldon realizes that he does care for Amy in a way that he does not care for the others.

It may not be love...but it's definitely something tangible. He knows, deep down, on perhaps his own subatomic level, that he would miss her presence should she ever try to leave him...or vice versa, and that he acted foolishly, recklessly, in trying to end things with her.

And maybe...just maybe...as Leonard & Penny stated, change can be a good thing. It was the natural order of things to evolve over time...in fact, it was a fact of science. Something he did understand.

And so...OK...maybe Amy has changed him ever so slightly, molding him into a more open person.

And so...OK...maybe he sort of liked kissing her and would not be averse to doing it again if asked.

And so...OK...maybe he didn't mind all her attempts at cuddling or hand-holding as much as he used to.

And so...OK...maybe...just maybe...he could even entertain the notion of the possibility of them becoming...er...intimate-like mommies & daddies do-eventually...and not mind it, either.

So what? It was inevitable. It was science. And who was he, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, to argue with science?

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...Oh, who am I kidding? I argue with it every day! I'm still me and no cunning vixen is ever going to change that! You may have tricked me before with your girly wiles and your skirts and your pretty brown doe eyes and you may think that you have manipulated your way into my heart, or some such romantical nonsense as such, but guess what? I'm onto your wicked ways, Amy Farrah-Fowler...so watch yourself because this Vulcan ain't goin' down that easy! Do your worst, evil temptress!

-TBBT-

A/N: I have been trying to write a Big Bang Theory story about Sheldon & Amy for awhile now and it's proven to be quite difficult for me to do. This is my first & only BBT story...so far. And it's mainly about change and how some, like Amy, try to instigate change, for what they believe is for the better, while people like Sheldon, choose instead to flee from it or, if pushed, choose to fight it.

Change, as they say, is inevitable...but it seems to go hand in hand with resistance. And that is also good. The journey wouldn't be worth it if things were that easy. Change takes time. And my point to all this is that while I am a HUGE Shamy Shipper, I don't want to see Sheldon succumb so easily to the high expectations of the others about what *they* think his relationship with Amy should be.

But it's also about how I truly believe that Sheldon should never actually speak those 3 little words that everyone on the show (including Amy) and the fans, want to hear simply because I think it would be terribly OOC for Sheldon. Instead, if it ever gets to that point, I would prefer to hear him say something like, "I highly value and esteem your existence and would be greatly saddened by the loss of your company." Something like that would be romantic enough to suffice. That, and another kiss, perhaps, in the near future. Yeah, that'd be nice. ;o)