Her tea was getting cold.
She was surprised that it still mattered to her, even after all this time, but at least it gave her something to think about besides him. Not that there was much else to think about.
It had been fifty-one years since she'd last seen him, since he'd promised her he'd be back and then left her to pick up the pieces when they found his body. At least, it had been fifty-one years to her. To the outside world, it might have been fifty-one seconds. Or days.
Or centuries.
She still didn't know why she'd gone offworld after that. Maybe somehow she'd known that the whole thing was going into lockdown and if she didn't get out she'd go down with the rest of her ancient and decaying race. Or maybe she'd just wanted to get away.
Her ever-precise mind was quick to remind her that she had lost more than a husband that day, and that the memory of a girl's cry and a stuffed bear was more painful to her than anything else could ever be. And then her still-too-sensitive heart was quick to pull her attention back to her cup of tepid tea.
"You okay, Suvi?"
She turned to the waitress, who was balancing a tray of mugs and a stack of menus on two of her tentacles, and nodded.
"I'm fine, Aleena." she said, shivering and pulling her shawl closer about her stick-thin shoulders.
The green girl smiled. "Just let me know if you need anything, alright?"
She nodded and returned to staring at her Earl Grey.
Moments later, her reverie was interrupted yet again as the shop door banged open with an awkward grace not seen on that planet for ages. She looked up to see three humans stumble in, all laughing.
"Finally!" the first one, a rather pretty woman with red hair, exclaimed. "We're out of that cold!"
"What is this place?" the second, a dark-haired man, asked.
The third man answered with a dramatic flourish of his hand. "This is the Empty Mug, the only historically accurate coffee shop in Neo Persephone - and, consequently, on all of Capricorn VI - and it's particularly famous for having the best coffee in the entire universe."
"What, all of it?" the girl asked.
"Of course." the gangly man continued. "Drinks are on me."
She felt her pulse race as the newcomer spoke. He's so familiar... no. No, it can't be him. It can't be. It's just another symptom. It has to be.
Still, if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that you never miss an opportunity to make a friend.
So against her better judgement, she stood up, tucked in her dark shawl, and approached the odd man in the suspenders. Pain edged her vision as she came closer, but she ignored it.
"Pardon me," she said, "but do you know if there's a holonovel emporium nearby?"
Even as the words left her mouth she berated herself internally. Stupid girl. He'll never answer you, that was a stupid question!
But to her shock, the gangly man with the shock of brown hair leaned in, towering over her like some kind of human skyscraper.
"Do I... know you?" he asked.
She wanted to nod. She wanted to ask why he didn't know her at first glance, but she knew it was just another stage of this cursed disease.
Her attention was drawn to his tweed jacket - snazzy, the sort of thing her husband would have worn - and she noticed a small card work its way out of the front pocket and fall to the stone floor.
"Let me get that." she said apologetically, bending over to retrieve the card. He extended a large hand to take it back, and their fingers brushed -
oh, galaxies and blue boxes, it's HIM
- and her head reeled at the double-pulse pounding through his hand, and she realized that she was on the verge of tears even before the card had left her grasp, and she took a deep breath and fled back to her squashy red chair by the window.
Of course the man in the suspenders had to follow her, and of course he had to sit across from her.
"I know." he said simply, and she heard the unspoken what you are on the end of his sentence.
She looked out the window. Just being near him was making her feel sick, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him that.
"I suppose you want to know why you didn't sense me." she said matter-of-factly, sounding something like her first self. "Why you didn't hear my heartbeats when you walked in the door. It's because I shield myself. I can't bear all the noise inside my head, it's always pounding inside of me and - "
"Susan?" he whispered.
I can't do this.
She looked at the two humans, arguing good-naturedly in the drink line. She wondered if they were his friends, or if he'd just given them a lift. It had been so long since they'd seen each other that anything seemed possible.
"It's Suvi now." she said softly. "After they died, I couldn't use that name anymore."
He looked at her, and she saw something both familiar and coldly alien in his eyes.
"How did you survive?" he asked.
"I... I don't know." she said. "I went offworld after they died - my husband and Lena, I mean - and then I felt it all end. I heard it - a million screams of pain and anger burning for eternity - and then there was nothing but silence. And I was alone."
He was looking out the window now, and she realized with a jolt that there were tears in his eyes.
"I know." he said. "I don't know why I'm alive either."
"You've changed." she sighed. "You never used to cry."
He turned back to look at her and took a deep breath.
"Come with me." he said, and there was longing and pain in his voice.
She blinked and felt saltwater tears wash down her face as she shook her head.
"I... I can't."
His shock hit her like a slap in the face, now that her mind was open and she could feel him in all his familiar strangeness.
"Why not?"
She gestured down at her black-clad body and took a sip of her tea. Ugh. Note to self: new tastebuds do not like cold tea.
"Because I'm dying."
"What?"
"Degenerative chronosis." she said. "I caught it at the end of the War. I nearly died getting here, and if I travel again I'll die on your console room floor. And that would kill you."
His fist slammed into the table and rattled her teacup.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She sighed.
"You were back home, and then everything went into Lock and I couldn't reach anyone. And then I... I thought you were dead."
He was crying now, though he was trying to hide it.
"I can't stay." he said, standing up and straightening his jacket. "Hurting you any more is out of the question."
"No." she said, desperate to stop him. "Please."
"The longer I'm near you the more sick I'm making you." he insisted. "You can't - I won't kill you."
She realized she was sobbing.
"Please!" she begged. "Don't just go like you always do. Please stay."
He looked over his shoulder at the humans, who were sitting together and sipping their drinks.
"They need me." he said. "Like they always do."
And she realized that this was really goodbye, and she desperately wanted to tell him everything she'd never told him, so she leapt to her feet and wrapped him in the tightest hug she could manage, planting a kiss on his cheek before he finally gave in and embraced her, sobbing quietly.
"I love you, Susan." he whispered, letting go and turning away.
She watched as he miraculously smiled and whisked the human couple out the door almost too quickly.
"Goodbye, Grandfather." she answered, watching as he stepped outside and became nothing more than a memory.