Based on the tumblr song prompt meme: Yours, by Ella Henderson.
And I will find my strength to untape my mouth
When I used to be afraid of the words
But with you I've learned just to let it out
Now my heart is ready to burst
'Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love
And I wanna be your everything and more
And I know every day you say it
But I just want you to be sure
That I'm yours
She was slumped in the chair beside his hospital bed when his eyes flicked open, the sleeves of her thin jacket scrunched up to the elbows and a strand of hair that fell loose from her ponytail dangling over her forehead, knitted together as she closely examined his chart.
"You know, I passed the bar and I can't even understand that, you might want to avoid it."
A faint touch of surprise crossing her mismatched eyes upon hearing his sleep tinged drawl, Kensi tilted her head upward, lowering the chart to touch it to her denim encased knee. "Maybe I'm just smarter than you."
"Uh-huh." Grimacing as he strained to shift the pillows that had moved position during his short nap, Deeks cocked his head slightly, plastering a smirk to his lips to cover the sting of his midsection. "Shouldn't you be catching bad guys?"
"Slow day," she shrugged.
"And you decided to visit your dear partner."
"Not quite."
"But you missed me," he persisted, flashing her a grin that her biting her lower lip to cover a now familiar smile, brought about by his jokes and shenanigans done to get a rise out of her, and maybe, possibly, to get that smile out of her.
"Like we even notice that you're gone," she scoffed, mirth showing in her eyes that sent a warm burst of pleasure he didn't quite understand through him, content with the knowledge he put that edge of laughter in her voice.
"They'll let me loose soon," he shrugged, tilting his head to glance past the mostly closed door to the hallway beyond.
Nodding lightly to accept his words, Kensi leaned fully back in the small chair, fingers curling around the armrests. "Sam will be excited."
"Uh-huh." Shifting again on the mattress, he found the nook in the pillows his head fit so perfectly in before, stretching the best he could before glancing toward his partner again, disappointed by the seriousness that overtook her expression yet again, but such was the plight of Kensi Marie Blye, never too lighthearted for long.
However, it was the faint touch of guilt streaking her eyes that he hated, the quirk of her lips as she glanced over his chart once more, her thoughts almost audible, self-irritation for allowing her partner, teammate to be shot because of her, allowing herself to be read so easily that they knew she'd be there, knew she'd stay by his side; irritation over letting herself come so close to having a bullet pierce her skin, be dragged into that van to endure God knows what until Vakar was satisfied with her lack of knowledge over his former wife and son, until another bullet found her.
Itching to remind her of what her logical side surely already knew, that none if this was her fault; she was safe, he was safe, Deeks settled for a soft "you good?" knowing his partner well enough to be aware that she'd shut down with just a little pushing, words truly not her strong suit.
"I'm fine," she responded easily, loose smile already falling over the tense look that had captured her features just seconds before, undercover experience teaching her to hide unwanted emotions, teaching him to detect them, store the information away for a time when she'd be more open. "I should go in fact."
"They haven't brought my evening cup of Jell-O around yet."
"I'll let you have this one," she winked, pushing herself up from the chair and pushing the chart back where it belonged.
"How generous of you," he quipped dryly, pushing back a stray lock of blonde hair. "You never did thank me for saving your life."
Passing him a small, genuine smile, Kensi tapped the end of the bed lightly. "I'll bring you a doughnut tomorrow."
She was too exhausted to hurt, she decided weakly, allowing him to drape a thick blanket over her, pulling her close to her side with an arm that warmed her far more than the blanket.
"You should sleep," Deeks murmured, blue eyes watching her every movement, utterly terrified of losing her from his field of vision and losing her completely, when he'd already lost her once before, the grief and rage consuming him.
Nodding painfully, each motion straining a bruise or cut, Kensi nestled closer into the nook of his side, knowing that soon old instincts would pressure her into facing this alone, blocking him from the pain so it wouldn't hurt him too, to avoid letting him the weakness, but for this moment she allowed herself the comfort of burrowing closer against him, his arms secure around her.
He saved her, saved Sam and Callen, Granger, Sabatino, perhaps countless others, she heard the thanks directed towards him in the dining hall before they left, saw the hug Sam wrapped him in, thanks for giving him more time with his wife and kids, an act that proved he was more than a simple Detective, that he more deserved his place on their team, despite whatever had occurred that had Granger speaking quietly to him when she exited the airplane bathroom earlier.
And he was complicated, genuine words spoken to him holding too many layers for a simple thanks to be passed like with Sam and Callen, too complicated for the fuzz of exhaustion in her mind, almost numbing her from the pain that pierced her every limb, almost.
"Sleep, Kens," he ordered gently, moving beside her on her old couch, concern clear in every word that left his mouth, in his motions when he smoothed a palm over her loose curls.
Pressing her nose to the soft cotton of his shirt, the smell of him that surrounded her soothing like nothing else, so much better than the pictures and occasional videos of him she moved through during lonely nights in Afghanistan, when all she wanted was this, him pressed against her; Kensi sighed, letting a tremble work its way through her body. She was too exhausted to hurt, but tomorrow, tomorrow when the sun rose and she woke with memories of her trauma fresh in her mind, she'd hurt, she'd push him away.
"Thank you, Deeks," she mumbled into his shoulder, feeling him rub her shoulder blade lightly in response before she slipped into a slumber, praying the nightmares wouldn't hit just yet.
Fucking moron, Kensi hissed internally, brimming with a mixture of anger, relief, and fear as Deeks twisted his arm before her, glancing over the bandage covering his brand new wound, the blood staining the sleeve of his white v-neck.
"That's why you don't jump in front of a gun."
"And let you go to the ER?" He questioned.
"I had it under control," Kensi replied, words released on a frustrated exhalation, stepping just an inch closer and darting her gaze over to Sam and Callen briefly. "You got shot."
"Graze, there's a difference, and I was wearing my vest this time."
Squeezing her eyes shut for a nanosecond, Kensi reached out, brushing her fingers over the skin just beneath the bandage covering his bicep, absolutely despising the wound underneath, that the bullet was meant for her, that he paid for his act of reckless stupidity, pushing her out of way, with this.
His defense was solid however, she'd have done the same, even if it had meant a bullet tearing through her heart.
"I'll be fine," he persisted. "You can be my nurse."
"Shut up," she huffed, lightly shoving his good arm. "You have to be careful."
Reaching out to tug her into his side, Deeks nodded, lightly kissing her temple, a weak attempt to slow her still racing heart. "I love you."
Swallowing hard, Kensi closed her eyes carefully, drowning in the fear of coming to near to losing him, of the first time he said those words, hovering just above her their first night together, before the world fell apart around them; the second time, away in Mammoth, hiding in a snow surrounded cabin when he whispered those three words to what he thought was her sleeping form, many times in the months following, when she didn't have the bravery to say it back, tiny sentence building, almost leaving her mouth accidentally so many times that it did, in a forest in Russia where she pulled in back in desperate, needing it to mean more than an accidental slip.
Though perhaps she shouldn't have, forcing too much to build up when he simply needed the words, if his kisses when they finally had a few private moments in Russia were any indication.
Nodding slowly and opening her eyes along with a trembling exhalation, Kensi eased back slightly in his loose embrace, pushing down the burst of irrational fear. "I love you, too."